Page 67 of Beautifully Broken

Nova

Undergrad goes by in a blur, four years of cramming knowledge into my brain as fast and hard as I can.

Jax, Van, and I all end up at the same university, surprisingly enough.

We even end up in the same criminal justice program, though each of us take a different path within it.

I double-major in criminal justice and biology with a concentration in forensics.

It keeps me buried in labs, research papers, and study groups.

Honestly, it also makes it incredibly easy to avoid Jax.

We might be going to the same school, but our lives never overlap. Not anymore.

I don’t date. I don’t party. But I’m not completely joyless. Van and I stay close—our version of fun is more low-key: movie nights, takeout, weird popcorn flavors I discover during that girl’s trip to Wintervale Mom drags me on. It isn’t loud fun, but it’s comfortable. Safe. Real.

Cali and I keep in touch, though not as much as I would like.

She stayed behind, went to a community college and now just volunteering until she is married off.

I tried for the past two years to get her to visit, hell, even to consider moving here but it’s like she’s stuck.

Trapped. Every time we talk, there’s something off in her voice.

Distant. Hollow. The brightness she used to have is gone.

Completely. Even in her photos, she’s smiling in designer dresses at charity events or political dinners with the senator she is dating.

Her eyes look dead. Like she’s just disappearing.

Last time I visited her Van came along and it hit me hard. She drinks more now. And I’m almost certain she’s using prescription meds to keep life numbed out. I don’t even think she’s hiding it anymore. She’s fading, and no one seems to notice or care.

When I tried to talk to her mom about what was going on with Cali, she just brushed it off. That Cali was happy and I should stop trying to ruin her life.

I tried to ask my mom, hoping she would actually listen, instead she gave me some bullshit about how Cali’s life is “finally stable” and that “if she wasn’t happy, she wouldn’t be dating the senator or helping run his campaign.” As if that somehow means she’s okay.

But the senator she’s “dating”? He’s ancient.

At least old enough to be her dad, probably her grandfather.

I remember what she told me back in high school, about how those powerful men liked their women young.

Girls who were easy to mold, easy to silence.

Guess he couldn’t risk being seen with an actual teenager if he’s running for president.

A barely legal girlfriend is easier to spin as “elegant” or “charming.” Safer for headlines. Less horrifying.

I can’t shake the feeling that these men, my stepfather and his friends included, have been grooming girls like her for years. Maybe even longer.

Cali and I have talked about it. I tried to bring it up gently, but she shut me down.

She refuses to go into details or names of who has hurt her.

I know things have been bad but she just buries it.

Told me to stay out of her relationship.

Said she was “fine.” But the way she said it?

It was like she didn’t even believe it herself.

I finally started digging. There are articles calling her the new Cinderella story, “saved” from a modest background and transformed into this perfect lady.

Always on the senator’s arm, always polished, always silent.

I just don’t recognize her anymore. The images of her from social events on his arm show a perfect doll, glazed eyes, designer gowns, hair and makeup impeccable.

I’m afraid I’m losing the Cali I know and love.

I’m not sure I can save her alone. I don’t even know how to reach her. But I know this: I won’t stop trying.

** *

Grad school has been a wild ride of studying, research, and my thesis.

This semester has been a painful experience.

Classes, studying, labs, and late nights writing.

I’m not sure how I’ve survived, but it’s my last lab of the semester and then winter break.

Van and I have barely seen each other these last twelve weeks.

If I wasn’t in class or studying, he was in class or with Jax.

We’re planning a winter getaway together, a chance to spend time with each other and relax.

Hopefully, this vacation will give us a chance to get closer.

There have been more looks and touches between us, each one making me want more.

Van is studying for his masters in ethical hacking and cybercrime.

I’m focused on my forensic studies and getting into my doctorate program.

I will intern with the police after I finish my master’s and hope to do an internship with the FBI when I am halfway through my doctorate.

Classes have been my primary focus, and my only social life is spending time with Van.

He has become my best friend, my everything, and I can’t think of ever living without him by my side.

I meet Van for lunch and as he pulls out my chair in the café, he leans in to kiss my cheek, but I turn and his lips touch mine.

“Hi baby doll, how’s your morning been?” he asks as I look over the menu. Trying to decide if I want to stay healthy with a salad or stress eat some mozzarella sticks.

“I survived. Ask again tonight? Am I still coming to your place and crashing into your bed?”

“You are always welcome at my place, you know that, but I should warn you that Jax will be there.”

They share a house together. “Nope, my apartment with the bitch roommate is better than seeing that asshole.”

“Doll, you’ll see him eventually. We are all working in the same general field. He may be part of a crime scene you have.”

I shrug and decide on the grilled chicken salad and mozzarella sticks because I can be healthy and stress eat, fuck the haters .

“I can be professional, and I can also work at a different force than him and avoid any interactions.” Turning as the waiter arrives, I give him my order and look at my phone while waiting for Van to finish.

Van gets a burger and fries because he doesn’t need to look like he can handle himself against men bigger than him.

He has that lean runner’s physique. I hate the fact that women are thought to be weaker; I know all the pressure points on the human body and can take a man double my size down with a finger.

“Are you ready for our trip this coming week? I am ready to let my mind wander and rest before I finish this thesis and start the doctorate program.” I ask Van while we eat.

“You mean am I ready to have you to myself with no distractions? Hell yes. Do you know what movies or activities you want to do?” he says with a smile.

Laughing, I reply “I haven’t thought of anything but relaxing. I saw there is a hot tub, so I am going to be in that with a bottle of Moscato one night for sure.”

“Does this mean you are leaving all the planning to me?” Van asks, knowing how much of a control freak I am.

“Yup, my plan includes no decision making.” I tell him with a smile. My imagination definitely has plans that involve him naked, but that is fantasy.