Page 5 of Absolution

“I haven’t. Changed my mind, I mean. I want you to think for the next twenty-four hours about why you really want to be here. If you’re into getting bitten, then fine. No more games. Just be real. I’m no one’s charity case, and we won’t be fucking.”

He opened his mouth to protest but I shook my head. One of the benefits of being the biggest, baddest things in the room now was that I made the rules. I was strong enough to keep anyone from pushing me around. Well, most anyone. Luca had just beaten up a werewolf so I wasn’t sure where I ranked on that scale, but I’d be willing to lay him out if he tried.

“I will call you in twenty-four hours.”

He folded his arms across his chest. “And if you don’t like my answer?”

“Then you go home.”

“Even though you need me.”

“That’s the funny thing about me. I don’tneedanyone.” I headed for the door, not looking back. The man was beautiful, had an accent that anyone would fall over in adoration for, and his blood tasted like heaven. He had trouble written all over him. Been there, done that, came back undead.

My phone buzzed. I tapped the screen to answer, knowing who it was without checking the ID. He had been watching.Himno one would notice unless he wanted them too. The crowd of pulsing blood bags didn’t bother him.

“You fed,” Gabe said.

“Why aren’t you home making your boyfriend happy instead of bothering me?” I snapped.

“You shouldn’t be this moody after a meal like that. I could smell him across the room.”

I was horny and had just turned down a hot guy. After more than two months of abstinence the blood was no longer my only need. I hadn’t even braved masturbating since I’d been brought over. It just felt wrong. I was dead. I shouldn’t have these sort of feelings. Then there was the red haze that couldn’t figure out when to show up. Sometimes when I was turned on it came, and all the time when I let the monster out. I feared that meant the monster was taking control of me. But telling my mentor I was pissy because I hadn’t been laid would only have him insisting I alleviate that problem, too. And I was pretty sure I’d kill whomever I took to my bed right now. “Look. I’m fine. I just want to go home.”

“You should work for a few hours. Get some of the aggression out. I don’t know why feeding always makes you so angry, but it does. Think of Constantine.”

Yeah, there was no need to expose Con to my bad mood. He got real jumpy around vampires. More than once I’d stared longingly at the pounding vein of Con’s throat. He’d never offered and probably wouldn’t since he’d been bitten by his sister and controlled by a very nasty and now very dead vampire.

I stepped out into the chilly night. People passed by, huddled in coats and breathing white puffs of air in the nearly sub-zero temps. My coat was light-weight wool meant to help me blend in rather than warm me. I huffed out a heavy breath expecting a little white cloud, but got none. I’d just fed, should have been warmer, but the ice seemed to fill the core of me. I was a dead man wanting to feel alive. How stupid was that?

A hand landed on my shoulder. Gabe. He stared down at me in concern. His coat was heavier than mine, more expensive and stylish. His blond hair was trimmed beautifully. Face all angles and chiseled like a piece of artwork. No one ever saw him and thought “vampire.” Two thousand years of practice made perfect. I couldn’t imagine living that long. I put the phone away.

“Let me give you a ride.” Gabe led me to his car, hand on my arm in a no-nonsense sort of way. It was a short two block walk, but the car would be better than the bus, and I did need to go home eventually.

He unlocked the doors. I got in and stared out the window not wanting to talk, though I knew he would. It was one of the things Gabe did best, though he failed miserably when he had to share private stuff with his lover. Gabe was the overprotective sort, which was both endearing and annoying. More the latter for me.

“So, tell me about Luca.”

“Nothing to tell.”

“You got upset when he came on to you,” Gabe pointed out. So obviously he’d been close enough to watch. Did that make him a pervert? Or was I just in a pissy mood? Yeah, pissy mood.

“I don’t need therapy.” Well, yeah. I probably did, but I didn’t want to work through the disaster that had been my life the past few years while lying on my back on a couch talking to some stranger. None of that shit helped Seiran. Hell, I was pretty sure it made him worse.

“Was he polite?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“Did he taste good.”

Understatement of the year. I could still taste him on my tongue and would be fantasizing about him for days to come. “Yes.”

“Then why didn’t you stay? Spend some time getting to know him?” Gabe started the car and steered out into the street, heading for his bar, not home. Guess I was going to work tonight after all.

“I’ve had that trouble before. Too good to be true.”

“This isn’t love, Sam. It’s food. He’s not asking you for any kind of commitment.”

“That makes him a whore and me a john.”