Page 81 of Beautifully Broken

I step out the front door and I’m thankful I went with my new dress paired with brown booties. The light breeze flows through my hair and the sun warms my skin as I walk to my car. Settling into the driver’s seat, I enter the address into my car’s GPS.

Nerves and excitement vibrate through me with every passing mile as I make my way to the farm. It’s not long before I’m heading up the winding driveway.

Once I reach the parking area of the farm, I spot Trevor. He’s wearing blue jeans, a fitted hunter green t-shirt showing off his muscular, tattooed arms, a pair of work boots and he has his backpack with his camera equipment on.

He looks good.

Trevor waves as I pull in next to his SUV.

As I cut the engine, my door opens. Trevor is right there with a huge grin on his face.

I smile up at him. “Are you sure you don’t model?”

He chuckles. “Well, hello to you, too. No modeling for me. I prefer to be behind the camera.”

Trevor reaches his hand out for me and I gladly take it. A feeling of comfort washes over me the second his hand touches mine. Even though I don’t need it, he helps me out of my seat and I shut the door.

He glances over me from head to toe. “You look even more beautiful in that dress in person.”

I glance away from him. “Thanks,” I tell him, shyly.

“You don’t like compliments?” he asks, still holding my hand, leading me away from our vehicles.

I shrug. “I rarely get them from people I know.”

Trevor lightly squeezes my hand. “Well, we’re going to change that. ”

“If you say so.” I glance around at our surroundings. “So, where is this spot for today?” I ask to change the subject.

He turns his attention towards me with a smile. “Well, how do you feel about horses?”

I can’t help but return his smile. “They’re beautiful. I’ve always wanted to learn to ride. Why?”

“The spot is in between the paddock and pastures for the horses.”

“Will we get to see any?” I squeeze his hand, the excitement rolling off me.

“Sure, will. Come on.” Trevor leads me toward the walkway.

As we walk, I take in the farm’s scenery—the silos, chicken coop, and pastures.

I’m stopping every few steps, calling attention to different parts of the farm, and Trevor is sweet about it.

He may have a photoshoot to get to, but he doesn’t rush me at all.

I feel like a child from the excitement I get at each new animal we spot.

Between the sunshine, the landscape and Trevor holding my hand in his, I feel like this might just be a dream.

As we walk around a bend, a gasp leaves me and I stop in my tracks, causing Trevor to drop my hand.

Four horses are trotting around the pasture like they are playing tag. Two of them are chocolate brown with a white diamond on their foreheads. The other two are predominantly white with brown patches.

Trevor places his arm around my shoulders, leading me towards them. Set up right next to the fence is a table, but I don’t see anyone else, though.

I wonder what he’s photographing, if not a person?

Trevor stops us at the table, placing his backpack on it, and turns to face me. “So what do you say to having your pictures done today?”

I tilt my head. “Are you serious?”

He nods. “Yes, it’s time you see how beautiful you are inside and out.”

Before I can stop myself, I throw my arms around his neck. His arms circle around my waist, pulling me tight against his chest and lifting me up.

Setting me down on my feet, his arms still holding me close, I watch as a smile spreads across his face. “This was a good idea?”

I nod enthusiastically, lost for words.

Trevor is beyond thoughtful and the fact that he planned this, just for me, has me melting on the inside for him .

When I’m around him, I feel this sense of calmness and I’m able to get out of my head.

He grabs his camera off the table and points to where he wants me. “Why don’t we start with you by the fence and the horses?”

I smile. “You got it.” I slowly walk over to where Trevor pointed to.

“Just be you, Soph. I’ll do the rest.”

Stepping up to the fence, I lean on my forearms and close my eyes, letting the sun wash over me. A light breeze makes its way over my face and through my hair, and all I can think is, this is what freedom feels like.

Freedom is like the wind, blowing whichever way it chooses. Making the decision all on its own, anyone else be damned. That’s what I need in my life. That’s what I have to make happen.

I can’t continue to let my mom ruin me with her spiteful words. I’m far too young not to enjoy my life. And I’m too old not to make my own decisions. It doesn’t matter that all I want is for my mother to be proud of me and have her vocalize that.

