Page 63 of A Touch of Stars and Stones (Kirrian #1)

thirty-six

. . .

Ever

K yra grins at me, and she flits further into the room before finding a seat on the chair rather than joining me on the bed.

“There’s nothing, not really,” I deny what she might have seen or read between our body language.

“Oh, that was nothing? Well, how about we put the way you look at him and how he stares at you together with his crusade to ensure you are trained and protected? I’d say you need to work on why you’re trying to deny what everyone can see.

Which is not, nothing.” Every word is laced with humour and mirth, and she beams at me.

“Fine. Okay. I like him.”

“Is this why you were asking about touch the other day?” Her eyes shoot wide.

“Maybe. But it’s complicated.”

“Because of you being a Fifth, or something else?”

“Well, partly that.” I weigh up telling her everything and decide that to make true friends here, trust is needed. It isn’t fair for me to demand that without showing it in return.

Kyra has done nothing but be supportive. And she’s the only one I’d consider being close enough to share this kind of conversation with.

So, I fill her in.

The visions before the Transference, after the training, practice, and what happens when we do touch.

I don’t elaborate other than saying we didn’t touch skin-to-skin, and that it helped dull our power.

But I don’t skip the details he hid from me, and what he suspects his father knows about my parents.

It all races out of me as if it’s been building up, waiting for release.

Kyra just listens, smiling and grinning and moving herself closer when I tell her about the waterfall and the kiss. I keep the more intimate details and the fact that we can talk inside each other’s minds and project visions to myself.

And, while I have nothing to compare it to, I imagine this to be one of the most normal things I’ve done since arriving here. Sharing the excitement of feelings for a boy with a friend.

My heart drifts to Lyle, and I wonder if I’d have found the same warmth and comfort from her. Probably. I know I’d be excited to tell her, but maybe a little more nervous about spilling the details.

“What’s that look for?” Kyra asks. “You’ve been grinning and practically glowing as you’ve filled me in, and now…”

“I was thinking about Lyle. I miss her, and kind of thought I’d be sharing things like this with her. And that maybe she did know more than she let on?” I look at Kyra as if she holds the answers I seek.

“Well, I know that she had a pretty rotten time of it here, especially given her living quarters, and if she did know more than she said, she had some serious determination to keep it hidden.” Her eyes dart away, and she brings me the plate of snacks that I’d forgotten with Ten in the room.

I take one of the slices of bread and sink my teeth into the generous spread of butter that’s just the perfect mix of salt and cream, rich and morish.

“Do you think anyone will let me go and visit her? Or allow her to come back and see me?”

“Not until after the trials, at least. None of the trainees are permitted to leave until after.”

“Will you tell me about your trials? Only if you’re happy to, of course?”

“Yes. I’ll tell you before your trial, but not tonight. Now, I know we’re meant to be practising, but Ten said you’re tired, and the shadows hovering under your eyes do not lie. You’ll have another tough day tomorrow.”

“But we don’t have time for me to figure all of this out, right? I need to be ready?—”

“You need to be strong and not collapse before the first trial has even finished. Sleep, dinner, and you can practise with Micah or Calix. Or maybe Ten will come back again.” Her voice dances at the end.

“Stop it. I have to practise with him, too. I just don’t want him to be in pain all the time.” I take another bite of bread.

“Ten’s powerful, Ever. Remember that. And I know you haven’t forgotten his father or what happened the first time you met him. I don’t think anyone is under the illusion they can get Aten or Orion Ciro to do anything they don’t already want to do.”

I finish my bread, mulling over her words. She seems to see them both in the same light, but I’ve always noted their differences or hoped they would be different.

“Now, nap. Rest. We can catch up tomorrow, but I like that we can chat boys, too.”

“Maybe I can return the favour and be the one to listen to your problems next time.”

She pauses, considering. “We’ll see.” All the light vanishes from her voice at that suggestion, and I want to ask her what happened, sensing that there might be a story there, maybe not a happy one.

“Tomorrow, then.”

