Page 180 of Alchemised

L ILA GAVE A HEAVING, GASPING SOB AND stumbled down the steps. She had a rough prosthetic and a crutch, but it did not stop her from dragging Helena into her arms and hugging her ferociously.

“Hel, Hel. You’re really alive.”

Lila’s hands were running over Helena, touching her face and shoulders as though she couldn’t believe that Helena was real.

Helena stared at Lila in equal disbelief. Even though she’d known Lila was alive, she was so accustomed to the thought of everyone dead that she couldn’t fully take it in even while staring at her.

Lila looked so different. Her blond hair was dyed brown, and there was a haggard weariness about her. The jagged scar still ran down her face, and she was crying as she hugged Helena.

“Lila …” Helena’s heart felt as though it might explode. She’d been unprepared for how viscerally the reunion would remind her of everyone who was gone.

“I thought I’d never see anyone again. Look at you. You’re so thin.”

Her eyes ran down Helena’s body, stopping at her stomach, and she froze.

Helena’s chest clenched. “You know, right? Kaine said he was in contact with you.”

Lila nodded slowly.

Behind them, Kaine dismounted.

Lila’s head snapped up, as if she hadn’t noticed him until that moment. “What are you doing here?”

Without warning Lila lunged towards him.

Helena had to throw herself between them, pushing her back. “We escaped together. Lila, don’t hurt him, he’s not Undying anymore.”

A savage light came into Lila’s blue eyes. “Really?”

“You’re not going to have any more luck killing me now than you have at any point in the past, Bayard,” Kaine said. “Lose any more limbs, and you won’t be much protection for that little Principate of yours.”

Lila gave a snarl like a wildcat, looking ready to tear out Kaine’s eyes.

“Stop, both of you,” said Helena, furious that they’d managed to ruin the reunion in less than a minute.

Lila stopped trying to assault Kaine and simply glared at him. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you weren’t really going to die saving her in the end.”

“Shut up, Lila,” Helena said sharply. “I brought him here. If you want to be angry that he’s still alive, then you’ll have to be angry at me.”

Lila looked at Helena, disbelief and then despairing resignation sweeping across her face as she stepped back. “Fine. I’ll keep my mouth shut. Put that monster of yours away, Ferron. I don’t want it near Pol.”

“Go on in,” Kaine said to Helena. “Don’t worry. I knew already that Bayard and I weren’t going to be having a joyous reunion.”

He turned to Amaris and led her towards the stable.

Helena watched them disappear inside and then looked back at Lila, feeling suddenly drained. She somehow thought there’d be enough joy to last an evening at least, but it already felt spent.

It wasn’t that she’d expected things to be simple; a sea of loss surrounded them. She couldn’t begin to imagine how Lila felt towards Kaine after all this time. Still, she hadn’t expected to need to legitimise something as intensely personal as her relationship with Kaine so quickly.

“Lila, if you hurt him, I will never forgive you,” she said.

Lila just shook her head. “You could do so much better.”

“No. He’s what I need, and he’s what it took to save you.”

She could see a multitude of objections rising to Lila’s lips.

“Come inside,” Lila said instead, looking away.

It was only when they were in good light that Helena realised that Lila was still wearing manacles. Not the full suppression that Helena had worn, but enough to keep her resonance weakened.

“He never took those off?” Helena said.

Lila looked down with a grimace. “He did for a while, until I nearly ripped out his talisman. When I woke up.” She shook her wrist. “It’s been a long time now.”

Helena looked around. The house was small and visibly lived in. There was a kitchen, a table, and a bed in the far corner, mostly hidden behind a curtain. It seemed so ordinary for Lila. A world away from the Institute and Solis Splendour, the shining paladin armour.

Helena found herself at a loss.

“Have you been here this whole time?” she finally asked.

Lila shook her head. “No. Back when Ferron thought he’d find you soon, we were just across the river in Novis. It was later that he brought me and Pol here.” She gave a wan smile. “He’s sleeping, do you want to see him?”

Helena followed her tentatively, and they both peeked around the curtain, to be met with the sight of a golden-headed little boy, with soft round cheeks, thick dark lashes, and chubby limbs sprawled like a starfish across the bed.

Lila stared at her son, a heavy adoration in her eyes. “He’s going to be so excited to have company,” she said softly. “We don’t go to the village much. It’s just the two of us most of the time.”

