Page 18 of Absolution
“If I don’t answer his one question the way he wants by eleven tonight I turn into a pumpkin and get the country boot in my ass.”
Suddenly everyone’s eyes were on me. “What?” I demanded. Wasn’t I allowed to make my own damn decisions? Feeding was a lot like sex, intimate, and dangerous, opening yourself up to the other person like that. It was only fair I got to pick who that was. I sighed and pushed away from the table not able to handle being in the room a moment longer.
I texted Con who was still upstairs at Sei’s place. He had it closed up tight so all I had to do was make it from the elevator to the door before I burst into flames. “I’m going to hang with Con for a bit. Make sure he’s not weird about this morning.” I knew he wouldn’t be. He’d never had a chance to see the bloody clothes. But it made for a good excuse. I left the mug of nastiness and everyone’s prying eyes behind as I jumped in the elevator and headed up ready to run for the door.
The metal double doors slid open. Light blasted me with blistering heat from the entry. I practically flew past the few random people that always seemed to linger in the building’s mailbox area to where Con waited with the door to Sei’s apartment wide open. He let me run past him into the shielded living room where he’d hooked up an Xbox to Sei’s rarely used TV.
I should have brought up the mug of old blood. The added sunburn just made me hungrier. Con sat next to me and handed me a controller. We played in comfortable silence. He never expected me to talk about my day or what was bugging me.
The smell of fresh blood and ink tickled my nose. “You get a new tat?”
He nodded. “Beau is working on a picture of Cat for me. It’s gonna take a few months since there’s so much detail and color. But I had to have her close, you know? I sort of feel like I failed her and maybe I can keep her alive like this. Even if it’s just in my head.”
I should have said something inspiring like she wouldn’t have wanted him to mourn, but I didn’t know the girl at all. So I just said, “Sorry.”
“No worries. We’ve all got something right?” We went back to playing and not talking.
The smell of Con’s blood made me salivate even though it was laced with chemicals from his new art. If what Gabe said was right about me gravitating toward the strong, then Con was a more powerful witch than he let on. God, I was such a monster. He’d just lost his sister and I wanted to jump him. Not just his blood, but his body. He was that lanky sort of guy that made most people wary. Covered in tattoos. His face lots of angles, sharp, high cheekbones, eyes set just a little too wide for his face. The mess of dark hair falling around his face softened the edges a bit. And he had a great mouth, lips pale rose and defined. I’d dreamt more than once about having them wrapped around my cock. Fuck. Maybe if I just fucked Luca already, some of the sexual tension would ease.
The silence that stretched between us for the next few minutes was almost painful. Finally Con broke the silence. “So how did it go with yourcibo? He’s pretty hot. I’d do him. Seems nice.”
“He’s kind of pushy.”
“And you don’t like pushy?” He asked because he knew I did.
“He wants to have sex with me.”
“Iwant to have sex with you. That’s not a stretch you know. You’re an attractive guy.”
“Vampire,” I corrected him.
He sighed and took the controller from me; pausing the game by pressing the start button. “I know. I don’t blame you for what happened to my sister. I don’t blame you for being a vampire. No matter what you think, you are not a monster. Not so long as you still feel something for other people, even if you hurt them. Cat had lost that. She hadn’t even been undead that long…”
“I am a monster. Didn’t you hear? I attacked a couple guys in an alley last night.”
“Not unprovoked, and yes, Kelly told me. It’s like a game of telephone around here. No secrets. They came at you, you rewarded them with the fight they wanted.”
“Wasn’t much fight in them.”
“Not the point. But yeah I heard.”
I wished I was home so I could retreat to my room to analyze all the whirling thoughts in my head. Con’s presence was usually soothing. But learning he wanted to have sex with me just added stress to our relationship that we didn’t need.
“Con. You and me. I can’t do that.” I’d break him. My best friend. Hell, my only real friend. No matter how much I wanted him…
“Hey, I hear you there. Maybe you can bite Luca and do me? I don’t mind being held down.” And now I had more fantasies of him I didn’t need. I opened my mouth to protest, but he put his hands up in mock surrender. “I know vamps have this whole thing with sex and blood going together. I just want you to realize you’re not a bad looking guy and most of the time—when you’re not being a dick—we all like you. So it makes sense that this Luca guy would be interested.”
“Even though he’s super-hot? Guys like him never looked at me before I became a vampire.”
“Because most guys are idiots. That should not be a surprise to you. Dead or alive, men are wired by their dicks. You don’t come across as prey, and that’s what most guys want. Someone easy. Not dangerous.”
“I’m dangerous?”
Con shrugged. “Bad boy vibe is alive and well with you. Work it.”
That was news to me. I’d never considered myself a bad boy. Just a not nice guy. “You’re the one covered in ink.”
“Doesn’t mean I’m a bad boy. I’m more by the book.” He looked me over again, gaze traveling down my body like he wished I was naked in front of him. “For most things. You strike me as the kind of guy who’s read the rule book and said fuck it, then set it on fire.” Argh, so much sexual tension.