She offers one last grin as she leaves, and then I bury my head against the pillow, savouring the softness that’s already pulling me under before I’ve even closed my eyes, vanishing into the dark.

Invisibility seems to have been the highlight of the newfound powers amongst us, at least in Rowan’s eyes.

After spending the morning going through a range of mixes of magics, all with me, he finally relents and allows us to split into groups to start exploring other combinations.

If they all focus on me, we’ll be here for weeks, and it won’t be beneficial to the others.

This is their opportunity to find their Triune, not just work out what I can do.

Training outside is easier, less confining, and it stops me from feeling like I’m under a looking glass.

The Custodians still all observe, Perrin’s presence more reassuring out in the open rather than sequestered away in the classroom next to where we practise.

And with a little help from Ten and Calix picking our group, we’re together, along with Micah and Ravi.

The outdoor space is appreciated when Calix and I connect with Ravi.

He’d needed some gentle persuasion from Calix, and Ten kept a safe distance, but he stands up to me, his jet-black hair gleaming in the sun.

Where we had generated a rainstorm just the two of us, adding Calix into the mix turned that into a much bigger, much darker thunderstorm, with clouds rolling in, conjured from nowhere, splitting the air around us with growls and crackles as if Aslendrix were warring with someone in the skies above.

There is logic in our combined gift that makes sense, like a sum, the single parts adding to the whole. Nothing like what happens with me and Ten, though.

When Micah switches with Ravi, the usual tremors start, but then the threads of power that I feel channel, and I force them down into the ground.

It cracks the earth apart at our feet, a gaping wound, jagged and brutal, splitting through the outline of the third training ring for over twenty metres.

Calix is like a kid, the glee bouncing from him as if his power just grows in him again. But I can see the edge of panic in Micah and in Ten as the ground opens up around us.

As we keep working through pairings, there’s an air of anticipation as we edge towards Ten, Calix, and me combining. So far, I’ve not hurt Calix, only amplified him or drained him.

What the three of us might accomplish has my mind dancing, but it’s shadowed with worry. What if it strengthens the pain, which I cause Ten?

And it isn’t just me feeling anxious. A collective intake of breath whispers around us as we step forward, our eyes going between each other. Ten’s brows are drawn, and even Calix’s blue eyes seem edged with worry.

We nod, and I raise my hands. There have been multiple ways of forming the connection, but directly touching hands seems to be the easiest and least threatening.

I watch Ten as he tries to hide the initial jolt and inevitable rush of pain. Calix simply takes a breath, and my mind stays clear. No visions, no possible futures.

“Ten?” I ask.

“Nothing. Cal?”

“I feel fine. Nothing.”

“Is that it? All this, and you have nothing.” Crimson’s voice drips with amusement as if she’s rubbing our faces in it. Her voice breaks into a cocky laugh, and I whip my head towards her. I didn’t notice her approach and see that all the other trainees have stopped to watch, too.

She steps forward and raises her arm as if she’s going to slap Ten’s shoulder or put her arm around him. Her blatant approach scrapes against every instinct in me to shove whatever weapon I can lay my hands on at her, but her hand doesn’t reach Ten. It hits a barrier, throwing her back a step.

The smile disappears from her lips, replaced with confusion as she tries to reach us again and fails.

She growls her frustration, but I stop myself from giving her all my attention and focus on Calix and Ten. I concentrate on their power, looking for it, and find a web of energy protecting us.

Calix turns towards his sister and beckons her with a jerk of his head, and I fight my own eye roll. “Calix, we don’t know…”

Crimson launches towards him, a blade I hadn’t seen yet, drawn and raised in her dominant hand.

“Oh, shit,” I mutter, but my feet stay put, forcing myself not to blanch or flinch as Calix positions to take the blow. But her blade just glides off the invisible forcefield around us.

“Bad luck, sis,” he taunts.

“Ten?” I check again.

“I’m fine.” But I recognise the strain around his eyes and his locked jaw.

“We can stop,” I offer.

“No.” He spears his eyes to mine, determination set in them. “Rowan,” he calls. “Have everyone use their individual powers against us to try and break through the shield.”

