Page 12 of Anyone But Me

It took me another week and a half to feel comfortable with my decision, but I was finally ready to get my tattoo.

It was perfect timing since it was a Wednesday that Jax didn’t work.

I wasn’t sure if we would be able to get the tattoo without an appointment, but Jax guaranteed me it wouldn’t be a problem.

Since she knew this tattoo artist well, I believed her. I didn’t let myself fall into my usual pattern of worrying over something that most likely wouldn’t happen.

“Are you ready?” Jax asked after rushing into my room early that morning. “I figured we’ll get there early so she can get us added into her schedule, then we’ll do something in the area until she’s ready.”

“Us? Are you getting a tattoo as well?”

“Hell yeah. I figured why not. I got a new tattoo when your sister got her first and another when your brother got his. I might as well keep the sibling tradition alive, right?”

“Wait. You went with my brother to get his tattoo?” I had no idea.

Then again, when he got home for Christmas break that year and showed it off to me, I didn’t ask questions.

I made sure to match his excitement level so he wasn’t disappointed in my reaction, but the truth was, I had a pit in my stomach.

That was another thing my two siblings had in common that I couldn’t relate to and I was defeated by that knowledge.

“I did. I think it was either sophomore or junior year. I can’t really remember. It was around the time he started dating Mallory because he joked he was going to get her name tattooed on him.”

I threw my hand against my forehead. “Oh god. That would be so cringey.”

“I know. She told him if he did it, she’d dump him, so he dropped that joke really quickly.”

“I knew I liked her.”

“Are you telling me you wouldn’t like it if someone got a tattoo of your name?” Jax shook her head. “That’s a shame since I have your name tattooed on my ass.”

“Ha. Ha,” I answered dryly. “That would’ve been a better joke if you hadn’t already told me about the tattoo.”

“Are you sure you didn’t enjoy it?” Jax poked my cheek. “The smile on your face tells me you did.”

I didn’t realize I had a wide smile on my face until she pointed it out. I tried to stop smiling, but it was no use. I was quickly learning that it was hard not to smile around Jax. I pushed her hand away from my cheek. “Whatever.”

“Soooo,” Jax drew out the word and stared at me intently. “What did you decide to get? I’m sure it’s good.”

I pulled the piece of paper that I had carefully folded out of my pocket and held it out toward Jax.

“It’s a sketch my mom made of my grandparents’ backyard.

” I pointed toward the lake in the sketch.

“Some of my best memories were swimming in that lake with my family. The day she drew this was actually right after Marcie dumped me. Both Olivia and Ronan came right home to be with me, and our whole family went to my grandparents’ house at my request. We went swimming in the lake that day.

I didn’t think it was possible given how heartbroken I was, but I had one of the best days of my life that day.

My mom handed me this sketch at the end of the day as if she knew exactly what I was feeling.

I've kept it ever since. It’s always served as a reminder to smile through the pain.

It also helps me feel better knowing that no matter what happens, I’m surrounded by a group of people who love me so much, they’d do anything to bring that smile to my face. ”

Jax stared at me for a long time, mouth slightly agape. After a few seconds, the way her eyes were digging into mine made my skin tingle. The feeling kind of made me want to crawl out of my own skin, but at the same time, I didn’t hate it. I wasn’t actually sure if I wanted her to look away or not.

“That’s really beautiful,” Jax said when she finally spoke. “I love the meaning behind it and how personal it is to you and your family.”

Her words combined with her eye contact became too much for me to handle, so I looked toward the ground. “Do you know what you’re getting?”

Jax waved a hand in the air. “Nah. I’m going to make a game time decision once I get there, or I’ll just let Jill surprise me.”

I couldn’t imagine ever letting a tattoo artist surprise me with what was going to live on my body, but that was one of the things that made Jax so special. She didn’t worry about anything. At least, it didn’t appear that way.

Jax’s eyes suddenly lit up even more than usual. “Or you could decide for me, since you seem to be so good at it.”

That really seemed crazy to me, but if that’s what she wanted I’d do it.

I wasn’t sure how I would possibly decide on something with such short notice though.

“I’m not sure if that’s the best idea. I’ve been considering what kind of tattoo to get for myself for years.

