Page 3 of Absolution
The bell rang and the fight began. I didn’t watch. The beautiful man would fight the beast. Would he live or die? Did it matter? We were all monsters here. I turned away overwhelmed by my depression again. I was just like them, wasn’t I? I may not look so scary on the outside, but the monster inside had claws just as sharp and bigger fangs.
I made my way out, sucking in the deep cold air.
“No one dies,” Max told me, having followed me out. “At least not often. Accidents do happen.”
“I don’t want to be just another monster,” I told him.
His smile was sad and somewhat self-mocking. “But we are, aren’t we? I do a lot just to feel. You’re young. You still pulse with emotion. What you saw inside scared you, depressed you, and yet excited you. I long for all of that.”
Was that all I had to look forward to? An eternity searching for emotion? “I don’t want to be like that.” It was probably rude to say so, but the truth. “Empty.”
“Happens to all of us in time. We live so long the world kills us from the inside out.”
“Are you looking for a way to die, Max?” I had to ask. Gabe mentioned he’d been nothing but a walking corpse before he’d met Seiran. Max probably wasn’t any younger.
“Looking for a way to live, my young friend. Call if you need me. I can show you things that Gabe would not dare.”
Because Gabe was one of the good guys and Max was just fire I’d already burnt myself with twice. “Thanks,” was all I offered as I headed back out into the night. It was getting late, and I had to get to the club before midnight. Gabe expected me to meet with theciboI’d approve before the night was over.
I stopped at a gas station to clean up. The attendant didn’t say anything about the bottle of water and chewing gum I bought. Though he did give me the stink eye when I asked for the bathroom key. Did he think I was gonna camp out in the crapper for the night? I would rather have found a dumpster to sleep behind.
When I stepped inside the stink nearly had me hurling again. Did they ever clean this place? I went to the sink and washed my face, taking time to scrub away small bits of blood spatter. The hunger must have been bad to make me so messy. At least my shirt and jacket were still clean. I could only imagine what it would be like to go meet thecibowith some other guy’s blood on me. Sort of like paying for a second whore when the come of the first still stained the skin.
The mirror made me look so ordinary. I’d fed so my eyes wouldn’t turn red even if I willed them to for at least a few more hours. Though I did try. Sometimes I let the monster out and just stared at him for hours. It still shocked me when I’d fall out of a weird trance and find only myself in the mirror.
I popped a half dozen pieces of gum. The strong cinnamon of it would kill any lingering blood and it burned my tongue. The stuff was nasty, but it was the one thing that Gabe swore by that I always used.
I made my way to the club hoping that the guy I’d spoken to online a couple dozen times wasn’t some clingy jerk who wanted to be my vampire groupie. Gabe wanted me to have a regular blood source. Someone to feed on that would help me build a bond with humanity. I didn’t care either way. Humans weren’t all that great. I’d spent most of my life being one. Vampire wasn’t much of an upgrade.
The last thing I needed was someone fragile that wanted me to be his savior. I was no one’s hero dammit. No matter what Gabe and Sei tried to convince me of most days. I was okay being the bad guy. At least the role fit.
Chapter 2
The wailing pulse of music reverberated through my spine and the lights flashed in time to it. A headache was forming behind my eyes, and in my gut a tingling need grew. Gabe often reminded me that I was young and everything made the bloodlust worse. He hadn’t been wrong so far, no matter how much I wished for a reprieve.
I shifted in my seat, turning to get a better angle of the crowd. Men and women gyrated, clothes almost non-existent. Pulses raced with lust and excitement. If I had been human it might have been appealing to join the crush of bodies, heat, and sweat. But I wasn’t human anymore and they all reeked.
Still I wanted to gorge on them all.
