Page 16 of Anyone But Me

Because we relaxed the night before, we were both up early and ready to go to the park before it even opened.

The long process of getting into Magic Kingdom didn’t seem as long or grueling with Jax by my side.

She kept me entertained with her comments about everything that we saw along the way, until we walked in and she saw the castle for the first time.

She stopped in her tracks and stared up at it. “Wow. It’s so much better in person. The pictures really don’t do it justice.”

I couldn’t take my eyes off of Jax as she stared up at the castle with awe and wonder.

It was like watching a child experience something for the first time, and I finally understood what my moms meant when they said it meant more to them if I had fun than anything else.

I wanted nothing more than for this experience to be absolutely perfect for Jax.

“You know what’s funny?” I said when I could finally find my voice. “My moms always like to tell the story of how different our reactions were the first time we saw Cinderella’s castle, and according to their story, your reaction is the same as mine was.”

“So, you were in complete awe?”

I shrugged. “Apparently. I was only two at the time, so I don’t remember.”

“Your moms brought three two-year-olds to Disney? Damn. Those ladies impress me more and more every day.”

“They are pretty great,” I said in agreement. “Apparently, Ronan jumped up and down and shouted ‘Castle’ loud enough for the whole park to hear, and Olivia just took off running so she could see it up close.”

As Jax shook her head and laughed at my story, I realized something.

She hadn’t even asked about Olivia and Ronan.

Her focus was completely on me. Olivia was her best friend, but because she was sharing this moment with me, that’s what she focused on.

I wanted to tell her how much this meant to me, but I couldn’t find the words, so I nodded toward the castle instead. “Want to get closer?”

Jax smiled at me and wiggled her eyebrows. “Hell yeah. Let’s do it.”

We saw the castle and then made our way through the rides. After eating a big lunch, we decided to take it easy, so we went on “It’s a Small World.”

Jax laughed as her eyes darted around, taking in all of the singing animatronics. “I bet this ride would be so trippy high.”

I had only ever been high once and absolutely hated it because I was convinced everyone knew (they didn’t) and were judging me (they weren’t), so I couldn’t really imagine how the ride would be if I was high.

“Do you think people actually get high at Disney World?” It was probably a dumb question, but the only thing I had to go by was my family vacations, and that was definitely not happening on those.

“For sure. Think of all of the parents here with young kids. You can’t tell me none of them do a little something to give them that extra pep in their step.”

“You know what? You might be right.”

Jax and I spent the rest of our time at the park pointing out parents that we thought were either drunk or high. We even made up stories about what circumstances led them to needing said substance, each story getting more ridiculous than the last.

By the end of the night, we were both exhausted, but Jax refused to leave until after we watched the fireworks.

I could barely stand, and it was a struggle to keep my eyes open, but watching Jax watch the fireworks made it all worthwhile.

She wore her emotions all over her face, and I was finding that was one of the things I really liked about her.

So many people our age were so guarded, including myself, but not Jax.

She didn’t hide any part of her away. It was part of what made her so beautiful.

“So beautiful.” I heard myself utter those words before I even realized what I was doing. Thank god the only light in the sky was from the fireworks because I knew my face was bright red.

“They really are, aren’t they?” Jax said, her eyes never straying from the sky.

She thinks I was talking about the fireworks. Perfect. Plus, that makes more sense anyway. Why would I be talking about her? Obviously, she’s beautiful, but I have no reason to be harping on that now when I should be enjoying the show.

As the fireworks came to an end, my phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out to find two texts from Olivia.

Olivia: You’re at Disney with Jax?! Are you trying to steal my best friend?!!

Olivia: Totally kidding. Glad you two are getting along so well.

I texted her back asking her how she knew we were in Disney, even though the answer was clear.

Olivia: Jax told me, obviously.

Olivia: I thought she was lying at first. I can’t believe she actually convinced you to leave the state right before you start your new job!

Olivia: Totally not hating. I think it’s great.

Funny. I was so distracted by all of the fun I was having on the trip that I honestly forgot I started work next week. It was odd since that wasn’t like me at all. Maybe I really was becoming a new Carter.

Jax bumped her hip against mine to get my attention. “What are you smiling about?”

I sighed contentedly. “I’m just really happy,” I admitted.

“I’m really happy too.” Jax put her arm around me and kept it there as we walked out of the park together. She didn’t let her arm drop until our rideshare came to pick us up and take us back to our hotel.

As soon as we weren’t close anymore, I found myself wishing we were.

I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I craved human contact this much.

Well, actually, I could, but I wasn’t going to let my mind go there.

I couldn’t let it go there. Jax wasn’t Marcie.

She was my roommate and my sister’s best friend.

She was bubbly and outgoing and everything I wasn’t.

I definitely wasn’t feeling what I thought I might be.

I couldn’t feel that way, so I wouldn’t let myself.

When we got back to our hotel room, I made a big deal about how tired I was so I could go right to sleep. Luckily, I actually was tired, so it didn’t take long before I really did fall asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I was feeling much better.

I was sure the closeness and comfort I was feeling with Jax was nothing more than friendship.

I hadn’t made a close friend in a very long time, so I probably just forgot what it felt like.

Plus, we were at the happiest place on earth—the birthplace of so many great fairy tales.

Of course, it was easy to blur the lines between friendship and something else.

If there was something else , which there most certainly wasn’t.

