Page 11 of Anyone But Me

A week had passed since making our lists, and the only thing I had accomplished from mine was staring at a blank word document for a few minutes a day then slamming my computer shut when I was unable to come up with any ideas.

Jax hadn’t mentioned the lists once since that day. I wasn’t sure if that was because she was letting me decide when we started, or if she was such a free spirit that she wasn’t even thinking about it.

I was sitting at Serenity Sips on a Saturday afternoon, reading the new book I had just started, when Jax came over and sat down beside me.

“Are you done already?” I asked as I blinked up at the clock.

“No. I just snuck away so I could ask you if you want to go out tonight. Luis said the crew is going clubbing.”

As much as I wanted to be a new person, clubbing had never really been my thing, and I didn’t think it ever would be. But should I go?

“You really don’t have to,” Jax said before I could answer.

“I can tell you don’t want to. Honestly, I’m happy to stay home with you if you want me to.

It’s taking me longer and longer to recover from nights out.

It’s not like we do it all the time by any means, but I’m definitely not the same person I was at twenty-one, so every time we do, I feel like I’m useless for the next few days. ”

I didn’t know Jax well enough yet to know if she was offering just to be nice. Plus, the last thing I wanted was for her group of friends to think that I was responsible for making her boring. “You should go. I’m probably going to work on brainstorming my book a little tonight.”

Jax’s face lit up. “Really? That’s amazing! If you’re still awake when I get back, I want to hear all about what you came up with.”

*

Thank god I would most likely be asleep by the time Jax got home, because I hadn’t come up with anything since she left the house a few hours earlier dressed to kill in a black leather skirt and a very low-cut white T-Shirt. I rubbed my eyes as I closed my computer after another failed attempt.

I knew if I tried to go to bed right away my head would be filled with thoughts of my writing, or more so, thoughts of my inability to write.

I grabbed a blanket and sat down on the couch, then chose a mindless movie to watch.

After a few minutes I could feel my eyes getting heavy.

I thought about getting up and going to bed, but my feet wouldn’t move.

Instead, I curled further into my blanket and let myself drift off to sleep.

I was awoken some unknown amount of time later when a body slammed into mine. I groaned as I slowly opened my eyes and gained my bearings.

Jax’s whole body was on top of mine, and she was smiling down at me. “What’s up, roomie?” she asked much more loudly than she needed to, given how close we were.

Speaking of how close we were, why were we? Why was Jax still on top of me?

As if she could read my mind, Jax wiggled away to the other side of the couch. “Sorry. Got too excited to see you. You’re really pretty. Did you know that you’re really pretty?”

And you’re really drunk. “I think you’ve told me once or twice.”

“That’s right. I’m quite the flirt.”

It looked like Jax attempted to wink at me, but she also could have just been having issues keeping her eyes open.

“How was your night?” I asked, attempting to get the attention off of myself.

“It was fun.” Jax stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. “It would’ve been even more fun if you were there.”

That one made me laugh. She was clearly very drunk if she thought clubbing would be more fun if I was present. “I highly doubt that.”

Jax shook her head back and forth a bunch of times. “It’s true. I really like hanging out with you. I always have.”

“We’ve only been living together for two weeks.”

“I meant before we lived together too. The times we hung out when you visited Olivia or when we all went to your brother’s football game or at your moms’ vow renewal.”

It was odd hearing Jax bring up those times since I wouldn’t exactly say we hung out any of those times. Sure, we were in each other’s presence, but we barely even talked. “I’m glad to hear I made such an impression,” I said sarcastically.

“You really did. You always do.” Jax sat up on her knees, her eyes went wide, and her eyebrows shot up toward her hairline. “Speaking of which, I want to work on that list of things I’m looking for in my future hot ass girlfriend. Will you help me with it tomorrow?”

I wasn’t sure how that related to me making an impression, but I was happy for the change of subject. “Of course.”

Jax threw herself across the couch and grabbed my legs. “You’re so nice.” When she sat back up, her eyes were comically wide again. “Wait! I’m such an idiot! How did your writing go tonight? I can’t believe I didn’t ask.”

I wish you hadn’t. “It didn’t go.” I sighed. “I know I want to write a book, and I have ideas… kind of. But I don’t know where to start. I don’t know how to start.”

If I were being completely honest, I had spent half of the time I was trying to write searching “How do you write a book?” Unfortunately, none of the tactics worked for me.

“Maybe just start. Put down some words and see where they take you.” Jax broke into a fit of giggles. “I’m sorry. That was terrible advice. I’m so drunk right now.”

“It’s actually pretty good advice.” At least, it would be if I could get out of my own head enough to get words down.

“Shit.” Jax patted herself on the back. “Looks like I’m a fucking genius.” Jax shut her eyes, and it looked like she was about to fall asleep sitting up.

“I think it’s time you went to bed, Genius. I’m not sure you’d be too happy with yourself if you spent the night on the couch.”

After opening her eyes again, Jax crawled across the couch on all fours until she reached me, then tapped my nose with her finger. “You should go to bed too.”

“I’m going to.”

“Good.” Jax gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek that had my body heating up in a way it shouldn’t ( damn lack of female attention) then stumbled to her bedroom.

I watched until she closed the door behind her, then got up from the couch to go to my own room. My plan was to go right to sleep since it was so late, but I found myself opening my laptop, suddenly motivated to start writing. This time I didn’t overthink the words before I began to type.

I still remember the first time I saw her. Her golden blonde hair fluttered in the wind and her blue eyes caught mine and never looked away. Her confidence shined out of her and onto me as if she was the sun, and I was the earth in need of her warmth.

