Page 39 of Absolution

“We’re fine,” Con promised.

But it didn’t feel like we were fine. It felt like we were breaking. “You’re my best friend, Con.”

He nodded. “Yeah. Ditto, right?” He looked toward the elevator and I knew he wanted to escape.

“It’s okay. You can go,” I told him. “Maybe we can talk when you’re more awake, eh? Not at o-dark-thirty or some shit.”

Con nodded. He got up slowly, still not looking at me. “I’m sorry, Sam.”

So was I. “We’re good,” I told him, putting more confidence in the words than I felt. “Once I’m done watching the rug rats we can play some games, yeah?”

He smiled. “Yeah. Games would be good.” I let him leave and sat down on the couch staring at the small remains of the mess I had yet to clean up. Alone in the silence of night was always hard. I didn’t want to be alone. How weird was that? I had spent most of my life wishing people would just leave me the fuck alone, now it was the last thing I needed.

I could crawl into bed with Seiran and he probably wouldn’t care, but I wasn’t tired, and didn’t want to chance waking him when he obviously needed the sleep. I picked up my phone and scrolled down to view the messages I hadn’t read, which was most of it.

Luca’s first text right after I’d gone to ground made me pause. The answer began a long list of daily texts.

Answer to your question: A vampire asked me to be your cibo. You seemed nice when we talked, a good match, and I agreed to meet you.

You weren’t my first newbie vamp.

I thought it would be okay, just like any other assignment.

Then I saw you sitting there at the club and you just looked so lonely.

I thought “that’s me.” Alone in the crowd. Invisible. Unlovable. Again, I thought we’d be a good match.

You rejected me. I was hurt. Angry. Stupid. Followed you.

Found you at the coffee shop, again alone and lost.

You remind me of myself. The part of myself that I bury to stay safe.

Not that it’s a bad thing…

We fought and you were so hot even covered in my blood I wanted you to fuck me.

You’ve got a mean right hook.

But you ran from me.

What did I do wrong?

Seiran says I’m too pushy.

But you’re a strong guy, you can handle pushy. I think you like pushy in some ways. I can be that if you need.

I liked dancing with you. Kissing you.

Sorry I went territorial on you. I should have known better. I’m working on it.

My dad says Gabe isn’t training you very well.

You shouldn’t have had to go to ground so soon.

You should have been more prepared.

Gabe is pissed that my dad won’t take his calls.