Page 6 of Beautifully Broken

Ezra

Blaire stares at me with nothing but hatred written on her beautiful face.

Leaning against the doorframe, I allow my gaze to move over her body. “What’s the matter, Ivy? The bed not to your liking?”

She lets out an exasperated sigh and falls back to rest against the headboard. “Where am I, Ezra? And why the hell does it feel like I have a damn swimming pool inside my head?”

Fuck. That damn sass. It brought me to my knees when I was a horny teenager, and that hasn’t changed a decade later.

Not now, asshat.

Pushing off the door, I move to sit on the edge of the bed. Everything in me wants to be close to her. My body aches to feel her skin against mine, but right now, she looks like she wants to punch me again, so I will give her a break. For now.

A look of hatred falls over her.

“C’mon, Ivy. Don’t give me that look. You loved me once. Remember?”

Blaire crosses her arms over her chest and glances to the ceiling and lets out a frustrated sigh. Returning her gaze to mine, her voice is firm and void of emotion. “I am not dignifying that statement with a response until you answer my questions, Ezra.”

I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself in check.

She doesn’t know what you have been through over the past decade, Ezra. She doesn’t understand that you had no choice.

I run my tongue piercing along the top of my mouth and take a deep breath.

I know she isn’t going to believe a single word I am about to say, but I know she won’t let me touch her if I don’t tell her the truth.

If I can’t touch her, I can’t help her get better and in turn, protect her from the monsters lying just beyond the penthouse walls.

“You passed out when I killed Tank. I knew if Tank was there, the rest of Carson’s minions weren’t far behind. So I did what I had to do to get you to safety.”

Her cheeks heat, and it feels as if she is shooting daggers at me with her fiery stare. “What exactly did you do to get me here? Wherever the hell here is.”

“I did what I needed to do, Blaire.” Standing up, I make my way to the window stretching from floor to ceiling and push back the curtains, giving her a clear view of Central Park. “Welcome to the city that never sleeps, Ivy.”

Blaire momentarily gets lost in the rainy cityscape. But it doesn't last long. “What. Did. You. Give. Me?” she says, through gritted teeth.

Fuck. I’m in trouble.

“Propofol. It induces a deep—”

Blaire sits up and tries to move but can’t.

It will take a few days for all the medication and trauma from almost dying multiple times for her to fully recuperate.

“You’re just like him! I–I need to get out of here. I can’t do this!” Before I can stop her, she flings her body to the side. She attempts to catch herself on her hands, but her arms give out, sending her crumbling into the hardwood floor.

I’m at her side in seconds.

“Ivy. Are you okay?” The second my hands touch her shoulder, she screams and scoots backwards to wedge herself between the nightstand and bookshelf.

I throw my hands up in surrender. It feels as if a knife just stabbed me right in the chest at the sight in front of me.

My once brave and full of life, keeper of my damaged heart, looks like a shell of her former self.

It’s my fault.

Her entire body shakes and I sit on the floor in front of her, giving her plenty of space so she doesn’t feel trapped.

Scrubbing my tattooed hand down my face, my eyes cast downward. “I’m sorry. If I had any other choice, I would have kept you awake. But the stress was killing you. I had to get you out of that hospital. You were a sitting duck. I know I fucked up but—”

“Why?”

My attention snaps to her. “Why what?”

Blaire curls her arms tighter around her scrunched body, her hands shaking as she asks, “Why did you leave?”

I knew this was coming.

Sitting up straight, I level my gaze with hers.

“I had no choice. It was either I leave or you die.” Blaire’s dark green eyes go wide and I continue.

“Carson overheard our conversation that day on the picnic table and said if I didn’t leave and never speak to you again, he was going to kill you and make me watch as he did it. ”

Panic rises in my chest, but I push it down.

“I was no good for you back then, Ivy. I was addicted to heroin and countless other drugs. I know you had hopes of helping me get sober, but I knew the probability was low. That shit fucks with your head and withdrawal is one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced.

But I loved you, still do, so I did what I thought was best. I thought I was doing what was best for you. I thought—”

Tears flow down Blaire’s face, and her cheeks turn a new shade of red. “You left me with that monster.”

“I—” Blaire shakes her head and faces me.

“No. I don’t give a fuck what you thought was best. Because you knew what Carson was capable of.”

“I—”

“Enough Ezra! You left me to die!” Her entire body shakes, and I feel like my heart is being ripped out because of the pained look on her beautiful face.

“You left me alone with that devil of a human to do what? Chase a fucking high because you weren’t ready to be sober? Well, hate to break it to you, but you might as well have stuck around and had him kill me. Because that’s exactly what the past decade has felt like.”

Blaire takes a deep breath, her chest rising and falling at a concerning speed.

Her voice is shaky as she continues. “I am addicted to god knows what Carson has been stabbing me with every day to keep me in line. I have scars and nightmares that will haunt me for the rest of my pathetic life. And it’s because the person who I loved more than anything abandoned me. ”

“I’m sorry, Ivy. I had no idea.”

“I don’t want to hear anything from you. Thank you for getting me out of that town, but the second I’m able to walk on my own, I'm getting the hell out of here.”

No the fuck she isn’t.

“I don’t think that is the best idea, Ivy.”

Blaire wipes away a tear and rolls her eyes. “I don’t give a fuck what you think. You lost your chance ten years ago to have any say in my life.”

I open my mouth to say something, but words fail me as the telltale signs of my body going into full panic start to work their way up my throat. It feels as if the room is closing in around me and all I see is Ivy sitting in front of me, disgust written all over her face.

Not now, Ezra. You cannot break. She needs you.

Blaire reaches her hand out for me and I try to hide the hiccup in my chest as the air slowly escapes my lungs.

“Help me to the bed. I want to try to sleep off the last of the drugs so I can leave.”

I go to argue, but she glares at me.

I nod and slip my arms under her knees and around her back.

Slowly, I stand and I can’t help but suck in a breath at the feeling of her body pressed against mine. Just like it should have been for all these years.

I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop my emotions from getting the best of me.

Gently, I set her on the bed and step away as she moves under the covers.

“Shut the curtains and go back to whoever you were talking to. Make sure to tell them you will be back to work soon, since the situation occupying your time no longer requires your assistance.”

“Blaire—”

She lets out an exhausted breath and shakes her head. “Please. Just get out Ezra.”

A million words fly through my head, but I don’t say a single one. I simply back away, close the curtains, and quietly slip out of the room .

Mindlessly, I walk out to the rooftop balcony and stare down at the city below me.

Blaire is an open target, even under my protection.

He is coming, and I know he is just waiting for me to drop my guard a millimeter.

“I’m sorry, Ivy. I know you hate me, but I cannot let you go. I lost you once to my own stupidity. And I’ll be damned if I let you slip through my fingers again.”