Page 52 of A Touch of Stars and Stones (Kirrian #1)

“We have company, Ever.”

The snow vanishes as they drop their connection, and I wonder what power Kyra has to do that or if it’s mostly Ever.

I shift and walk the few steps towards her desk, where I drop the books Micah sent.

“What are those?” Kyra asks.

“Books.” My voice is gruff, and I curse to myself. I should not be so hostile towards her.

“We can see that. Who are they from?” Ever asks.

She’s turned her body so she’s sitting on the edge of the bed now. She’s had a bath and changed her clothes, and as I look at her, I see the slight blush on her cheeks as she watches me take her in, remembering the words from earlier.

“Micah. Said that there are more references to Fifths in there.”

“Really?” Hope springs from her voice, and it’s crippling.

“Is the dinner hall clear?” Kyra asks me.

“Err, more or less. You’ll be fine. I’ll walk you out if you wish.”

“No need.” She smiles at Ever, and they seem to giggle at one another before she slips out of the door, shutting us in together.

“What was that about?”

“Oh, nothing.” Laughter lingers in her words.

Despite the candles, it still feels dark in here, like the light itself is conspiring against my fucking mind.

Small droplets of water collect on the floor where the snowflakes have melted, the room still cool from their influence.

“It’s been hot today,” she mutters, and her eyes dart around the room, anywhere but at me, as if that’s enough of an explanation for the remanence of snow.

“It has. Novandia must be in a mood.”

She tilts her head at me, and I want to ask her why, but she beats me to a question.

“Have you really never been to those mountains? The ones with the snow. I thought you said you climbed them with Calix.” Her voice is soft. Tentative.

“Not where the snow sets. They’re deadly. Not to mention what dwells in them.” I think about the Sur’gos that made up our bedtime stories as a child—that and the Jarkoreth that dwell in the Variscite Forest.

“Okay, I think any more Kirrian information might be too much for today.” She huffs out a forced laugh. I keep forgetting how much of our world she doesn’t know about yet.

“No fairy tales tonight, then.” I pull out the chair at her desk and sit down before I change my mind and lie back on her bed.

“You offering bedtime stories now, Ten?” She smiles.

Goddess. I clench my jaw. “If you ask nicely, I’m sure I can come up with something to help you fall asleep. I promise.” The image of her wrapped in my arms, caged under my body, flashes to mind.

I surround the thought with the protective blocks Kamari has been teaching me, not wanting it to push into Ever’s mind. We weren’t practising yet, and I didn’t think that would be the best image to try and project into her mind, no matter how I might want to see how she reacts.

She’s gone through a lot this morning. My heart thumps harder inside my chest as I skirt around the memory.

Her eyes look to me, such a beautiful green, flecked with diamonds and stars.

I drop my head and rest my arms on my thighs. I’m going to break. Every part of my body screams to taste her. To kiss her lips. To touch her.

It’s irrational. Something is drawing me to her, and whatever connection we formed earlier is now wide open and crying out for it again.

One more fucking day. I can hold out one more day.

Because I’ll be damned if the first time I kiss her, I’m not wholly present for every fucking second. To memorise every gasp or moan, every slide of her tongue, every push of her lips.

The room is far too quiet, but I swear I can hear the racing of my heart, not content to bang quietly against my ribs. I risk looking up to her again. She holds my gaze, assessing, no dip of her eyes.

Calm. Quiet.

After what feels like an age, she stands up, slowly pulling her leg from under herself and planting her feet on the floor.

She’s wearing black trousers, a softer material than the training ones she was in earlier, but just as tight to her skin.

The top she’s chosen slips from her left shoulder, revealing the little hollow of her collarbone.

And then she starts towards me.

I immediately push back in my chair, trying to find any additional distance between us.

“Do you trust me?” she asks, only a foot away from me.

“Yes.” I make sure my answer comes out with no room for doubt.

And then she does the unthinkable.

She lifts her leg over my lap and straddles me, planting all her weight over my thighs.

Holy fucking Stars!

She keeps her hands at her sides, so it’s only our legs touching. No direct skin-to-skin contact.

“Ever,” I warn. Because whatever just ripped from my throat could only be heard as a warning.

“It’s an experiment.”

“In my level of fucking restraint!” My head drops back, and my hands reach backwards, finding the legs of the chair to cling to. I’m going to lose my fucking sanity.

Everything I’ve ever thought or imagined about Ever comes crashing to mind, swimming in front of my vision, so I scavenge for some semblance of a damn between my mind and hers.

If I have any strength as a Guard, I need it fucking now. You hear that, Aslendrix!

“After this morning, I have too many questions,” she starts, her breathing even but tinged with shyness.

“I want to see if we’ll be affected in the same way if we touch with something between us.