My fingers moved rapidly across the keys of my computer for another hour, and I only stopped once I was physically unable to hold my eyes open anymore.

Not only had I started, but now my mind was brimming with ideas of the love story I was going to write.

It would be a friends to lovers story, where of course they were both too naive to see what was right in front of them all along, especially the main character.

I thought of funny scenarios I could put her through as she fumbled her way through dating everyone except the person she was clearly meant to be with.

Like any good romance novel, the readers would see it the whole time, because it was glaringly obvious to everyone but them how perfect they were for each other.

I wiggled under the covers as more and more ideas popped into my head.

As I fell asleep, I told myself I needed to remember to thank Jax in the morning.

Something she said to me must have clicked, because I was finally excited about writing this.

I drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face, and for the first time, it wasn’t lists and plans running through my head. It was images and daydreams.

*

When I woke up the next day, I rolled over to find my laptop still lying beside me.

Even though I hadn’t gotten as much sleep as usual the night before, I felt oddly refreshed.

I was feeling so good that I immediately opened my computer up and went back into the document I had been working on the night prior.

The words continued to flow, and I was so engulfed in my writing that I almost didn’t hear it when there was a knock on my door.

When I finally registered what the sound was, I saved the document and shut my computer. “Come in.”

Jax walked into my room, and after shutting the door behind her, let out a long yawn and stretched her arms into the air. “Remind me never to go out again. I’m feeling it today.”

“I think you're overestimating my abilities.”

“I believe in you.” Jax walked across the room and sat down on my bed. Her eyes were immediately drawn to my laptop. “Working on something?”

“My book actually.”

Jax’s head shot up. “Really? I thought you said you were having trouble getting started.” Jax brought a hand to her head and rubbed it. “Shit. Was I so drunk that I made up that conversation?”

“No. Your advice was actually what helped get me started.”

Jax squinted her eyes at me. “Oh yeah? And what advice would that be?”

“You said just start, so I did.” I didn’t actually expect it to be that easy, but something about our conversation had given me the push I needed to do it.

“Sounds like terrible advice, but I’m really glad that worked,” Jax said with a chuckle.

“Do you really not remember our conversation last night?” It was probably for the best given how many times she hit on me. I wasn’t sure if Jax ever actually got embarrassed, but if she did, I didn’t want her to have to remember that.

“Most of it, I think.” Jax’s face lit up. “I know that you promised to help me with my list of girlfriend qualities. Do you want to walk to the cafe so I can treat you to brunch while we work?”

I was surprised Jax wanted to go to the cafe on her day off, but I wasn’t going to argue since it was already my favorite place in New York. “That sounds perfect.”

“Meet outside of our rooms in ten minutes?”

“You got it.” Before I could think through what I was doing, I took my nerdiness to a whole new level and gave her a thumbs up. I quickly put it down, hopeful that I was quick enough for her not to notice because what the hell?

“Awesome.” Jax stood from the bed and turned to walk away. She turned around when she reached the door and gave me her own thumbs up before leaving the room.

I wasn’t sure whether to defend myself or hide in embarrassment, but I was too busy smiling to do either.

I hopped out of bed and quickly got ready. I made it out of my bedroom in eight minutes. Five minutes later, Jax came out of hers.

After making it to the cafe, we ordered our food and drinks, then found a table to sit at so Jax could have a hard surface to write down the qualities she was looking for.

“So, where do we start?” Jax asked as she stared down at the blank sheet of paper in front of her.

“Even though it seems shallow, I think it’s easiest to start with what physical aspects you look for in another person.”

Jax squinted her eyes and scrunched up her nose as if she was really considering this.

“I don’t really have a type as far as looks go.

It’s more of a vibe thing with me. I like girls who are more chill and put together than me.

The ones who think things through before jumping into them.

She might have one or two tattoos, but they are tattoos with meaning . ”

I slapped Jax on the arm because she was clearly making a joke. “Come on. Be serious.”

Jax brought a hand to her chest and scoffed. “I am being serious.”

I rolled my eyes as I blew on my coffee. “No, you’re not. You just described me.”

“Did I?” Jax laughed then shrugged. “Maybe that just means you’re my type.”

“I don’t think I’m anyone’s type,” I said under my breath without meaning to.

“Are you kidding me?” Jax asked loud enough to gain the attention of the people sitting around us. “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the whole package.”

“Let’s see if you still feel that way once I get sucked back into my work.”

“We will see.” Jax crossed her arms in front of her chest. “And I’m sure I will. I love hearing you talk about things I don’t understand.”

Okay. Now I knew she was teasing. I tapped Jax’s still-blank paper. “Let’s get back to the list. Maybe we should look at the long term. What do you see for yourself as far as a family and things like that go? Is that something you want?”

Jax’s face lit up as she nodded excitedly. “For sure! I can’t wait to settle down, get married, and have my own family. It’s something I’ve always looked forward to. How about you?”

The truth was, I felt the exact same way. Or at least, I used to, before I had given up on the idea of finding love. “This isn’t about me. It’s about you.”

“Speaking of things that are about you, any interest in starting your list? It’s okay if you’re not ready. I’m just wondering.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. Jax was one of a kind. For someone who naturally had the spotlight on her, she sure liked to shine it on others. “I’ll make you a deal. If you focus on your list, I’ll get a tattoo at some point in the next two weeks.”

“You got it.” Jax put her eyes on her piece of paper and didn’t move them until we had a complete list.

“Better get working on those tattoo ideas,” she said as we walked back to the apartment together.

She was definitely right. I needed to think long and hard if I was going to get a tattoo I didn’t regret. There was something I needed to do before I decided on my tattoo though. I needed to get the words written that were buzzing in my head.