“Are you sure about this?” I look between him and Calix.

“Yes. We need to test what the limits are. Now, can we all focus?” Ten orders.

“Can you two feel the energy around us? Like a tangle of threads woven together?” I ask.

Calix shifts his gaze, and his feet scuff in the dirt.

“You don’t?” I check.

“I think people feel their power and gifts differently,” Ten offers, a tight smile on his lips.

Micah and Ravi both attempt to break through the barrier first, but their magic is limited alone. They fail, but the rain gives a momentary glimpse of the dome around us, shielding us.

Nobody makes it through. We stay safe, warm and dry within the clear, magical forcefield around us.

“Could come in useful,” Calix seems bored as he says it.

“If you can train to expand past the three of you, yes. Quite the gift,” Rowan muses, and I wonder what plan he’s concocting.

Ten’s brow is damp with sweat, the pain now clear on his face. Even this is causing him pain, and a little spark of hope, smouldering in my chest, that we’d be able to have any direct touch without him experiencing pain, fizzles out.

We break our connection, and Ten takes a minute, walking off, away from us all.

As more gifts emerge from the trainees working together, I start to wonder just how this information translates into jobs and functions within the world of The Court and Kirrasia. How did what we learn here shape people’s roles within the community?

Kyra can create a cool breeze, not overly impressive against some things I’ve seen, but it didn’t match with her tending to visitors and members of The Chamber as a servant.

My questions flit in and out of my mind, and I try to order them for when I have time to enjoy reading about the world that I’m now a part of, even if it’s temporary.

Our classroom lesson in the afternoon picks up where we left off and looks at the famous Triune’s again, something that the Custodians seem to try and emphasise, despite the scepticism from my fellow trainees.

I haven’t seen what Calix, Ten, and Crimson can do together, and I wonder what could be so special to think they’d dedicate their whole lives to each other, forsaking everyone else, at least from Crimson’s perspective.

Over the next few days, we fall into a routine. Physical training with Calix in the morning, dragging me from much-needed sleep. More experiments, fewer surprises, but more pain for Ten and a growing sense of exhaustion by the end of the day.

Kyra visits, and we chat and practise. I train with Capella and Ten in between, Micah often missing, claiming research until he shows up with something else for us to read. We scour any and all books we can find for anything that gives us a clue about what is being hidden from us.

Many evenings end with me falling asleep in bed, a book open on my chest.

Ten seemed to focus on the work, too. Almost obsessively. And I know he is practising his own Guard ability, though he doesn’t go back to Kamari, and he doesn’t trust Azur. In fact, I’m not sure if Ten trusts anyone anymore, and I lament what might have been if I’d never arrived in Kirrasia.

In the midst of everything, we don’t try speaking mind to mind, and I worry he’s putting distance between us or a safety barrier, perhaps.

All that heat and anticipation that has built just feels trapped, locked in stasis between us without any way to expel it, short of causing him anguish.

The fear that the rewards won’t outweigh the cost to him thread into my mind and start creating its own wall between us, too.

As the days merge together, it becomes hard to approach him or know where to start. So, I focused on work and training. My body is starting to feel fitter and stronger, even after only a few weeks of working harder, like it has finally conceded that it will cooperate with Calix’s instructions.

And the well in the centre of my chest ripples and pulses with energy whenever I think of it, as though it’s anticipating what will happen next, and how it can use the power now amassing within.

The calming exercises with Kyra, along with more practising in class, seem to help me master my gift, and as it grows, so does the control I gain over it.

But as the days start to run together even faster, I realise that with the growing power in my centre that Ten is bearing more and more pain when we touch. My strength is his weakness, and it’s driving a painful wedge between us.

We barely see each other alone, and I don’t need to ask him to explain because I know. I can feel him when we touch now. I’m attuned to him. And he’s doing the only thing he can, putting up shields and pulling back from me.

The next new moon feels too far away, but it’s what I’m focused on, being able to touch without pain plaguing Ten.

I just need to overcome the initial trial first.