Page 7 of Beautifully Broken

Blaire

As the warm shower water rains down on me, I can’t help but wish I were anywhere else.

It’s been two weeks since Ezra and I spoke. The moment my life was sent into a tailspin and I felt as if I had no control over my own body was the last time I allowed myself to speak to the man that used to be mine.

He has made his presence known in every corner of this penthouse. Even if he isn’t in the room with me, I feel as if he is watching me. It wouldn’t surprise me if he had cameras all over, including in the bathroom.

Ezra has changed in so many ways, but somehow I can still see the man I once loved lurking behind those light eyes. Love that is now replaced with hatred.

He is still blunt and somehow carefree despite his less-than-rational way of approaching life.

Even with spending a decade apart, the boy who used to numb himself with copious amounts of drugs to hide the pain of life is still there.

Yet, something drastic has changed in him. Maybe it’s because he is now sober, and most of our relationship was when he was using? I don’t know what changed him or what his life has been like since the last day I saw him. Whatever it is, it can’t be good.

The rare times that I have allowed myself to look at him, I can see worry, stress and lack of sleep. Every time I have to kick myself for feeling an ounce of sympathy for him or the dire urge to climb him like a tree.

I never imagined Ezra James could get more attractive, but I was wrong.

His trimmed dark hair with lines shaved on the side of his head somehow makes his light eyes shine brighter.

And those damn tattoos. Every visible piece of his body is covered except his face.

Most of them being Ivy leaves, which I refuse to admit does things to my body I would rather not feel at this moment. Lastly, that fucking tongue piercing.

What I wouldn’t give to feel his tongue on my body. My legs squeeze together and I feel my hand drift down to rub my aching core.

I may hate him. I may want to scream at him and tell him how he ruined my fucking life. I may want to run away from this damn penthouse and start a whole new life. But without Carson’s concoction being injected into me every day, my mind has found other ways to fill that space.

The main focus, glaring at Ezra while he walks around the penthouse in only his underwear. Occasionally winking at me and running that damn piercing over his lip.

My hand brushes against my clit at the vision of that fucking piercing, and I bite my lip to hold back a moan.

Pleasure radiates over my entire body as I work my clit. The warm water overhead hits my nipples at just the right angle.

Suddenly, an alarm sounds somewhere in the bedroom and ice fills my veins. My head falls back against the tile and I let out a frustrated sigh.

Time for my meds.

I step out of the shower and briefly glance in the mirror before shrugging on the fluffy robe hanging on a warming rack.

Stupid rich asshole.

Every day, like clockwork, medications to curb the cravings for drugs I never wanted in the first place, but were forced upon me, are delivered to my bedside. The first few days, I refused to take it, but when withdrawal reared its ugly head, I knew I had no choice.

Taking one last look at the girl in the mirror that I wish I knew, but don’t, I make my way into the bedroom and toss the pills into my mouth.

The sun shines high in the sky and I’m about to head out to the terrace when I hear Ezra’s hushed tone from the other room.

Quietly, I creep into the living room and when I don’t see him; I follow his voice into the kitchen.

In nothing but his skin tight boxers, he sits at the kitchen island. His fingers pull at his hair, and he lets out a sigh .

The portrait of shattered glass giving way to a man screaming covered in branches, covers his back. The muscles tense and he mutters, “Andi. I cannot tell you more. I’m already fucking everything up with Blaire. I cannot take uncertain risks right now.”

Who the hell is this Andi guy and why is he constantly talking to him?

Every conversation he has, he mentions Andi. I have tried to connect the dots, but I can’t. I blame my body still being in recovery from almost dying for the lack of ability to form a sensible thought.

The truth is still plain as day. Ezra left and did what he thought was best for me at the time. And now, whatever his life is today, I simply do not belong, despite the writing all over his body that says otherwise.

“Andi, honey. I need to go check on Blaire. I will check in later.”

My heart drops and anger fills every ounce of my body.

This two faced asshole.

From the moment I opened my eyes, Ezra made it clear he was here to reclaim what was his, when in reality, he has been playing a double life.

Nothing makes sense, and everything seems to be one big lie. My hands begin to shake and I spin on my heel, making my way to the front door.

I tug on the metal handle and a loud beep echoes throughout the foyer.

“Fuck!”

I slam my fist against the fingerprint scanner and lean my head against the door.

Ezra has the entire penthouse guarded and locked with infrared scanners. Making my escape impossible.

Footsteps sound behind me and I glance over my shoulder to see Ezra staring at me with a confused look on his face.

“Stub your toe, Ivy?”

Taking a deep breath, I square my shoulders, cross my arms over my chest, and glare at him.

Ezra’s head tilts back and he lets out a frustrated sigh before scrubbing his hand down his face.

Concern and annoyance fall over his face.

“C’mon, Ivy. Enough with the damn silent treatment.

For fuck’s sake, punch me or even stab me.

Scream until your voice is raw. Give me something other than silence.

I know you hate me. I know you have a lot of feelings going on in that beautiful brain of yours.

So let me hear it. Please. I can’t take the silence anymore. ”

He’s right. I do hate him. Maybe I will stab him? But not today. Because that’s exactly what he wants. And he isn’t in a place to be making demands. Not after he left me for dead.

I need to go back to my room, but my feet remain frozen to the floor. My attention locks on the glass floor to ceiling wall that gives way to the terrace.

My lips turn upward as an idea pops into my head.

It may be crazy, but I was never one to make good decisions. Look at who I fell in love with once upon a delusional daydream.

My hands move to the tie on my robe and I watch as Ezra’s eyes track the movement.

Good EJ.

I allow the plush fabric to fall to the floor, leaving me completely bare in front of him.

Ezra’s mouth opens, but I put my hand up and walk past him.

Just as my hand reaches the sliding glass door, I glance over my shoulder.

Ezra’s face is red and his hands are balled into fists.

I make an obvious track with my eyes down his body to his erection, peeking out the top of his boxers.

Letting out a small laugh, I wave. “Tell Andi I said hi.”

Not waiting for his reaction, I slide open the door and step outside.

The sun shines down, warming my body from head to toe as I head straight for the glass railing.

I hear footsteps behind me, but I pay him no mind.

Ezra James may have changed, but so have I.

I have been waiting for years to finally be the real me. Not this subdued version, who was a slave to my brother.

This situation may be temporary and everything could change tomorrow, but at least I can say I finally saw a glimpse of the Blaire that I once knew. Even if it is motivated by an ugly green monster.