Page 41 of Anyone But Me

“Okay, we need a rule about sex for this weekend,” Jax said as we both lay breathless in her bed. “Because this feels very productive.”

“Are you saying you don’t want to have sex with me this weekend?” I teased.

Jax chuckled. “I’m saying, as hard as it will be, I think we should hold off until Sunday night.”

“That’s a long time.” I really meant it, which was crazy when I hadn’t had sex in years before Jax and I started hooking up.

“I believe in us.” A wild smile came onto Jax’s face. “Plus, this is my way of making sure you don’t try to prepare for the week on Sunday night. If I withhold sex for two days, you’ll definitely choose taking off my clothes over picking out your own.”

“Sounding pretty cocky, Miss Michaels.”

Jax put her arms around me and pulled me close to her. “It’s called confidence, sweetie.”

I leaned into her, the smile naturally coming to my face in response to my body against hers. “So, what’s the plan for this non-productive weekend?” I asked. It was only Saturday morning, and everything I could think of to do either involved sex or some sort of to-do list.

“Nope.”

Okay, now I was confused. I might have been in a sex-filled haze, but I knew I hadn’t asked a yes or no question. “That’s not an answer.”

“It’s actually the perfect answer. There will be no planning this weekend. We will go wherever the wind takes us.”

“Lately, the wind only seems to take us to one of our beds,” I joked, my body heating up just at the thought of sex.

“Not true. It’s also taken us to the couch a few times,” Jax said smugly.

I had to squeeze my legs together when the thought of Jax going down on me on the couch the night before popped into my mind. “Speaking of the couch, maybe we could watch a movie.” That seemed like a somewhat safe option. Keyword: Somewhat.

“Works for me. Clothes or no clothes?”

My stomach did somersaults when I pictured us sitting on the couch watching a movie naked, which meant there was only one right answer. And it certainly wasn’t the one I wanted to give. “Unfortunately, I think we’re going to have to wear clothes if we want to stick to our no-sex rule.”

“Perfect. I was hoping you’d say that.” Jax pulled away from me and jumped up from the bed.

I had no idea what was happening as she ran across the room and opened the top drawer of her dresser.

She picked up a few things then pulled out some clothes.

When she walked back over to the bed and set them down, I found that it was two sets of matching pajamas with Santa and elves on them.

Seeing the pajamas reminded me that Christmas was less than a week away.

I couldn’t believe I had forgotten that.

I was so unprepared, I still had shopping to do.

Normally, this would stress me out, but right now, all I could focus on were the two sets of pajamas sitting on the bed. Two.

“Are these for us?” I asked even though I already knew the answer. It was like every time I thought my feelings for Jax couldn’t possibly get any better, she did something else that was so incredibly sweet, my feelings grew tenfold.

Jax moved her eyes around the room. “There’s no one else here, so I’d say they are.”

“None for Speck?” I joked.

“I don’t know.” Jax shrugged, but nodded toward her bedroom door. “Maybe you should see for yourself.”

What? No way! I jumped from the bed just like Jax had a minute ago, and ran out of her room. Sure enough, there was Speck, sitting on the couch, wearing the dog version of the same pajamas. I laughed out loud at the sight in front of me. This was absolutely perfect.

An arm wrapped around my waist and Jax held me tightly. “Like your surprise?”

“Like it?” I laughed again. “I absolutely love it. Let’s get ours on.”

Once we had our pajamas on, we took our usual spots on the couch and cuddled close together with Speck lying across our laps.

Since we were already dressed for the occasion, we figured it was only right to watch a cheesy Christmas movie.

Luckily, given the time of year, there were a ton on TV, so we easily found one.

“What are your feelings on grand gestures?” I asked Jax when the movie was nearing the end and one character showed up at the other’s event and confessed their love in front of the whole crowd.

“Oh, I’m all about grand gestures. The bigger the better if you ask me.”

“That doesn’t shock me one bit.”

“How about you?”

I shook my head. “Not so much. I’m more so a fan of the little things.” Like surprise Christmas pajamas.

