Page 30 of A Touch of Stars and Stones (Kirrian #1)

seventeen

. . .

Ever

T he weight of the chain around my neck feels like a noose, ready to choke the life from me. Drain me. But, out of defiance, if nothing else, I keep my head high as I continue the walk back to The Court, following the few people in the procession ahead of me.

Nobody has uttered a word, provided an explanation, or told me what a Fifth is.

And, alarmingly, I can sense the underlying fear of everyone through the very steps I take, as if the ground is now my personal whisperer, telling me its secrets.

It seems the people who gathered to watch the ceremony—watch my anguish—have spread the news because the happy, celebratory feeling that infused The Court and homes as I walked out here now feels still and silent, all eyes on me as I walk the cobbled streets, much like the first time I came here.

Judgement. Concern. And fear, all etched on their faces, before they turn away from my eyes.

Gosh, how was it only a few weeks ago?

Nobody speaks, but I endure the discomfort, the feeling of wanting to crack open and falter. I won’t let them have this. I won’t let them see my weakness.

The pain on that altar—the sheer terror flaming to life inside of my mind—now tells me that I can suffer far more than I ever thought possible. And I will bend that knowledge into a shield so thick, so complete, that I will never have to feel pain like it again.

Nobody will see that side of me or witness my pain ever again. That is mine alone.

As we reach The Tower, I turn to see the rest of the people who stayed to observe the completion of my Transference. I’d expected some grand words, gestures—anything. Not this… silence. An anti-climax for sure.

Not even the Maker speaks, verbally or through my mind.

She watches me, though.

So, with a newfound courage, I step towards her, seeking her out, and look deep into those scarred and hollow eyes. At least where they once were. “What now, Witch?” I push my voice into her head.

“Now, you train.”

She turns from me and vanishes with the others of her Triune back into The Tower.

I turn to Lyle, who looks as pale as winter.

That bleak look she first wore as we fled here, now reaffirmed.

I’m not entirely sure what took place between us during the Transference, although I was aware of her.

She didn’t stop it. I’m not the same Order as her, or anyone else.

But she played a part, and I choose to believe she didn’t know what would happen to me—what has happened to me.

I don’t feel… different. There was no rush, no strength suddenly inside of me.

Maybe a Fifth is a mistake. There aren’t any mentions in the books I’ve read, and that might be the reason. Micah said not to expect too much.

“Thank you for your service, Lyle,” Orion Ciro bellows, attracting everyone’s attention. “For your crime of harbouring a Fifth, you are hereby banished from Kirrasia.”

“What?” I whirl and look between the people standing behind me, watching Orion.

Even in the dim light, his eyes shine with darkness.

“No!” I start. “No, you can’t do that. She didn’t know.

She can’t leave me.” My panic grips, focusing my mind on the events now unfolding as I tear my eyes from his harsh ones to Lyle’s.

The same look of fear that I first saw when I came to on the floor of our home now coats her face. But there is more. There’s sadness. Heartache. Both call to me in a way only I can understand—recognise—because it’s a mirror of what I’m feeling now.

“She is a Watcher. She was careless. And despite her time under our… care, now she must leave.” His words are harsh and filled with anger as if it is Lyle and not their almighty Goddess at fault.

“It’s fine, Ever. I have our home to return to. My life.”

“Our home. Our life. I can come with you,” I state.

A collective gasp sounds around us. “You must complete your training to master your power. Only then will your path be decided. That is the order of things. We cannot let you go back to Estereah,” Kamari states, her voice firm but kind, unlike the blunt command of Orion Ciro’s.

“You don’t get to choose for me. I can?—”

“You must train, Ever. Understand your magic,” Lyle interrupts me, settling my frayed nerves.

I want to crack. I want to sob. I want to rage.

But the look on Lyle’s face halts everything from erupting. She’s resigned. She wants me to stay.

“But I can return? After training.” I school my pain and clarify, my eyes jumping between Lyle and Kamari’s stare.

She only nods.

I run to Lyle and throw my arms around her, hugging her fiercely with no concern for hurting her with my touch, in the hope that this may convey how I feel—how much I love her despite these events.

“There must be another way,” my words are muffled against her.

“Not that keeps you safe.” She squeezes me harder. “You may face dangers, now that you are revealed.”