I had been so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn’t even realize Jax wasn’t in her bed until the bathroom door opened and she walked out.

She was wearing short jean shorts and a blue Disney World T-Shirt that she had bought the day before, and her hair was pulled up in a towel.

Her smile was wide, and her blue eyes sparkled when they met mine.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty. Ready for another day of fun?”

I forced my eyes away from Jax to look at the clock and realized I had slept in much later than I meant to.

At this rate, we’d be lucky if we got there two hours after opening time, which definitely put us at a disadvantage for getting on all of the rides we wanted to do. “Shit. I overslept. I’m so sorry.”

“All good. It gave me a chance to get a nice long shower, which felt amazing, by the way. Feel free to get one if you’d like. I’m not in a rush.” She sat down on the edge of my bed. “Not saying you need one. You look and smell perfectly fine.”

I didn’t want to waste any more time, but after getting so sweaty the day before, showering was a necessity. I showered and dressed as fast as I possibly could, then we finally headed to Hollywood Studios. After a few other rides, it was finally time to go on The Tower of Terror.

Jax spun around in circles, taking everything in while we walked through the line. “Wow. This looks so much like the movie.”

“Just wait. It gets even better.”

Her excitement had me bubbling with excitement and I found myself actually bouncing through the line. When we finally got through the first part of the line, we went into a room that was meant to look like a library.

We watched a video that I had watched so many times at this point, I had it memorized.

I almost forgot Jax had no idea what was going to happen, until the fake thunder and lightning hit, and she jumped into the air.

The room was so dark, I couldn’t really see what was happening, but when a hand slid into mine, our fingers interlocking, I knew it was Jax.

Obviously, it was her, because who else would it be?

But that wasn’t the only reason I knew. The feelings I was trying to ignore from the day before were now back in full force.

As much as I knew I should drop her hand, since she clearly only grabbed mine because of the jump scare, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

When the doors opened and we walked out of that room to get in the next line, I waited for her to drop my hand, but it never happened.

We continued to hold hands all the way up until getting on the ride, which was made to look like an old elevator. Jax dropped my hand to fasten her seatbelt, but I didn’t have time to miss her touch, because she quickly grabbed it once again.

“This is kind of spooky, isn’t it?” she asked as she squeezed my hand harder.

“What did you expect?” I forced out a laugh, because I didn’t want to give her any clue about the effect her hand in mine was having on me.

“Good point.” Jax laughed too, but her laughter didn’t sound forced at all.

Throughout the ride, I found myself watching Jax instead of the scene in front of us.

I loved the way she took in absolutely everything.

It was a mesmerizing sight to see. I was so distracted by her that I was taken by surprise when the first drop happened, and I squeezed Jax's hand extra hard at the same time she squeezed mine.

We both screamed and laughed together as the ride shot up and down a few more times.

When the doors opened signaling the end of the ride, we both continued to sit there for a moment.

For my part, I wasn’t ready to let go. I didn’t actually know what Jax’s reasoning was.

After some time, she was the one to disconnect our hands.

She stood and skipped off of the ride as if the moment hadn’t happened at all.

Of course she did. Because it didn’t mean anything.

She was scared and grabbed my hand. That was all.

I kept reminding myself of this the rest of the day whenever the thought of her hand in mine popped back into my mind.

When we were waiting for our ride back to the hotel, Jax looked at me with a serious expression on her face. “You know, there’s a pretty big elephant in the room that we haven’t addressed at all on this trip.”

I swallowed hard. Was she actually talking about what I thought she was? Had she also been thinking about the way our hands felt clamped tightly together?

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” I asked, playing dumb.

Jax’s lips broke into a smile, and she rolled her eyes playfully at me.

“Your job, of course! You start on Monday and you haven’t mentioned it at all.

How are you feeling? Excited? Nervous? Confident?

You better be feeling that last one, because you’re going to kill it, and I hope you realize that. ”

It took me a moment to catch up with everything she had just said, partially because she was talking so fast, but an even bigger part because it was not what I expected her to say at all. I was such an idiot.

“I’m… um, pretty nervous,” I said once I remembered how to speak. “This is a huge deal, and the company really put themselves on the line by hiring me. There were definitely candidates with many more years of experience than I have.”

“Yet, they saw something in you .” Jax poked my chest. “Don’t you realize how cool that is?

I bet there was some middle-aged man that applied and assumed he had the job in the bag, but the people in charge of hiring wanted you.

You’re special, and the sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be. ”

“Do you really mean that?” Her sweet words had me fighting back tears.

“Are you kidding?” Jax’s voice became louder with every word. “Of course I mean it. I realize I don’t understand a ton about what you do, but I can still tell you’re really freaking good at it.”

“Thanks. That means a lot to me.”

Jax took my hand in hers just as she had earlier, but this time, there was nothing to be afraid of.

“Of course. You’re going to do great. I have no doubt about that.

And every night, I’ll be home to help you relax with a good movie, a foot massage, or silence.

As you know, silence is harder for me, but I’m willing to do it for the greater good.

” Jax squeezed my hand once before dropping it.

“You know what? I was trying not to think about Monday, because I knew it would make me anxious, but right now I feel the opposite. You actually have me feeling more excited than anxious about starting this job.”

I wasn’t sure if I would feel the same way on Monday morning, but at that moment, for maybe the first time ever, I was feeling relaxed and confident.