In this case, material. And Kyra told me that on either side of the new moon, our magic might start to fluctuate. So, here I am.”

“In my lap?” It takes everything in me not to flex my hips towards her. My cock is rock fucking hard, and if she moves, she’ll feel every fucking inch of me.

“You were the one using that mouth to tease me earlier. Call this payback,” she purrs.

“Ever—” My eyes open and look at her, desperate for her to have mercy.

“Are you in pain?” The shift in her is immediate. Her back straightens, and she pulls back. Her playful, wicked side is now full of concern.

“Oh, fuck no. In fact,” I close my eyes and take a few steadying breaths.

Heat. Energy. That familiar buzz that’s intoxicating and addictive, just a little fuzzy.

No pain. But it always starts like this.

My head is full of images. Images of her. Thoughts of what I want to do with her when there aren’t any barriers between us, my own mental torture. “No pain. Just…”

“Let me in.” There’s pleading in her voice. She’s asking to see. To test this. “Please.”

“Ever, we don’t…” I swallow the words. She wants to practise.

We both do, I just never imagined it could look and feel like this.

There’s a line, though, that we might not be able to step back from.

“If we do this…” She still doesn’t touch me, doesn’t raise her hands or push with her own magic to take down the weak shields keeping her from exploring.

“Please, Aten. I need this.”

“You might not like what’s in my head. And I need to know you’re okay.” There’s always been something between us, but this—mind-to-mind—feels dangerous on another level. “I might let you in, but I trust you to drop our connection if it’s too much.” She nods. “This is new for both of us.”

She’s still. Calm. Her chest rising with deep, measured breaths. She’s gifting me the choice and power. Maybe because she knows she could decimate me if she tried, and that every time we’ve touched, it’s been my choice to persevere. To keep her hand gripped in mine.

Slowly, very slowly, I loosen my mind and let all the instincts, emotions, and desires run through my mind.

We’ve not tried to force this before, but I think of my thoughts in her mind.

“Mmm,” her soft moan tells me she’s seeing everything that’s playing in my head. And then it hits me—I could feel her in the vision in the snow earlier. That was a possible version of the future. We both felt it. It wasn’t just an image we were in.

What if…

I concentrate on the image of her earlier, her nipples peeked under her top, but in my mind, I run the pad of my thumb over the tip, and my hand cups and squeezes her.

“Ten!”

“You can feel that?” I check, my voice hoarse with strain.

“Yes.” She pants. And I feel the slight rock of her hips as if in confirmation.

My grip tightens on the chair, my fingers digging so viciously that splinters might be next.

But my mind stays absolutely centred on Ever. Her body, my hands, tracing over her collarbone, trailing down her chest, gripping her hips.

She rolls her hips harder this time, but I keep the curse behind my teeth.

In my mind, I play with her nipple again. Running my thumb over and over, pressing it between my fingers.

“Stars, yes!”

But then the image in my mind stutters, like it did when we connected skin to skin.

I brace for pain or something that will transform me into the abyss that was watching her in that snow. But it’s neither. It’s her imagination. The view of Ever I’m seeing switches to my chest, my neck, her hands, her mouth.

Fucking Goddess, her mouth on my chest.

“Ever!”

“Shhh. Don’t stop it, pleeaseee…” she begs.

My eyes crack open, adjusting to the light, and I wish I had them open this whole time. Her bottom lip is pulled between her teeth, her head rolled back on her shoulders, her hand clutching her breast as if wanting to keep my imagined thoughts right there.

Her breathing is ragged, her movements on top of my thighs growing bolder and desperate. And Goddess, help me, she looks fucking gorgeous and sinful all at once.

Her hair hangs wild and free, and I want to bury my hand in it, hold her, caress her…

This is moving too fast. I’ll be fucking her in my mind if we don’t slow down.

“Ever…” I start, but the growl that comes from my throat only sounds like a possessive claim.

“You’ve got two options. One, you’re going to stand up, go and lie on that bed and wait for me to calm the fuck down before I come and talk you through making yourself come with those fingers.

All on your own. Or two.” I swallow. “You continue to think of all the things you want to do with me. I’ll continue imagining all the things I want to do with you, and our first time together, between us, the first time I fuck you, will only be in our minds.

Without me placing a finger on you.” I pause because that image is slowly working its way between us.

Her hand slips around my cock. We’re here, this same chair, only naked, her arm around my neck, hand in my hair….

“Ever! Stop. Fuck. I don’t want the first time between us to be in our minds.” It’s my time to plead and try to put up some kind of defence.

Kamari’s office. The snow. Anything to focus my mind on building up a defence against the one thing I want to run away with and let my imagination riot.

“I ache, Ten.” Her voice cracks, and my grip slips.

She is killing me. “I know. But I promise I’ll take that away,” I pant.