Page 144 of Alchemised

W HEN H ELENA HAD NO RITES TO PERFORM, Crowther still kept her busy.

Since she’d proven her usefulness with Mandl, he saw no reason not to continue utilising her to increase his influence and control in the Council.

She refused to use her vivimancy for torture, experimenting with her animancy instead, trying to perfect the methods for extracting information. She could not afford to fail.

The Helena of two years ago would not recognise the person she was becoming.

Every line she’d once believed herself incapable of crossing, she passed over without hesitation now.

Sometimes, she pushed too far, until it felt as though she were crawling beneath a prisoner’s skin, their consciousness and her own briefly occupying the same mind-space.

They’d grow sick with fevers afterwards, as if suffering from some kind of poisoning, but it was effective, so she overlooked the side effects, believing them manageable until Crowther told her that two of her “subjects” had died.

She had never caused a death before. Not like that.

She became very careful, even though Crowther considered it a waste of time and mercy.

She found that brief, repeated sessions were safer than long ones, the fevers milder, as if tolerance could be developed.

And once that happened, it was even easier for her to extract what she wanted.

“I think I might be able to heal Titus Bayard,” she said late one night to Shiseo.

The Eternal Flame had selected a new general for the Council. They’d lost so many in the bombing, the line of succession had been convoluted. Hutchens had a good record, but he was too awed by Luc.

Shiseo paused, looking up from an obsidian knife he was making.

Helena drew a deep breath. “When General Bayard was injured, I didn’t understand what needed to be done—I didn’t realise that an injury like his wasn’t the same as other wounds.

I had an idea earlier this year, but when I tried to test it, Titus reacted badly.

Still.” She looked down. “With my work lately, I realised the trick is working in increments and building a tolerance. Once I do that, I think it could work.”

Shiseo tilted his head. “How?”

She wet her lips. “There are paths the mind follows, thoughts and memories. When I healed Titus, I didn’t know, and I trapped him.

It might be too late, but if I could get in, maybe I could make a way back out for him.

” She swallowed awkwardly. “I do something like that to myself sometimes. Use my resonance to alter how I think, where my mind goes.”

Shiseo considered for a minute. “It sounds complicated.”

She looked down. “I think I’m going to try at least.”

Crowther showed callous interest. “If you wish. If you kill Bayard, it will spare us a mouth to feed.”

She swallowed hard. “I’m trying to be helpful.”

His lip curled. “When I want something, Marino, I’ll tell you.”

They’d just received word that Kaine had been dispatched to Hevgoss on a diplomatic mission without warning. He hadn’t even had time to tell her, he’d just sent an encoded message on one of the radio channels, and then he was gone. No goodbye.

T HE ONLY THING GOING WELL was Lila’s pregnancy. Lila was bored but healthy, healthier than Helena had seen her in years. The pregnancy showed no risk of miscarriage.

“Are you all right?” Lila asked. Helena had her hand on Lila’s stomach, her eyes closed, trying to separate Lila’s louder heartbeat from the baby’s in an attempt to tell if it felt healthy.

Foetal heartbeats were much faster, but it was confusing to sense two people simultaneously.

Helena opened her eyes, dry and burning from exhaustion.

“I’m fine,” she said, though she felt as if she were bleeding to death inside. She’d seen so little of Kaine, and now he was gone and she didn’t know when he’d return. Her days were spent waiting for people to die, no longer even trying to save them.

Lila looked sceptical. “You don’t look fine. You don’t look like you sleep at all. Pace said you were badly injured. Are you recovered? You know better than anyone how important full recovery is.”

Helena shook her head. “It’s not that. My shifts are longer now but they’re not hard. I need to go, I have—more work.”

Lila spoke as she started to stand. “You don’t say it, but you think I’m selfish, don’t you?”

Helena sighed, staring down at her hands.

“You’ve been through a lot; I don’t blame you for wanting something.

I just don’t understand why you want this right now.

You should at least go to Novis where you’ll be safe.

” She shrugged. “Maybe having the Principate’s heir would be enough to convince them to send some medical supplies. ”

Lila had thus far refused to “come out of quarantine,” and was still pretending to be contagious with bog cough.

“I want to wait a little longer,” Lila said. “Just to be sure.”

R HEA AND T ITUS WERE WAITING in one of the private rooms. Helena had written to Rhea, telling her that there was a possible treatment opportunity that she wanted to discuss.