“You never ran?”

Lila swallowed. “I couldn’t at the first place.

First I was pregnant, and then with an infant.

And no leg. By the time we got here … I’d realised I didn’t have anywhere to go.

Ferron said that even if I could get some where like the Novis court and they believed who I was, I’d be a disgraced paladin with an illegitimate child.

If they decided to treat Pol as Principate, they wouldn’t let someone like me take care of him or protect him.

It would have been dangerous to look for my mother’s family.

Every time I’d think about leaving, I’d worry that the minute I did, you’d show up and we’d have missed each other. ”

Lila pushed the curtain to block the light from falling on Pol, turning away.

“Ferron paid off someone in the village to make sure we don’t starve since I’m not much good at farming.

We have chickens and these awful ducks. I knit now, just like my mum did, although Pol grows out of everything about as fast as I can make them. ”

“You know we’re not staying here,” Helena said. “We’re going to take a ship.”

Lila’s expression tightened, but she nodded. “Yes. Ferron’s mentioned the plan. Although he’s said a lot of things. I learned not to expect much.” She exhaled. “Is he really—is he really coming with us? You’re planning to—play house with him?”

Helena’s shoulders tensed. “Yes. Running away together was always our plan. I added you to it because Luc asked me to make sure you and Pol were safe.”

Lila’s eyes went wide. “You saw Luc before he—?”

Helena’s stomach shrivelled as she realised the lie she was about to begin telling. Could she really do this? Lie to Lila forever?

She started to speak, but Lila looked so desperate for any last pieces of Luc, his final moments. She swallowed.

“I was worried about him that day, so I left Headquarters. We—we reconciled just before his unit headed back to Headquarters. I think somehow he knew things were going wrong—he asked me to promise that I’d take care of you. It was the last thing he said to me.”

Lila gave a strained gasping sound in her throat. “Do you know how he was captured—how they got him?”

Helena’s lips pressed tight as she shook her head.

To the world, to history, Lucien Holdfast had died on the steps of the Alchemy Tower. Lila would have to believe that, too.

The door opened, and Kaine entered. Lila’s visible emotions van ished, the temperature of the room dropping. Kaine paid no attention to her, his eyes for Helena only. He frowned.

“Have you fed her?” He looked at Lila.

“No …” Lila looked at Helena. “Are you hungry?”

“She’s pregnant, and all we had was travel rations, so she’s barely eaten in days,” Kaine said, glaring at Lila.

“You could have mentioned.” Lila went over to a cabinet and rummaged about, bringing over a pitcher of milk and some bread, cheese, and grapes, setting them on the table.

Helena picked at the food because Kaine was watching, but her stomach was still unsettled and she didn’t know if it was from the exhaustion of travel or a general anxiousness worsened by the reunion and realisation that there was no point when things would be easy.

“Before we leave,” she said, “we need to take Lila’s manacles off. And is there some way to get materials so I can make her a prosthetic?”

Lila brightened at this, but Kaine’s jaw set, then he sighed.

“There’s no need,” he said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wire key, tossing it to Lila.

With no further explanation, he went back outside.

When he returned, he was carrying a metal chest that was covered in dirt as if it had been dug up.

There was a lock that came easily open, and inside lay Lila’s prosthetic, wrapped in canvas but looking little worse for wear.

“Has that been here the entire time?” Lila asked after a minute of stunned silence.

“I brought it here before you arrived,” Kaine said. “But I didn’t really trust you not to draw attention to yourself. I was going to tell Helena where to find it. It was in the wreckage from the bombing.

“The Abeyance is in three days,” Kaine said while Helena was tinkering with the prosthetic, making sure the components still worked as she got it fitted for Lila again.

“The trade routes have been open for a fortnight, but the sea is calmest now and the ships will be the most crowded, which will serve us well.”

“Where exactly are we going?” Lila asked as Helena was adjusting the balance.

“There’s hundreds of islands running from Etras towards the main land,” Kaine said. “We’re headed for one of the smaller islands near one of the trade cities.”

H ELENA MET A POLLO H OLDFAST THE next day.

Pol was shy, burrowing his face in against Lila’s neck and peering at Helena with dancing eyes as his mother introduced them.

He was a sturdy chap, with more of the Bayard build about him. He would grow up to be very tall, Helena could tell just from looking at him.