Page 23 of A Touch of Stars and Stones (Kirrian #1)

“Fuck it.” I bang my fist on her door. But there’s no answer. I raise my fist again and listen instead of bringing it against the solid wood.

Is Micah still with her? It was bad enough in the classroom, but now, my heart begins to race at the thought of him in her room. A stupid fucking response.

I’ve never been jealous in my life.

My fist connects again, beating on the door.

“Alright, alright,” I hear her complain a second before she flings the door open, her eyes popping wide as she takes me in. Before they narrow a fraction. “Oh. It’s you.”

“Were you expecting someone else?” The disappointment at her words bruises.

“No. It’s just— I wasn’t expecting you.” She pushes her hair behind her ear and leans into the door, looking at me with such intensity, it’s unnerving.

“I can go if you have company.” I step back.

“Company? No. It’s fine. Come in.” She seems to snap out of whatever she’s thinking and leaves the door open as she hurries into the room.

I step in and follow, looking around, and she rushes towards the room at the far end, closing the door to it and turning back to me.

“What do you want?” She crosses her arms over her chest.

It’s my turn to stare. She looks different from how I keep picturing her from the other night.

Anxious, maybe or uncertain. It’s like she’s showing me different versions of herself every time we’re together, and it spurs me on to find out just how many versions of her there are.

Only my mind seems to stop on the vision of her the other night.

I force myself to stop dwelling on her lying on the ground, thrashing against whatever vision was running through her mind.

“Don’t be defensive.”

She rolls her eyes. “Fine. What can I do for you, Ten?” She offers a fake smile before going to one of the couches and curling her legs under her as she sits.

“You’re back to training. No more weird treatment.” She looks up at me with hope in her eyes, so bright it’s blinding.

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s still a no for the practical training, but… that will come in time.” I step around the words that I know won’t do either of us any favours.

“And you thought you’d deliver the good news yourself.”

“Kind of. We fought Rowan to let you in. Plus, I did say I would help you.” I want to remind her that it’s not just Micah fucking Star who wants to look out for her.

“We?”

I lean on the back of the couch opposite her, resting my hands on the firm back. “The rest of us. Your fellow trainees.”

“Why would they do that? None of you know me.” She pulls her gaze to her hands in her lap, and it reminds me how alone she is here.

“Raiden was pretty adamant. Even Calix, too. We might not know you personally, but the tradition of training is important to all of us. It’s a cornerstone of everything here in Kirrasia. You’re a part of that now, like it or not. Maybe tomorrow we can start properly.”

The room quietens as I wait for her to respond.

“Can I ask you something?” She looks up, and the hope of a moment ago is crushed by worry.

“Sure.” My heart beats a little harder, and I hope she doesn’t bring up the Transference again.

“Have you ever met another Kirrian like me?”

It shouldn’t make me smile, but it does. No, is the simplest answer and begs to be said aloud, but I hesitate because there are two ways to answer that, at least in my head.

The answer’s the same for both.

“I’m going to take that prolonged silence as you’re not sure how to answer.” She fidgets, pulling her left foot from under her and glancing at the door she closed. “Well, have you ever met a trainee who can do what I’ve done?”

“No.” I shake my head. “But that?—”

She stands, interpreting me. “Ten, there’s nothing that even sounds like me.” She heads to the closed door, opens it, and comes back with a fat book in her arms. “Sure, parts, but it’s all mixed up,” she continues.

“Where did you get that?” My eyes lock onto the text and recognise it. My father worked on the latest version of it for nearly three years.

“Call it bedtime reading. But you’ve not answered my question.” She holds my gaze.

I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know what to say. I’ve never met anyone like you before.” The words pop her eyes wide again, and I follow the flush of colour over her cheeks, which only makes me want to smile. She’s affected by me.

I step out from behind the couch and cross to where she’s standing and staring. With a lot more care than I would usually use, I take the book from her, all the while noticing her eyes riveted on me.

“Don’t compare yourself to something written in here or not written in here. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.”

“Your Transference.”

I can’t avoid it altogether, not when it’s such an important rite.

“Yeah. It can take all this uncertainty away. I promise.” The weight of the text grows, and I place it on the table and glance down at the purple stone in my cuff.

“I read that I’ll get something like that from the Maker?”

“Yeah.” I turn back to her. “All of us do. It helps to contain the power that Aslendrix shares with us, harness it and use it. You don’t have that yet.

You’re… pure.” It’s the word that feels more fitting for her.

“You’re powerful. And it’s spilling out of you in an unusual way, that’s all.

” As I say it, I pray to Aslendrix that it’s the truth.

She steps forward, and that urge to touch her beats inside of me again, drawing me in. My mind runs over all the possibilities of what she’ll be, what Order she’ll belong to, and what it will be like to touch her when there’s no fear of what will happen.

I swallow.

And step back.

And think of the date and how close we are to the full moon and the new moon.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

“Nothing is wrong, I promise.” I smile.

“Are you going to tell your father?”

“About the book? Stars, no.”

“Your mother?”

“Why would I? And I’ve not spoken to her since last night.”

She nods.

I should leave. But my feet refuse to move.

“Training starts at sunrise tomorrow. I’d suggest being on time. It would help if you were in the training residence with us all.” I wink, lightening the heaviness that’s settled between us.

“I’m working on it.”