Page 24 of Anyone But Me

When Jax noticed I wasn’t laughing with her, she turned toward me and moved her hands to rest on my arms. Her face was serious as she stared into my eyes.

“Hey, about all of those things you said… it’s not true.

You are good enough for Marcie. You were back then, and you still are now.

The breakup wasn’t your fault. She’s the idiot who lost the best thing that ever could have happened to her.

And you are not pathetic. You’re a human with very real feelings that were hurt immensely when you lost the one person you thought you never would. ”

Her words made me want to either cry or kiss her, but I knew I couldn’t do either. I leaned in and placed a kiss on her cheek because it seemed like the safe (and friendly) thing to do. “Thank you.”

Jax gave me a sincere smile and squeezed my arms before letting her hands drop away. “I only speak the truth. Never forget that.”

The truth. The truth was, Jax only kissed me to help me make Marcie jealous, because she saw me as a friend.

Only a friend. It didn’t matter how good it felt to have her lips against mine, because she clearly didn’t have the same reaction.

She was just being Jax and doing whatever she needed to do to help me.

We spent the next two hours eating and participating in post-run activities.

We were having such a good time that I was able to push my anxiety about the kiss and my reaction to it to the back of my mind.

I was able to avoid thinking about it throughout our walk home and even as I was getting myself cleaned up to meet my brother and his wife for dinner.

When we arrived at the restaurant, Ronan and Mallory were waiting outside for us. As soon as we reached them, Ronan pulled me into a tight hug. “How was the 5k?”

“It was… fun.” I knew there was no way my brother was going to miss my hesitation since he always caught on to things like that.

“You don’t seem so sure about that,” he said with a laugh.

“Marcie was there.” I had never lied to my siblings before, so there was no reason to start now.

Ronan stopped laughing and his eyes went wide. “Oh shit. No way! Did you two talk?”

“Um, briefly.” I worried this was when Jax would cut in and let everyone know that we kissed to make her jealous and everyone would laugh at the thought of me and Jax doing something like that.

Luckily, Olivia cut in before Jax could. “I can’t believe I’m just hearing about this now! I would have thought that’d be the first thing you’d tell me. Isn’t this the first time you’ve seen her in years?”

I nodded, then opened the door to the restaurant with the hope that somehow going inside would make everyone forget about the current conversation.

We gave the hostess our name and started heading toward our table. Olivia walked backward so she was facing me. “Well… how was it? What did you talk about?” She brought her hands up in a praying motion. “Give me something. Please. ”

I shrugged. “We said hi. That was it.”

An arm wrapped around my shoulder, and even though I knew who it was without even looking, my eyes still drifted over to Jax, who was now close beside me.

“She’s not telling you the best part,” Jax said, her voice so loud, I was worried the whole restaurant might hear her.

I wanted to tell her not to share what she was inevitably about to, but instead, I held my breath while I waited for her to tell them about our hilarious fake kiss.

“Marcie totally isn’t over her. It was so obvious. ”

“Seriously?” Olivia screamed, her tone a mixture of annoyance and excitement.

I looked toward my feet, because I could feel my face turning red. “Jax is just being nice. She’s been over me since we broke up. I think she was just surprised to see me.”

Even though I wasn’t looking at her, I could tell by her movements that Jax was shaking her head. “ Carter is being modest. It was written all over Marcie’s face that she realized she fucked up.”

“Hell yeah, she did,” Olivia said with a laugh. “A girl would have to be a huge idiot to give up my sister. ”

“That’s exactly what I said!” Jax dropped her arm from my shoulder and took the seat next to mine at the table the hostess had just led us to.

“So, how do you feel about that?” Ronan asked as he took his seat as well. “Now that you know, would you consider reaching out to her? You never really seemed interested in dating anyone else, so I wasn’t sure if you would be into the idea of ever giving her a second chance.”

I shrugged in response to his question because I honestly didn’t know how I felt about it.

The thought of reaching out to her had never crossed my mind.

I was way too focused on not telling the girl beside me just how much I enjoyed kissing her.

“I feel fine I guess. I have no interest in reaching out to her. It’s been years.

I don’t even know what she’s like at this point.

She could be a completely different person.

It’s not like I’m the same person I was at twenty-two. ”

“No.” Olivia wiggled her eyebrows. “Now you have a tattoo.”

Olivia broke into laughter and the rest of the table followed. The conversation switched to my tattoo and the list I was working on and then moved on to other things. Thank god.

After dinner, we went to a bar down the street, where everyone, except Mallory, had a few more drinks. Since she was still breastfeeding anyway, she had volunteered to be the designated driver for my brother.

With the alcohol in my system, I couldn’t stop my mind from drifting to my kiss with Jax earlier.

My eyes kept finding her lips, and I couldn’t look away.

My body heated up when I thought about how good it felt to kiss her.

It had been a really long time since I kissed anyone, but I didn’t remember it being that good.

I swayed over toward Jax and leaned close to her to whisper in her ear, trying my best to ignore the warmth our proximity elicited in my body. “Why didn’t you tell my siblings about the kiss?” Normally, I wouldn’t have even asked, but the alcohol had given me some confidence I usually didn’t have.

Jax turned to face me, and I could have sworn her eyes landed on my lips before moving upward toward my eyes.

Wishful thinking.

Jax smirked at me before leaning in and placing the lightest kiss just below my ear. It was so light, I couldn’t even be positive that’s what happened, but the way my body heated up in response told me it was. “I don’t kiss and tell,” she whispered.

I shivered from the way her breath hit my ear. I was so drunk on mixed drinks and Jax that I didn’t notice she had grabbed my hand until I was being dragged across the room.

She brought me into the restaurant area of the bar, which was much quieter than the spot we had been in just a minute ago.

“I didn’t tell them, because it’s not my place to tell.

I know you haven’t kissed many people, so this was a big deal.

Which brings me to my question. Are you okay with what happened?

At the moment, it seemed like the best solution, but I realized maybe I should have given you more warning.

You’re not the kind of girl that goes around kissing just anyone, and I should have been more respectful of that. ”

I wanted to tell Jax she wasn’t just anyone , but that felt way too honest. “No. It’s okay. It was… it was nice.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” There was something about Jax’s smile that was different than usual. The question running through my mind was answered when she looked at my lips before licking hers.

Okay. This was happening. Again. I was going to kiss Jax. Again. This time it wasn’t to make someone jealous. This time…

“Hey, ladies, we’re about to head out.”

My brother’s booming voice caused me to jump away from Jax.

Now that the moment was broken, I could think rationally and realize what a bad idea it would have been to kiss Jax when we were both drunk at the bar.

If we were going to kiss again, I wanted it to be when we were both sober and able to actually discuss what we were doing and why we were doing it.

“Can I go with you?” The question slipped out before I could really think about what I was asking, but it wasn’t a bad idea.

I needed to distance myself from Jax. At least, until I was sober.

“I should probably just stay at home tonight. I can sleep in my old room. That way, Jax doesn’t have to sleep on the couch again. ”

“I really don’t mind,” Jax answered quickly.

She had a guilty look on her face which probably meant she thought she had done something wrong, so I needed to reassure her that wasn’t the case.

She hadn’t done anything wrong. It was me and my stupid feelings.

“It’s fine. I should go check on Speck anyway.

I kind of feel bad that we left him there.

I’ll see you all tomorrow when you come for the cookout. ”

The expression on Jax’s face relaxed. “That’s true. Give our boy a kiss for me.”

I nodded, because that was something I could do. That was someone I could kiss without needlessly complicating things. That was the only way this night could end.