“What does that mean?” I push my question to her, focusing on that single question and her, to learn how I might control my thoughts towards someone, now it seems to be happening more and more.

Lyle looks at me as if she hadn’t expected to hear my voice in her head.

“Be careful, Ever. Especially now. I’m so sorry that I didn’t prepare you for this. But I will forever be waiting—watching—if you need me. I love you.”

The words are comforting and add to the threads that bind us together as my arms loosen their grip. I know tears have filled my eyes, and I swore I wouldn’t show weakness, but for Lyle, I’ll let them fall, regardless of who sees.

She is the only family I have ever known, and they are taking her from me. She was kept from me, deliberately, if the gleam in Orion’s eyes is anything to go by, and now this? My hatred for this man now solidifies in my very soul.

“Steal yourself. You have done so well over these last few weeks. And now, you are unchecked. Your power is contained and malleable. Use it. And don’t let them see your fear.”

Why all the warnings about that? “I promise.”

She nods to me, and I vow that it won’t be the final time I see her as she walks away, flanked by three Warrior guards.

She doesn’t look back.

My head aches, a pulsing at my temples and towards the back of my mind as I come around from sleep. If it wasn’t for that, maybe I could pretend yesterday didn’t happen.

Kyra, I notice through a half-cracked eyelid, is buzzing around the room, not trying to disturb me but not being particularly quiet, either.

“Good… afternoon,” she greets.

“Afternoon?” I check.

She giggles. “Don’t worry. It’s quite normal to be worn out after the Transference. It can be quite draining as you grow used to your new… power.” She pauses. “Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t fix.” But her eyes don’t quite hold the same carefree air that she so easily displayed before.

“I…”

The Transference. The pain. The darkness. It all rushes back, accompanied by an urgency of feeling, pushing against me like a physical wind beating me back. Something wants to be heard, to be noticed.

“Breakfast. Or at least lunch. Then you can go and join the rest of the trainees, and I can finish your move.”

“Move?” The distraction stops me from lingering further, and I shove that eerie feeling aside and find a heap of emotion in its place.

But my heart speeds up at the thought of purpose.

The invitation to stay here, sequestered in The Chamber rooms, has expired—rescinded now that I’m officially a trainee.

Now, I’ll be living with the rest of them.

Ten.

“Will you be—” I start, wanting to know if Kyra will come with me, but unsure how to ask.

“No.” She turns away. “But maybe you can come to visit. It is not my place to be with the trainees. But, despite my orders, I believe we could be friends. It’s not common for servants to be well acquainted with Chamber guests.”

“We’re friends.” She’s one of the only people I can call that, and I need a friend even more now that Lyle’s gone. “As long as you don’t try to shove any more dresses on me.” I try to lighten the seriousness of the conversation.

“Oh, Ever.” She sighs. “You look so beautiful in a dress.” She beams, and I smile in kindness.

She has been lovely, after all. I don’t know what I would have done if she hadn’t been here for me.

I haven’t given her enough credit for her support.

But I want desperately to ensure I don’t make that mistake again.

“I promise that I will be at your door for any dress emergencies.” I play along and hope she hears the thanks in my words.

“Micah will keep you safe at training. At least to the best of his power.” She gives a gentle nod before heading from the main room, leaving me to pull myself from bed.

The dress from last night hangs on the wardrobe as I walk past to the bathing room. In the small mirror over the basin, I look at the pendant now around my throat. With everything that happened last night, I didn’t want to look at it, not too closely, a constant reminder that it cost me Lyle.

Now I pick it up between my fingers and assess it.

Framed by two crescent moons of gold is an oval disk, also in gold. And at the centre, a dark stone, glinting and hinting of colours and riches in its sparkly depths.

Small lines radiate from the stone, making it look like the sun—a dark and dangerous version of the sun, at least, the moon holding it hostage.

I drop it back to where it now lives, at the base of my throat, raise my hand and study the ring I’ve grown accustomed to wearing since leaving my home. The same dark stone, just smaller, sits in the centre, in a similar gold disk with a single crescent moon at the base.

They could be a pair. Similar enough, yet the material is different, the colouring of the gold, the texture…

Flashes of images spear into my mind, stuttering one after the other. Flames, the forest, the sky, the sun, all running into one another.