Page 73 of A Touch of Stars and Stones (Kirrian #1)

forty-two

. . .

Aten

F alling asleep next to Ever turned into an impossibility I wasn’t ready for. It was a contradiction I couldn’t work out the answer to.

Not because of the fear of touching her in her sleep or the pain that might come from our contact if I’m not aware enough to shield, but from not wanting to close my eyes on her.

She fell asleep in seconds. I felt the gentle hum of emotion and power that comes from being this close and connected, fade like mist in the morning, burning off under Novandia’s rays.

Aslendrix, blessed may you ever be. What are you doing to me?

Despite needing to sleep like the dead, images cursed my mind every time I tried.

As if the image of men attacking Ever wasn’t enough, my memory grew into a nightmare, forcing me to watch, locked out and on the other side of the bars, as they ripped her necklace, held her down, and snapped her neck.

Even if she hadn’t wanted to stay, I don’t think I’d be able to sleep without knowing she was next to me for a while. Safe.

And my fucking mind won’t turn off with all the information it needs to sort through. If it wasn’t about Ever, it was the question of who came for her and why. So really, it was all about her.

At some point, I must pass out, but I’m awake to watch as the dawn light creeps in through the window as I keep my vigil over her, who hasn’t moved all night. At least she’ll be rested.

My fingers itch to brush her messy strands of hair back into place, but I don’t want her to wake yet. Or risk having to shield when I feel this drained.

Last night was a whole different level of training. One that had exponentially more rewards, but she was right. It would have taken everything in me to sustain my shield. It was hard enough for the time we were together. I couldn’t do that every day, not without rest.

Here we can stay safe and pretend there isn’t a bunch of crap to work through when we get out of this room.

In here, we can be just a boy and a girl.

A boy falling for a girl whom he should have run from, but couldn’t find the will.

A boy who can’t shield well enough to be with her like she deserves. To be with her the way I’ve been thinking about since… zuns, she gave me the hottest show in her room.

And now I’m hard again thinking about just how good we could be at the new moon when I don’t have to hold back or focus on everything but her touch.

Goddess, yes.

Ever’s breathing shifts, and she finally moves, stretching her arm out from under her and bringing herself around. The simple movement is fucking sexy and gives me something to smirk about. But I lock all of that away, too aware of how she can sense me just as I can sense her.

“Morning,” she hums to me with her eyes still closed.

“Morning, Little Siren.”

“Hmmm… it wasn’t a dream.” Her voice is full of sleep, and suddenly, this is how I want to see her every morning, selfishly, before anyone else does.

“Well, it depends on what you were thinking about, but I’m betting on the answer being no, it wasn’t a dream.”

Finally, those green eyes open and blink up at me through her darker lashes. The colour in her lips and cheeks reminds me of last night after she trailed her tongue over my chest, and I know it’s going to be fucking frustrating to limit myself when it comes to her.

It’s been that way from the start, though, only now, my heart is invested too. Fucking all of it.

“Do you want breakfast? Rigel will set something up, I’m sure,” I offer.

“I think we should get back to the residence. Now it’s light, and after yesterday, I want to check on Micah and Kyra, maybe try and make sense of everything.”

“Shit, Micah.” I roll onto my back and scrub my hands over my face. “He came with me to The Court. But he said he wanted to check on his family. I told him we’d find him.”

“Well, we got a little distracted, what with the men breaking into my cell and all.” Her voice is far too buoyant to be describing what happened. My jaw tenses. But she’s okay. She’s here.

“Head back then?”

She nods and sits up, my shirt all scrunched up around her stomach. It looks good on her. My clothes. Against her skin. Goddess, yes.

“Go and wash up first.”

She smiles and heads to the bathing room.

“You haven’t touched me all morning.” Ever pushes the thought to me, it clangs loudly inside my mind, and I realise too late that I’ve got no strength to hold any sense of shield.

I stop and shut the door. “I’d touch you, kiss you, stars, hold your hand wherever we go, but…” I pause. “Even doing what we did took a lot out of me.”

“It takes a lot to shield me for that long to stop the pain or visions.” Even her voice inside my mind sounds blue.

“I’m sorry. I want to be greedy with you, but you were right. We’ll get better, I promise, but right now, patience.” I give her the briefest kiss to back up my point, the fizzle burning to life the instant I make contact and my head throbbing in response.

