Page 38 of A Touch of Stars and Stones (Kirrian #1)

twenty-one

. . .

Ever

T he relief of shutting the door behind me is like the hit of early morning light washing over you, turning everything a little brighter, a little more positive. I can finally relax.

My mind takes a mental inventory of my body. Weak. Tired. Drained.

There is no point studying now, so my feet drag me to the bed, and I ignore the books on the desk. I’d only re-read the same line over and over again without processing the words.

I’m too tired even to take my boots off.

And my eyes close in an instant.

“I don’t know how you’re going to get through training. You’re always asleep.” I recognise the voice, and it brings a smile to my face despite the internal groan that I’m now awake.

“Perhaps you should stop waking me up, and I might get the sleep I need to stay awake and not be tired all the time.” I right my body and see Kyra sitting in the chair next to the desk. “It’s nice to see you.”

“Micah told me you had a tough day.”

“You could say that. What time is it?” It’s gloomy in the room with little light coming through the window and a few candles already lit.

“Still time for dinner if you want to go and get something to eat.”

“I’d rather spend some time with you.” I lift my boots to the bed to unlace them, happy to push them off my feet and let them drop to the floor before crossing my legs on the bed to face her. “Did Micah say anything else about today?”

“That you took a pounding from Calix. And that the Custodians have training revolving around finding out your power.”

“You got the highlights then.” I drop my head and twist my body, loosening the stiffness that had seized me up during my nap.

“There was a Warrior in my training year. Perrin and I got to know each other pretty well,” she huffs. “Speaking of which.” She nods to the small vial and mug set on the desk. “Drink all of it with water. It will help with any internal bruises. And the external ones.”

I see her looking over my skin, and the marks I assume have blossomed despite being stitched back together.

“What happened to him, the Warrior?” I clear my throat and change the subject.

“ She was strong. The perfect Warrior. So, naturally, completed all four trials and went off to the army. At least, that’s what I assume. Most Warriors go straight into the army, serve their basic training, and then get deployed.”

“I thought Kirrasia was peaceful.”

“It is. And has been for many years. But I doubt that’s by luck.

Our Warriors are stationed all over Sunatora and Nehandun.

” She pauses. “Training is hard. We all do our best.” She stands and shrugs her shoulders like it’s as simple as that.

She picks up a book and crosses the room towards me. “Here.”

I take the thick, slightly dusty volume.

“I’m stretching the remit of my role to look after you and thought you could do with some answers.”

I look at her, then at the text in my hand. “What is it?”

“It’s an account of the Orders. But there are several pages missing.

And several mentions of the Fifth.” She sits on the bed next to me.

“I watched them, the Orders, when you first went to meet them. I’ve never seen them like that.

They are hiding something, and I hate that you seem to be in the dark all the time. ”

“You’re helping me?”

She rolls her eyes at me. “I’ve been helping you since I was asked to. And now I want to because I know you a little better. That shouldn’t be a shock.”

“It’s not a shock. I’m sorry. I want us to be friends. I guess I’m getting used to what that’s like. I don’t have a lot of experience and would never expect anything from you.” My eyes lift to hers, and that overwhelming feeling to reach out and hold her hand or hug her is right there again.

“I’ve lived at The Court my entire life, and I don’t like the assumption that The Chamber members and their families are better than the rest of us.

They’ve grown their strength, generation after generation, and sometimes I think they forget there’s a whole other side to Kirrasia that’s not just about strength. ”

“Wow.”

She smiles and turns away.

“Can I ask you something? You don’t have to tell me.”

“Go ahead.” She stands near the door.

“What’s your magic? Your power? I know you’re Elemental.”

She pulls the chain from around her neck, and I see the small blue stone, similar to Lyle’s and Micah’s. “I can influence the wind. Not much, but a swirl here or there.” She lifts her hand, and a faint breeze trickles through the room, sweeping over the flames and plunging us into the dark.

“Nice. Don’t suppose you can re-light them?” I blink my eyes until they adjust in the dark.

“Sorry. One way only. Even when I was training, it didn’t seem to change with practice.

And it’s not strong enough to cause any real damage.

Connecting to a Warrior helps strengthen it to a short gust, but that’s about it.