I don’t think I could figure out a good one for you in just a few hours. ”

“Or less. There’s a chance Jill will get us in right away. Unlikely, but it could happen.”

Apparently, Jax and I should be playing the lottery, because we walked into the tattoo parlor right as Jill was getting off the phone with someone who was canceling two appointments for the morning.

I was kind of hoping I had more time to prepare myself, but this was probably for the best because I wouldn’t have time to change my mind.

The tattoo studio was small, and the little bit of wall space was completely covered with pictures of tattoos I assumed Jill had done since Jax told me she was the solo artist at this studio. It was no wonder Jax liked her. It was clear from the pictures how talented Jill was.

Whoever had tattooed Jill was also very talented.

Both of her arms had full sleeves, and the details were so intricate, I had to imagine you’d discover something new every time you studied the tattoos.

She was wearing shorts, but there were only two noticeable tattoos on her legs—a tiny flower on her right ankle and a much bigger design on her left thigh that I couldn’t quite make out because it was partially covered by her shorts.

Jill’s curly black hair was pulled into a ponytail, and wisps of hair that had fallen out framed her heart-shaped face.

There was no denying that she was hot. It made me wonder if Jax really liked her for her tattooing ability or if it had more to do with her looks.

“Who’s going first?” Jill asked as she looked between us.

Oh god. This is actually happening. I pointed at Jax. “I think you should. I need more time to mentally prepare myself.”

“There’s only one problem.” Jax smirked at me and raised her eyebrows. “ You need to tell me what to get.”

An idea immediately popped into my head, and since I was trying not to overthink things so much, I decided to go with it. “I think you should get the sun.”

“Interesting choice. May I ask what brought you to that conclusion?”

“Great question.” I hadn’t really thought it through before blurting it out, but when I really thought about it, there was a reason my mind went right to the sun. “You shine so bright, you remind me of the sun.”

Jax swiped her hand under her eyes, pretending she was wiping away tears. “That might be the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

I snorted out a laugh. This girl really was one of a kind. “Let’s not make it weird,” I joked.

“Where are you getting your tattoo? I’ll get my sun at the same spot as long as I don’t already have a tattoo there.”

“I was thinking of doing my forearm just below my elbow.” I held out my arm and pointed to the spot I was talking about.

Jax held out her arm as well and pointed to the same spot. “Perfect. That works for me too.”

We discussed different sun designs and once we agreed on one, Jill prepared Jax’s arm to get it.

Jax held an animated conversation with me and Jill the whole time Jill was tattooing her.

It amazed me that she never once flinched in pain.

It was as if she somehow didn’t even notice the needle digging into her arm.

The longer I waited for Jax’s tattoo to be complete, the more I questioned what I was doing. What if my company has a tattoo policy? What if I end up hating it and I get angry every time I have to look at it?

I knew the questions running through my head were extreme.

The company I would be working for was known to be very progressive and even if they did have a tattoo policy, I could just wear long sleeves.

I also highly doubted I would hate the tattoo.

The very special meaning behind it would definitely keep me from ever regretting it.

I was just getting inside my own head as usual.

I was so distracted by my own thoughts, I didn’t even realize that Jax was done until she was standing in front of me with her hands on my arms. She squeezed my arms and looked at me with that intense eye contact. “You still want to do this, right?” she asked softly.

The fact that she was giving me an out—the perfect opportunity to say I changed my mind and walk away—made me want to do it even more.

Even if it hurt or I questioned myself again, I knew Jax would be right beside me offering her support the whole time.

That thought was much more calming than I expected, given how little Jax and I knew each other at this point.

“And what would you like?” Jill asked, her hands resting on her hips as she watched me intently.

With a shaky hand, I pulled the drawing out of my pocket. “I was hoping you could recreate this, but make it a little smaller.”

“Of course.” Jill grabbed the paper from me and stared at it for a long time. “This is beautiful. Did you draw it?”

I shook my head. “My mom did.”

“Her mom is super talented,” Jax cut in. “She’s designed the covers of a bunch of sapphic books. She’s by far the coolest parent of any of my friends. Carter is so much like her.”