Isn’t that what every child wants from their parents? Approval? For them to be proud of them?

Mom doesn’t comprehend the negative impact she has on my life or that I’m struggling with an eating disorder because of it. After this weekend, I don’t know how else to make her see how she affects me.

I don’t realize tears have spilled over my eyes until I feel Trevor’s thumb wiping them away.

I turn to see a frown on his face. “I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head. “There isn’t anything to be sorry about. Are you okay?”

He cups my cheek, and I lean into his hand. “Yeah. I’m okay. This is the best I’ve felt in a long time.”

He moves his free hand around my back. “Come here.” He brings me to his chest and wraps his other arm around me and rubs my back.

Trevor pulls back, but doesn’t let go. “Want to see the pictures?”

I smile. “Of course.”

He lets his hands drop, but laces our fingers together and leads me over to the table before pulling his laptop out and connecting his camera to it. After a few clicks, the pictures appear on the screen .

Holy shit! They are beautiful.

The way Trevor captures the background is amazing, but it’s the focal point being on me that has me breathless.

Somehow, he has encapsulated me and all of my emotions. The vulnerability, sadness and happiness all at the same time.

I can’t tear my gaze away from the screen as he goes through each picture.

“Trevor—”

I lose my words as the last picture flashes across the screen. There I am, face to the sun, eyes closed, with wisps of hair blowing in the wind and a single tear falling down my cheek.

This shows everything I was feeling in that moment, and Trevor cemented it in time. This is a photo I’ll be able to look back on in years to come and remember exactly how I was feeling.

I place my hand on his arm and give him a squeeze. “Thank you, Trevor.”

“Anytime, Soph.” He places his hand on top of mine. “Do you like them?”

I nod. “I love them. The way you’re able to capture who I am at this moment is amazing. You’re so talented.”

He brushes his thumb along my hand. “I told you, Sophia. You are beautiful inside and out. This is how I’ve always seen you. I just hope I did you justice.”

I lean my head on his shoulder. “You did. More than you know.”

He kisses the top of my head before leaning his own against mine.

I fall for him just a little harder. Not only is he always supportive of me, but he’s been there to listen to me vent over the past few months, and now this? He’s shown me what I look like through his eyes.

I’m a beautiful, caring and strong person. Each picture proves I’m everything that my mom makes me feel that I’m not.

It’s not long after we’re back at our vehicles. Trevor has placed all of his belongings in his trunk before he walks me to my car door.

I turn to face him, leaning back on my car door. “Thank you again for today.”

He winks, smiling at me. “You’re welcome. It was nice to spend the afternoon with you outside of work.”

I nod and smile. “I agree. ”

“So listen,” he pauses, shoving his hands in his jean pockets, “I know that we’re friends and I don’t want to ruin that, but—”

“But what?” I ask, my eyebrows furrowing as I twist my key ring in my hands.

He shakes his head. “No, Soph. Nothing bad.” He rubs a hand across the back of his head and squeezes his neck, which does absolutely nothing to calm my nerves.

“I like you Soph. As more than a friend. You’re beautiful inside and out.

You’re kind. You have the biggest heart.

” He admits keeping eye contact with me the entire time.

I drop my keys in shock.

I knew I wasn’t alone in these feelings.

Trevor blows out a breath. “I’ve been so nervous to tell you because I don’t want to ruin our—”

Pushing off my car, I step towards him and smile. “I feel the same way.”

Trevor wraps his arms around me, holding on tightly. “You do?” I smile into his chest and nod my head, at a loss for more words. “You just made my day,” he says, like he can’t believe what I’m telling him.

Trevor drops a kiss to the top of my head before letting me go. He opens my car door and closes it for me once I’m inside.

Turning on my car, I immediately roll the window down.

He places his forearms on the door, moving his head into the car. “Let me know when you get home.”

“I will.” Not hiding the goofy grin on my face.

As he walks to his vehicle, I can’t help but notice how well his jeans and tee shirt fit him. Letting out a sigh, I start my car and make my way home.

Damn, today was a good freaking day.