“What would it entail exactly?” Rhea asked, gripping Titus by the arm to keep him from wandering.

“It would be a series of procedures,” Helena said, rubbing her hands against her black habit, trying to get her palms dry.

“It’s similar to what I tried earlier this year, but I know how to control the reaction now.

If we worked slowly, with short procedures, followed by recovery periods, I think Titus will adapt to the process.

And then I can attempt to heal him without causing the reaction he had last time. ”

Rhea squeezed Titus’s hand, leaning towards Helena, her eyes bright. “So you’ve done this before?” Her voice trembled with eagerness.

Helena cleared her throat, wanting to temper expectations. “Not this exactly. But a related procedure. It’s not without risk, though. Are you familiar with mithridatism?”

Rhea shook her head.

Helena drew a deep breath. “It’s a method of developing immunity to poison through low dosage.

The process of going deep enough to heal Titus will have—similarities; he’ll have a sort of immune response to my resonance, in the form of brain fevers.

We’ll have to monitor them, keep them under control.

If they’re too high, we’ll have to take longer breaks.

The goal will be building up his tolerance for my resonance in the delicate parts of the brain. ”

That was all mostly true, with only a few details omitted.

Rhea nodded. “Yes—yes—whatever you—”

The door opened before she could finish speaking and Luc entered, followed by Sebastian.

“Rhea, what are you doing?” Luc asked, his voice breathless.

Rhea looked startled by the intrusion. “Helena’s found a way to heal Titus.”

Luc looked at Helena, his eyes hard, bright, and feverish. “You can’t be serious.”

Helena started to answer, but it wasn’t a question and it wasn’t directed at her. He’d turned back to Rhea.

“You’re going to trust her after what she did to Soren?”

Helena flinched, her mind nearly pitching itself into that clawing wound inside her. She swallowed hard. “Luc, Soren died. I’m sorry I couldn’t save him, but this procedure for Titus could work. Think of how valuable it would be to get him back.”

Luc looked back at her again, a look of disgust in his eyes. “That’s what this is about to you? Value?” He looked at Titus, who’d grown restless from the tension in the room. “You look at what you did to him, and see a wasted military asset?”

“What? No. That’s not what I meant.”

He stared at her again, his eyes blistering as sunburn. “You lay as much as a finger on him, and I’ll—”

“She won’t,” Rhea said, breaking in. “Thank you, Helena—Healer Marino, I appreciate the offer, but I think we’ll pass.”

Luc gave a sharp nod and then turned on his heel, walking out without a backwards glance.

Sebastian wavered, looking at Rhea and Titus, his expression conflicted before he turned, following Luc.

When they were gone, Rhea’s face crumpled, and she gave an audible gasp before pressing her face in her hands.

Helena could find no words. She sat numb with shock as Rhea stood, not looking at Helena as she led Titus out.

Once she was alone, Helena pulled her gloves on and headed for the Alchemy Tower. When the lift opened, she was surprised when Sebastian stepped out alone, a weary expression on his face. He paused, resting a hand on her shoulder. “It was good of you to try.”

Helena couldn’t quite bring herself to look at him. She stared at his chest, at the suncrest on his armour.

“Why is he doing this?” she asked. “Everyone understands. Even if they think it was wrong, they understand. He won’t even try.”

Sebastian sighed. “You know why.”

She wasn’t sure that she did, but she nodded and stepped into the lift. There were three guards stationed outside Luc’s door, and they shook their heads when she approached.

She went to her own room and climbed out the window, walking carefully up and around the low slope. Luc’s hair gleamed golden in the setting sun. He was sitting hunched on his heels, twirling something in his fingers. He brought it up to his mouth, flames sparking in his fingertips as he inhaled.

His whole body seemed to come loose, and he sagged in on himself.

Watching, she was reminded of how soft his face used to be, the brightness of it. Now the war had chewed him down to the bone. He sat there, out of armour, so shrivelled he reminded her of an insect exoskeleton, like the shed dragonfly nymphs that clung to the water reeds. He was hollowed out.

Smoke curled from his lips as he slowly exhaled.

He was smoking opium.

She stared in horror at how casually he did so. As though it were an old habit.

He pulled the pipe from his mouth, catching sight of her. His expression hardened, growing more alert. “Go away.”

“No,” she said, and came closer.