Page 60 of A Touch of Stars and Stones (Kirrian #1)

Ever will be training with Calix, and sure enough, as I close my door behind me, I hear footsteps and perhaps a smothered laugh as they leave the building.

My fists ball at my sides at the sound.

It drives me crazy that I want to shove Calix or yell at him. Zuns, growl into his face that he should leave Ever alone every time he’s within touching distance of her. But I have no claim or right to do that. He’s helping her, just like me.

Ever makes me irrational in a way that overrides sense, like nobody before, and it has dialled up every emotion, every feeling I have.

I count to five at my door before heading in the opposite direction, towards the food hall, and grab myself something to eat before making the journey over to Kamari’s office.

My hands are clammy as I climb the tower to her office. I have secrets I definitely don’t want her to know about now, and I’m nowhere near competent at blocking my emotions or shielding them from anyone yet.

After watching her in the hall with my father, knowing more about Ever than I’m happy with, I’m left with the question of trust and if Kamari is someone to keep it or sell us out. But she’s the head of the Guard Order. I need more information, and the plan involves getting that information.

The door is cracked, so I knock and push it the rest of the way open.

“Come in.” She’s pacing back and forth, her purple skirts billowing around her legs as she walks and doesn’t stop as I enter and stand near the bookcase on the left.

“Aten. Thank you for being so prompt. It’s been a busy week.”

I nod. She looks distracted, her attention elsewhere, and something about that sets my nerves on edge.

“Have you been practising? I want to know every detail of what you’ve seen with Ever.”

Here we go . There’s nothing I want to expand on past what happened in this office together, so I recount the initial visions, the colours and flashes of how it started between us, and the waterfall, but leave out any personal details there.

“So, she has the gift of seeing the future.”

“Possible futures,” I remind her.

I’m not ready to believe anything Ever sees is set in stone.

“We need to understand if she’s shown us anything that could be useful.” Her brows furrow, and she starts to pace again.

“She’s not a magical looking glass.”

“She is when you touch her. I said you could be powerful, and it could give us a huge advantage if you can learn to shape what and how she sees the future.”

“I can’t do that. That’s not how it works.”

“Oh? And here I was, thinking you were here to learn. Not tell me what is or isn’t possible.”

My jaw clenches shut.

“Do you really think that the extent of our power is reading people’s emotions?

” Her tone shifts to one I’d better recognise coming from my father.

“We are a weapon, Aten. We influence, misdirect, and sabotage. All with the power of our minds. You just need to accept that and practice. At all times, as I have said.”

“I am.”

“Good. Then you will have no problem mastering this with Ever and leading her to show us what we need.”

“What we need? Ever isn’t going to be used.” She looks at me then, and I realise I’ve fucked up.

Already.

“Do you think Azur suddenly thought he’d lead Ever into a maze in her mind? We guard ourselves, and we guard our minds so that we can lead where we will it to.” She stares at me as if waiting for me to catch on.

Have I been that short-sighted? Putting all the pieces of the jigsaw together, all the texts I’ve read, all the words I’ve heard, I realise Ever has been right. Everyone keeps secrets in this place.

“You lied,” I accuse. “I came to you for help, and you’ve consoled me with tricks and pieces of information, keeping what we’re really capable of a mystery to use to your advantage.” My words bite, and I can feel the strength in my muscles wanting to be set free.

“Did I?” She tilts her head and assesses me.

“I never lied to you. You could be great. But your mind is weak. It needs shields and defences, and you need to start thinking a little bigger than reading emotions. You will have picked up people’s intent, a gut feeling from them.

Look for more. Learn where their mind can take you and what they are hiding in the privacy of their thoughts.

It can be like planting a seed and letting it grow into something of your making.

So much potential.” She smiles, and a flash of cruelty and wickedness crosses her eyes, but it’s gone a second later.

And it sounds fucking terrifying.

This isn’t a side to her I’ve seen in the past, and it has me wondering just how honest she’s been with her magic and knowledge. The similarities to my father continue.

“You might want to go and have another conversation with your mother. She, after all, was a powerful Guard. Yet, nobody ever considered her.”

My mind rails at the thought of my mother being calculating and cruel, but Kamari’s right. Nobody ever considers my mother. My father and I included.

“And you?” I ask. She’s the head of the Order.

“Powerful, yes. Although perhaps I’ve played too well, for the teeth I possess have perhaps been forgotten.”

I take the warning as it’s meant.

“I’m not here to play games, Kamari. I came here for guidance. Not just for me. For Ever, too. But maybe I’m starting to see that nobody in the Orders wants to help someone with a power that could challenge you all.”

She stops at that, and I lock any defence I can around my mind, for whatever it’s worth. Her eyes flinch a fraction as she stares at me, and I feel it, that funny itch, the presence hovering like a strange aura.

“Ah, so, not just a pretty face. You’re learning. But not quite fast enough.” She gives me a knowing smile, and while there’s been no contact between us, I worry she’s been able to read everything in my mind.

“Training’s not a game,” I defend, my frustration rising with each beat of my heart.

“No. It is life and death!” she snaps. “Balance. After all, is that not what we are here for? Our divine duty, as bestowed upon us by Aslendrix. But do not discount the pull that power has. Or, how withholding that power can turn people bitter.”

“You’re talking in riddles, no better than my father.”

“Perhaps. But his time is coming to an end. We all knew that the moment he didn’t Advocate for you. He can’t hold on to his seat as his power begins to drain. Or had you forgotten that?”

No. I fucking hadn’t. It was a curse in some ways. Even if you kept your magic and didn’t pass on your powers, they’d still wither over time. Aslendrix didn’t grant us magic forever. The Maker has never disclosed why, only referring to the balance that is always sought.

“So, what is his plan? Why did he play that hand? And why is he so frightened?” she asks, but her questions sound like taunts. Like she already knows the answer, and she’s testing me.

“He’s not,” I lie and hope that I can keep that hidden. “He’s just as manipulative as you.”

“Really. And why the concern over dear Ever? Hmmm.”

“What about Ever?” My feet shift position, a defensive stance that I curse myself for falling into.

“Oh, Ten. It’s a little late to play the indifferent party when it comes to our newest Fifth.

You two have quite the connection, as you’ve already shown me.

Does your father know that?” Her eyes narrow, and I sense that she’s trying to read me again.

Get inside my head. At least I know she hasn’t shared our last meeting with him.

It’s the smallest win because nothing else has gone the way I wanted.

Well, fuck it, then . “Why don’t the Orders want Ever to learn what she’s capable of?”

“Are you sure about that?” She smiles.

She’s toying with me. Playing. Making me question everything. I take a step back, wanting as much distance between us as possible.

“The stage has been set for over twenty years, Aten. You have no influence on that. But maybe you might play a part in how it unfolds.”

What? What is she talking about? What happened twenty years ago? That’s something to focus on, at least. I intend to read any history book and find out what happened twenty years ago.

She loses interest in me then, back to pacing, and I move to the door.

“Your trials begin in a matter of days. I think these sessions are over.”

I nod and leave, more than eager to be out of that room.

But my mind is still running over every page I’ve studied, sorting and sifting through information with ease, looking for the right answer, the next step. It’s comforting to know my new magic isn’t just about manipulating and twisting minds, and it can be used for good.

Twenty years.

I’m twenty.

We’re all twenty, or thereabouts.

The trainees.

Ever.

This is about Ever. Twenty years ago, she was born.