Not enough sleep did not help anything.

“Will we get in trouble going back now? Will your father want to talk with you?” She keeps up with the questions.

“No, although it’s not usual for trainees to be out overnight. It’s not that we have a curfew, but we are expected to be back in our rooms.”

“What about each other’s rooms?” She shoots me a wicked smile.

“Try and stop me. Although we’ll have to get a bigger bed. Just to be on the safe side.”

“And maybe you can work on actually sleeping. You look like you didn’t. And I say that with love.”

“I look the way I feel, then?” Like crap.

“Sorry.”

“Another thing I’m working on. You’re distracting even when you’re asleep.”

We leave the apartment, and the officers on duty give us a cautionary look as we leave.

I lead us through the halls and corridors until we’re out of The Tower and in the main courtyard.

The Court is quiet for the morning. As we make our way down the main street, the aftermath of yesterday is still there to see.

Overturned chairs, closed-up windows, cracked pots, and half of the few people around, still dressed in their Warrior uniforms. Stalls and carts aren’t open as we get closer to the Elemental faction.

Nobody approaches us, and we keep our heads down and our pace brisk as we leave the relative safety and head for the bridge.

Triple the usual guard quota awaits us, but again, let us pass without a single question.

We make it all the way to the closest training ring before we see anyone.

“Where have you been?” Rowan intercepts us, stopping us from getting inside.

“At the Ciro apartments. As my father instructed.” I step forward and square off to him, keeping Ever a step behind me.

“It’s against regulation to leave the training residence overnight unless previously sanctioned,” he tries to enforce.

“And what is there about ensuring the safety and well-being of a fellow trainee? We were under attack, and I wasn’t going to put Ever in danger.”

“The attack was a false alarm,” Rowan states, but the way he pulls back and masks his face tells me he’s hiding something. “And Ever should still be in her cell,” he hisses the last word.

No fucking way.

I concentrate and reach out towards him to get a read on his emotions, unsure I’ll get anywhere, the way my power feels today.

Every time I do this, it gets a bit easier—more familiar—just like they said it would. But power has limitations, and reading Rowan’s nerves and defiance will have to do for now. My head throbs again.

“Ever won’t be going back to any cell,” I bite out. “And until you can get your story straight, I suggest you don’t speak to us again.”

“Aten Ciro, you are still under my jurisdiction. I am your Custodian,” he spits as his face reddens at my words, reminding me of my father’s.

“Technically, I’m Aurelia’s. She’s the Guard Custodian.

I don’t care if you think you run the programme or not anymore.

There was an attack. I witnessed it myself.

Ever too.” I reach back and grab her hand, shoving any semblance of a shield into my mind.

“And my father is well aware. So back the fuck up.” My temper flares, but Rowan concedes, and I pull us the rest of the way to the residence, down the hall and to my door, which isn’t locked.

I slam it behind us and let go of Ever.

“Are you okay?” she asks, shaking her hand out.

“Just pissed off.”

“Now what?”

“We wait for the others. Micah and Calix will have information, no doubt. We need that. And hopefully, it will be more than we’ve already gained.”

The door bursts open behind me, and I spin, drawing my knife and moving in one sweep to position myself in an attack strike.

“Hey, hey, it’s me. It’s me!” Micah’s hands are in the air as he pulls his throat away from the edge of my blade. I relax and sheath the knife.

“Sorry.”

“Yeah.” He nods. “What happened to you guys? Warriors locked down The Court, but when they stood down, there was no sign of you.” His eyes jump between me and Ever but linger on her for far too long.

It sparks my possessive urge to keep her away from everyone in sight, and I’m not in any fit state to be picking fights. “It’s a long story. We stayed at The Court. What have you heard?” Micah was always useful when it came to intel.

We turn at the sound of the door opening again, and this time, it’s Calix and Crimson walking through. “Guess the news that we’re back is out,” I mumble.

Calix heads to me and gives me a hug, slapping me on the back before heading for Ever, who he embraces for a second before stepping away.

I stare at him, as does everyone else, at his behaviour.

“Fuck off. We heard what happened to Ever in the cells, and you,” he defends. “We got a briefing from the general.” He looks at Ever again. I’ve never seen him touch anyone other than me or his sister outside of training, and hugging Ever sends my vision green on top of what I’m already feeling.

“What happened?” Micah asks, looking confused for a moment.