” She’s moving around the room. I hear the flick and crackle of a match, and light returns to the room.

“Are the trials really that bad?” I blurt.

“Well, that’s the problem. They change. Each year, they’re different depending on who’s setting them. But there will be one designed by each Order.” She takes a seat perched on the bed next to me.

“And people leave after the trials?”

“Sometimes. Not always.”

“It feels like there’s still so much for me to learn about what it’s like to be Kirrian. What your traditions are. What you can and can’t do. Like the touch thing.”

“You’ll pick it up. There’s plenty of time for that. You need to focus on how to control and work with your magic. That’s what training is for, remember.”

I grab one of the pillows and place it in my lap as if wanting the extra comfort.

“Do you think Lyle knew about what I am? Is that why she kept me hidden?”

My eyes study the fine embroidery of the fabric so I don’t have to risk any sign of pity in Kyra’s eyes. “You at least met Lyle.”

“I think she was scared for you. And, from what you’ve said, there was no reason to suspect until recently. I don’t think the Orders saw it that way, though. Hence… well.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s a Watcher. It was her job. And not only did she miss your early signs, but you’ve got a power that no one’s seen for years.”

“She couldn’t have known about me being a Fifth.” I contradict my earlier question because the sting of betrayal that I could have this rare and powerful gift, and that she not only hid that, but everything else about Kirrasia, is too great.

I look back at Kyra, who, thankfully, doesn’t argue the point further.

“You know, it’s hard not to feel alone here. And lost. Like I’m stumbling along a path I can’t see the edges of or where it leads.” I fall back on the bed and look up at the ceiling. “The Transference has made things so much worse.”

“You’re not alone. I meant what I said earlier. I want to help, and I like the idea of us being friends. You’re strong and have a ton of courage. When you stood your ground and pushed Orion, I thought you might be sent to the cells or worse.”

I chuff out a laugh. “You and me both.”

“Remember that you’re capable of that strength. You did that without knowing anything about who you really are.”

Her words comfort me more than I expect, but they don’t push out the doubt in my mind when talking about Lyle. She never mentioned who my real parents were, and now, perhaps that’s a key to unlocking what my magic is all about?

She didn’t give me any reason to think of them before. I felt loved and cared for. Why would I when I had everything…

Stop.

I can’t go down that path. “Kyra?”

“Yes?” her sing-song voice answers on a chirp.

“Would you… train with me?”

“Train?”

I sit up and raise my hand. “Touch. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to learn to master and control, but I have no idea how. Aurelia gave me a handful of useful instructions, but apart from that, the Custodians are rubbish teachers in that regard,” I tag on. “Would you just let me try?”

“It’s not really commonplace outside of training. Touch is limited between Kirrians until you find who you match with. Or a Triune.” Her answer is reserved and formal, and I regret my rash request.

“I’m sorry. I got carried away. It’s fine?—”

“No, I can. It’s maybe safer with me. I was born under a waxing crescent, only a few days from a new moon, so my power is limited. Even more than my brother’s.”

“I thought Aslendrix grants you magic? And your Advocate?”

“It’s a combination, when you are born during which phase of Aslendrix will signify your own strength of power to wield magic.”

“I don’t know when I was born.” My words are soft, but I swallow the rising emotion and focus. “But I promise I’ll be careful. At least, I think I can be. This is the whole point.”

“I know. Micah told me that you’ve never hurt him, just boosted his ability.”

“Sometimes it feels like I’m a conductor, even before the Transference. It feels like I can absorb power or make it bigger somehow, push it or pull it. I guess I need to learn what I can do.”

“Think of it like a well inside of you. Aslendrix will naturally fill that well during her phases. New moon to new moon. Your stone will act as an anchor and conduit to help the ebb and flow, and as you tap into the power and use it, it will drain. Or you’ll use others’ power to boost it.

Think of your power as one colour, and when you connect with another, the colour will mix and change.

When you reach the point of connecting with two others, that’s when things can get tough.

Because it’s past simply mixing the two, then.

Completely new abilities can form. That’s why training takes so long and can be so hard.

Three is our sacred number, and it’s because of what some can do when connected to others. ”

Listening to Kyra’s explanation is like watching the candle light the room again, finally allowing me to see and understand.

“What are you smiling at?” she asks.