“And that doesn’t shock me.”

When that movie ended, we watched the one that followed as well. By the time the second movie was over, it could barely be heard over my growling stomach.

Jax shut off the TV, then turned toward me. “Since you’re clearly hungry, what do you say we each grab a book and head to the cafe? We can grab a bite to eat there and read a little bit, then head back here and read some more.”

This girl really knew the way to my heart. Did it really get any better than coffee, food, and books? There was only one problem. “That sounds amazing, but I really don’t want to take off these pajamas.”

“Then don’t. We’ll wear them to the cafe.”

I laughed, because I couldn’t believe she had really just suggested that. “You want to walk through New York City in our pajamas?”

Jax narrowed her eyes at me as if I was crazy, making me think maybe I had misunderstood what she said. “Of course not. It’s freezing outside. I want to Uber through New York City in our pajamas.”

“To the place where you work? You’re one of the managers. Is that really the best look?”

Jax shrugged as if it was no big deal. “It’s my day off. As long as I’m not breaking the law, it’s really none of their business what I do with my time.”

While I knew she had a point, I couldn’t bring myself to think that way. This was Jax’s choice to make though, and even though I felt a little strange about taking on the city in my pajamas, I hated the thought of getting changed even more. “Fine. Let’s do it.”

The ride to the cafe went smoothly, and I was surprised to find that no one really gave us a second look in our pajamas, except for Jax’s coworkers of course, but they simply made fun of her then moved on.

Once we had our sandwiches and coffee, I pulled the book I was currently reading out of my bag, along with a few others I had brought along for Jax.

“This cover is beautiful,” Jax said as she picked up one of the Laurel Lake books my mom had designed the cover to.

“I’m glad you think so.” I tapped the cover. “My mom did that.”

Jax looked at me with wide eyes and a slightly agape mouth. “She did this ? I knew she was good when I saw your tattoo design, but this is a whole other level. Holy shit.”

I nodded in agreement, a feeling of pride settling in my heart. “She’s really amazing. That’s why I want her to design the cover for my book if I ever publish it.”

Jax put down the book and grabbed one of my hands with both of hers. “ When you publish it.”

When Jax talked to me like this, I really believed I could do anything. If she had this much confidence in me, I needed to have at least a little bit in myself. “ When I publish it,” I repeated.

“Good girl.” Jax dropped my hand and grabbed the same book once again. “I’m definitely reading this one.”

We sat on the cafe’s couch together, not much farther apart than we sat on our own couch at home. When I found myself desperate to close the last few inches between us, I put my book down. “Wanna head back to the apartment to read some more?”

Jax closed her book and squeezed my knee. “Whatever you want, I want.”

Neither of us said much on the drive home, but it was a comfortable silence.

Once we were back inside our apartment, we wordlessly settled onto the couch and started reading again.

After about an hour of reading, I found myself getting tired, so I laid my head on Jax’s shoulder.

“Don’t mind me,” I said, before letting out a long yawn.

“I never mind.” Jax closed her book and laid her head on mine.

I sighed contentedly as I fell asleep. This is what safety felt like. This is what home felt like.

When I opened my eyes again, it was completely dark outside.

I fumbled around for my phone, and when I found it, I realized we had been asleep for almost two hours.

When I had removed my head from Jax’s shoulder, hers had naturally fallen onto my shoulder without even waking her up.

I watched her sleep and listened to her almost inaudible little snores.

I could have stayed like this forever, watching every little twitch of her nose and each small smile, but she soon woke up.

“What time is it?” she said through a yawn.

My stomach growled before I could answer her question, causing us both to laugh. “Clearly, it’s dinner time.”

“So, what are we ordering?” Jax asked. When I gave her a pointed look, she shook her head. “Absolutely not. Cooking is productive.”

I rolled my eyes at her. She was getting carried away with everything she found productive.

Soon, she was probably going to say we couldn’t get up to go to the bathroom because emptying our bladders was too productive.

“In that case, let’s do pizza. We can eat it right out of the box.

