Page 66 of Beautifully Broken

Nova

I can’t believe what I just heard some guys saying in the hallway.

I freeze. The world spins around me, but somehow, my feet stay glued to the floor.

Every word they repeat that he said sinks into me like a weight, dragging me down.

The building feels too small, and suddenly, the walls are closing in.

I don’t know how I’m still standing, how my legs haven’t given out beneath me. I try to act like nothing’s wrong, like nothing he said matters. I even force myself to smile, but it’s a smile I don’t recognize. It feels hollow.

“Did you hear what Jax had to say about his girl when he heard us talking about her? That she’s a total mess, a head case. Trying to act all perfect. It’s exhausting. She’s good at pretending, though. Don’t be fooled.”

Are you fucking kidding me? That is what he actually thinks of me?

I want to scream. I want to ask him why he would ever say anything like that.

But I know the answer already. My move is just bringing the truth out.

He doesn’t love me. Not like I love him.

I grab my bag, heart heavy and bitter, and walk away — because at this point, walking away is all I have left.

Cali stops me, seeing my eyes watery with unshed tears she says, “Let’s have a girls’ night, fuck these boys. We can vent, snack, and just avoid it all.” I nod with a small smile as we head out.

** *

Jax

I don’t see her for most of the next day. The guys don’t bring her up again either, which I guess I should be grateful for, but all I can think about is the way I’d torn her apart without even blinking.

By the time the bell rings for the end of the day, I still haven’t figured out how to fix it.

I thought maybe if I saw her in the hallway, I’d have a chance to explain.

The moment I step outside, there she is.

She’s standing by her locker, talking to Cali, laughing about something, but the second her eyes find mine, it is like everything freezes.

She stops, that smile slipping for just a fraction of a second before she forces it back. Her beautiful blue-violet eyes glazing over and turning icy.

I take a step forward, but she doesn’t move, doesn’t even look at me as she grabs her bag. Cali gives me this look, like she knows exactly what happened, and it hits me hard, the way they both seem to silently agree to ignore me.

“Hey,” I call, trying to sound normal, but my voice cracks, like I’m already apologizing, and I haven’t even said anything yet.

She doesn’t stop walking. She doesn’t even slow down.

I stand there, frozen, watching her disappear down the hall.

It feels like I’m suffocating, like every breath is an inch closer to the truth I can’t escape.

I ruined this. I ruined her. And no matter how many times I try to apologize, I know it won’t change the fact that I broke something that can never be fixed.

** *

Nova

I am going to fucking strangle him, telling people I am a head-case and not worth the time. What the fuck! I walk over to Cali’s for a much needed girl’s night. She’s been down recently and hasn’t talked to me about what is going on, so I’m hoping we can talk all the things out.

I burst through the front door, shutting it closed behind me with a grin. “Hey girl, where are you?”

“Hi bestie!” Cali’s voice floats in from the kitchen. “I’m making us some crack cookies for our official bitch and rant session!”

I pause in the hallway. “Wait— crack cookies ?”

She laughs, full-on giggles. “YES. Chocolate chip cookies with Ruffles mixed in. Gooey, salty-sweet perfection. I swear, they’re addictive. Hence the name.”

“Hold up,” I say, walking into the kitchen with my eyebrows raised. “You’re putting potato chips in cookies?”

“Not just any potato chips, babe— Ruffles ,” she says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “They’re the best. Just trust me. These are the ultimate girl’s night, cookie-fueled vent session snacks.”

She slides the tray into the oven, still laughing, and I’m already way too curious about how these salty-sweet little chaos cookies are going to taste.

“Come on, let’s go change while they bake!” she says, heading upstairs.

I duck into the half bath and change into my penguin pajama set—tank top, tiny super soft shorts. Cali’s got on the flamingo version I got her, so we’re basically an adorable sleepover team. By the time we make it back downstairs, the entire house smells like heaven.

We grab the cookies (which are, no joke, amazing ) and sprawl out in the living room, surrounded by our messy pile of DVDs and throw blankets. I reach for another cookie, because wow, she wasn’t lying, and glance over at Cali as I do .

She’s laughing at some stupid rom-com trailer, but something catches my eye.

Her shorts have ridden up a bit, and I notice the cuts and scars on her thighs. Some are healing, others... not so much.

My smile falters for a second.

But I say nothing, yet.

I just sit there, holding the cookie in my hand, the sweetness turning just a little bittersweet.

“What’s that from?” I ask, nodding to her legs.

“Nothing.” She covers her legs with the blanket.

“That doesn’t look like nothing, that looks like you cut yourself, more than once and not as an accident. Want to talk about it?”

“Have you ever had your head feel so heavy, so full of noise and static that you can’t think, can’t breathe?

” Cali’s voice is low, almost a whisper, like she’s afraid the walls might be listening.

“And then, just the smallest bit of pain cuts through it. Just enough to feel something real. Something that’s mine .

It’s like everything else fades out for a second, and I can finally breathe.

So I keep doing it. Just enough to get that one breath. ”

She doesn’t look at me. Her eyes are fixed on some invisible point far away, shame and something deeper, something broken, just under the surface.

My heart drops into my stomach. “What made you feel that way?” I ask, gently.

She doesn’t answer right away. Just keeps twisting the edge of the blanket in her hands, her knuckles white. A tear falls from her chin, silent, heavy.

“Cali, please. Talk to me. Let me help. Or help you find someone who can.”

Her laugh is hollow. Empty. “There’s no helping me, Nova.

I’ve already tried. Everyone I’ve told, every single adult knows what’s happening.

They just pretend not to see it.” Her voice shakes, and the tears come faster, but she keeps talking, like she’s trying to get it out before she breaks.

“This town, it’s rotten. All these powerful men in suits and uniforms, acting like they own everything.

Like they own us . And they’re monsters.

Real ones. They smile in public and destroy girls like me behind closed doors. ”

She finally looks at me, eyes rimmed red, her voice flat now. “At least this pain? This pain I give myself. That’s mine . It’s not some man’s hands. It’s not something stolen from me. I can control it. I can choose it.”

I feel sick. Frozen. My heart bleeding and torn from listening to her. This is the truth that I’ve been feeling here, the creepiness that radiates from my stepfather and his friends.

“I just need to make it until I’m eighteen,” she says, voice barely more than a whisper. “Three more years. Maybe they’ll get bored before then.”

Then, just like that, she wipes her face and forces a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “Anyway. Let’s talk about Jax’s drama and what we’re going to do before you move. I need the distraction.”

I sit there in shock, fury curling low in my gut, but she won’t say more. Every time I try to ask about what she’s said, she closes herself off again like a door slamming shut. She’s done talking. But I’m not done hearing her.

I will find out who’s hurting her. I don’t care how deep this town’s rot goes. Even after I move, this will be what I do to help her.

I glance at her, laughing over something she doesn’t really care about, and all I can think is, I wish I could take her with me when I leave.

Because I don’t think she’ll survive here much longer on her own.