The bottle of QuickLife in my grasp should have taken away the edge. Older vampires swore by the stuff. I could barely tolerate it. It tasted like I imagined liquefied shit to taste like. And really wasn’t that what blood was? At least real people tasted better. Maybe it was the warmth or even something as spiritual as the soul, but I’d rather dine on the lowliest of people than drink the shit they put in a bottle. That was why I was here. Even nibbling on the two thugs earlier had only dulled my hunger. I really longed to drink deeply of someone but feared killing them. Norms could only take a few gulps before they got dizzy and there was a chance they’d die. Witches, shifters, and vampires lasted longer but weren’t exactly ideal prey since they fought back.
Sitting on the fringes watching the crowd made me feel like the predator I was. Gabe had frowned on my choice of seats. He wanted me to interact, seduce, and relate to them. I often wondered where the romance was. Books and movies made vampires sound so great. People didn’t have a romance with their cheeseburger. Why did I have to have one with my food?
Being a vampire drew the hanger-ons like flies. Gabe warned me they only wanted to use me to be turned and that wasn’t allowed. I didn’t want any of them anyway. Couldn’t imagine being stuck with any of them through whatever semi-immortality was granted via vampirism.
My old high school bullies would have laughed themselves hoarse at the thought of me being the guy everyone wanted. Little dorky Sam Mueller with his slanted eyes and dark clothes. They’d always called me Goth, though I’d never been. I guess now I really was.
My phone buzzed with a new text from my roommate Constantine.Games?
Waiting for Cibo, maybe l8er,I texted back. Con was a super-hot playboy covered in tattoos who just happened to land as my roommate when his sister had gotten involved in some shit. She’d been executed a month ago for trying to kill the Pillar of Earth, Seiran Rou. Now Con and I lived together and spent most nights playing video games until he was too tired to move off the couch and I had to hide from the light of the sun. He played viciously, killing everything in his path and sometimes screaming at the TV. I played stealthily, trying to rid myself of some of the internal demons I refused to tell Gabe about. If thecibodidn’t get here soon I’d be finding other prey for the evening so I could get back to the exorcism.
Life was good when it was narrow. Despite Gabe’s protests I didn’t want a constant. My luck with lovers had been 0 for 3. It was probably better for everyone if I stayed on the edges and fed only when I needed to from random strangers. I’d been texting thecibofor a few weeks, talking to him online. One chosen out of dozens who had contacted me. I thought if it was someone I could get along with, it would be easier. Now I questioned the wisdom of that. If I didn’t know them, I could bite them and leave them. Feeding was sort of like a one-night stand. I didn’t need to get their name to suck on them for a while.
The smell of blood permeating the club warned me that my hunger had just about reached its limit before it would take over and choose for me. No matter how much I drank it wasn’t enough, which was why Gabe asked the Tri-Mega—the ruling body of vampires—for help. They sent me a volunteer, acibo, someone I could feed from regularly to stem the need. All I knew about the donor was that he was Italian, and a half vampire named Luca. I hadn’t known anyone could be a half vampire until I asked Luca how that happened. He said his dad was a vampire and his mom was human, which apparently meant that when he died he would transition to vampire without having an official sire. I hadn’t really pushed for more details.
When we talked online it was about books, movies, or video games. All the others had wanted to role play me biting them, which was why I’d chosen Luca. He hadn’t talked about it at all until we arranged this meeting. And no pictures exchanged. I’d rather see his expression in person than get the brush off because I was nothing special.
Luca better be worth the wait, as I’d been waiting almost an hour. I hated places like this and stuck out like a sore thumb. The internal noise was worse than the music. For some reason becoming a vampire had tuned me into the human psychic network or some shit, because I could feel their emotions, and hear a lot of their thoughts. In the beginning I’d basked in the new ability. But now it was an incessant chatter that never stopped. Often, I didn’t know whether I was feeling someone else’s emotions or my own. Gabe claimed it was because I lacked focus, which was because I was always hungry. I didn’t agree. I could pick a single person out of the room and get inside their head, shift their emotions if I needed to. Focus wasn’t the problem, though hunger was always an issue.