That way, we’re not being too productive by grabbing plates. ”

“See!” Jax slapped the couch excitedly. “Now you’re getting it.”

The rest of the night was filled with snuggles, pizza, and more movies, and I had to admit, I might be able to get used to not being productive every once in a while.

When it was time for bed, I hesitated because I wasn’t sure what to do.

Most nights Jax and I fell asleep together, but that was because we had sex first. At this point, I didn’t know how I would fall asleep if I wasn’t wrapped in her arms, but I wasn’t sure if it was okay to ask to sleep together when we weren’t sleeping together .

“Your room or mine?” Jax asked when she walked out of the bathroom after doing her nighttime routine.

Okay. Apparently, she doesn’t have the same reservations as me. Good to know. “Let’s do my room. Yours was the last place we had sex. I’m afraid that will tempt me.”

Jax raised an eyebrow at me and smirked. “Is this your way of admitting that you find me irresistible?”

I walked over to Jax and playfully smacked her shoulder. “Just shut up and snuggle me.”

“As you wish.”

After I did my nighttime routine, I went into my bedroom, where Jax was already snuggled under the covers with Speck lying at her feet. Jax looked at Speck, then at me. “I figured it was fine to let him sleep in here tonight, since there’s no funny business going on anyway.”

I smiled at Speck, who looked so content lying in my bed. “We should plan out more nights like this, so he doesn’t always end up being forced to sleep on the couch.”

“If you didn’t tire me out so badly every time, I could go get him once our fun was done, but you make it so I can’t even move.”

Now, I was the one who couldn’t move. If I did, the electrical current running through my body from thinking about all of the ways I could make Jax too stiff to move, might become too hard to contain. “You can’t talk to me like that. Not until tomorrow night. Please. ”

“Fine. A republican is president.”

“Yep. Moment ruined. Good job.”

When I got underneath the covers, I suddenly wasn’t tired, which I guess wasn’t too hard to believe since I’d barely done anything all day.

Jax must have felt the same way, because instead of cuddling close to me, she rolled onto her side to face me. “Are you tired?”

I rolled onto my side as well. “Not really.”

“Me either.” Jax reached out and took my hand in hers. She ran her thumb along the back of my hand as she stared down at our interlocked fingers. “How many kids do you want?”

This was a very intimate question for two people lying in bed together holding hands, but Jax made it sound more like a passing remark than a question into our currently non-existent future.

“I’d honestly be happy with just one. I love my siblings so much, so I hate to keep my child from having that relationship, but I really like the idea of a small, tight-knit family.

” I tried to prepare myself so I could keep my voice level to ask her my question, but it was hard when there was so much more to our relationship than either of us were acknowledging. “What about you? Do you want kids?”

Jax nodded. “One or two would be good. I definitely wouldn’t want more than that.

I can’t imagine being outnumbered by my kids.

I liked what you said about a small, tight-knit family.

It reminds me of my family. There were a few times when I was really young that I thought I wanted a sibling, but I really liked being the only child.

I felt like I got a piece of my parents that other people don’t get, because I wasn’t sharing them with anyone else.

I don’t know if that actually makes any sense. ”

I squeezed her hand. “It makes perfect sense to me.”

Jax stared into my eyes, and I could feel the tension building around us. It was as if the walls were closing in on us the longer we stayed lost in each other’s eyes. I wanted to run away, but there was also nowhere else I wanted to be more than right here with Jax.

“Carter, I…”

I was pretty sure Jax had stopped herself mid-sentence, but my heart was beating so hard in my chest, I couldn’t be sure.

She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but as far as I could tell, she wasn’t saying any words. Is this it? Is this the moment we both admit what’s actually happening between us?

“I really enjoyed today. The sex has been amazing these past few weeks, but spending the day with you doing absolutely nothing was just as great.” She picked up our interlocked hands and brought them to her mouth to kiss my knuckles.

It might not have been a confession of feelings, but god, this was even better. “I really hope it’s the same for you.”

“It is.”

The words we weren’t saying floated between us as we held each other tight, as if we were both afraid of what would happen if we ever let go.