Page 28 of Anyone But Me

On Wednesday, I could barely focus on my work.

All I could think about was Jax sitting at the dog park, chatting up countless women, and inevitably finding at least one she clicked with.

She was Jax, after all. I wasn’t even sure straight women were immune to her charm.

All day, I went between chastising myself for not having the nerve to tell Jax how I felt and trying to convince myself that this was a good thing.

Jax would meet someone else, and while she was distracted, I could distance myself enough to calm these growing feelings, and the two of us could continue to be close friends.

Telling Jax my feelings would have been a colossal mistake anyway.

Even if she felt the same way now, she would eventually get bored of me.

Marcie and I had been so similar. Our goals, dreams, and aspirations were perfectly aligned.

She enjoyed many of the same things I did.

Yet, in the end, I still wasn’t good enough for her.

Jax had so much going for her. She was outgoing, gorgeous, and the life of every party.

There was no reason for her to be interested in me now, so the chances of keeping her interest were very slim.

At the end of the day, I slammed my computer shut and rubbed my temples.

“Rough day?” a voice asked from behind me, causing me to jump in my seat.

I turned to find Annika standing behind me. I forced out a tired smile. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Anything you want to talk about?”

It seemed like she was opening the door for me to vent, but I wasn’t sure if she was asking in a work capacity.

The last thing I wanted was to start rambling about my feelings for my roommate who just happened to be my sister’s best friend when she was expecting me to tell her about the problems with our operating system.

“I’m good. Thank you, though. I really appreciate it. ”

Annika stared at me for a few seconds while rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

“Well, that’s an ongoing offer, so if you ever want to talk, just let me know.

” Annika turned and took two steps before spinning back around.

“I’m here for anything you want to talk about.

” She disappeared away from my desk before I could say anything else.

Damnit. Maybe I should have talked to her. There was no point in harping on that now. She said the offer was ongoing. If I decided I wanted to open up, I still could.

For now, as much as I didn’t want to know, I was also dying to find out how Jax’s time at the dog park went, so I packed up my things and headed home.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before walking into our apartment. With the way my heart was beating, it was as though I was walking into the Olympic Games.

As soon as I was inside, Speck jumped off of the couch and ran over to me, greeting me with a bunch of kisses as if he could sense how much I needed him.

I bent down to give him pets, and as I rubbed his stomach, I heard the door to Jax’s room open.

I looked up to find Jax already staring at me with that same look she was giving me at our picnic.

I stood up and walked over to her, trying my best to play it cool so she couldn’t read the thoughts racing through my mind. “How was your day?” I asked, careful to keep my voice as level as possible.

“It was good! It turns out, Speck loves the dog park. He made lots of friends.”

“How about you?” Be chill. “Did you like it?” I cleared my throat. “Did you make any friends?” I could have slapped myself for being such a fucking idiot.

Jax smirked. “Is this your way of not-so-subtly asking if I got someone’s number?”

“Maybe.” I flashed her my most angelic grin. Since I’d already been caught, there was no sense in lying now.

“I did. Her name is Maxine. She has a German shepherd named Hank.” Jax shrugged. “She’s cool.”

It amazed me how Jax could act so nonchalant over absolutely everything. It was as if getting someone’s number was just a normal Wednesday for her. Then again, it probably was.

I held onto my stomach, which now ached. I hated feeling this way. This was exactly why I had avoided any sort of relationship since Marcie. “That’s good.”

Silence settled between us, but unlike usual, this wasn’t a comfortable silence. This was a silence that made my skin crawl.

“Do you think you’ll text her?” I asked when I couldn’t take it anymore.

Jax shrugged once again. “We’ve been texting a little. We have plans to meet at the dog park again on Monday, because we’re both off.”

Of course they were. Bile rose in my throat as I thought about how perfect this girl probably was for Jax. I absolutely hated that I was acting this way. It wasn’t like me at all, and it certainly wasn’t how I wanted the New Carter to act.

As much as I didn’t want to, I knew the best thing for me and Jax’s friendship was if I pulled away for a little bit. I just needed to pull away enough to get rid of this stupid little crush, and then everything could go back to normal.

Simple.