Page 9 of A Letter in the Wind (Mayhem and Scandal Collection #1)

Elizabeth fussed with her hair before selecting a bonnet and setting out for her morning walk. She laughed at herself. Worrying about her hair when it would be covered with a hat was ridiculous. She almost reached for a small brim that would expose more of her hair, but that was nonsensical for a walk on such a breezy morning. She had also nearly grabbed her now destroyed gloves. She did not want to say it to Darcy, but they were her favourite pair for everyday wear.

Additionally, she had just bought them before leaving Hertfordshire. Regardless, dogs would be dogs. The little terriers were too adorable for her to be angry with them.

As she walked, she thought over the last few days’ events. What exactly was it that she wanted from Mr Darcy? He had apologised to her and was setting things right with Jane and Bingley. Elizabeth doubted that her sister would have taken offence to Darcy’s letter the way she had. It had been folly to tear it up and chastise him. At the time, she ought to have believed it was more plausible that he would have refused to rewrite it. Instead, he showed true humility.

Elizabeth sighed. Mr Darcy was not what she first thought. Then, it seemed he was even worse than what she had believed. Now, it appeared she had it all wrong again. Was she doomed to forever misunderstand people? She used to pride herself on quickly making out one’s character. Indeed, she had learned it at an early age for perceiving her mother’s moods was necessary.

Mrs Bennet had despised her second daughter since birth. Elizabeth took a deep breath and slowly let it out. She focused on watching her feet. It stung to think about her mother’s rejection. She had never known anything different, yet the poor treatment wounded her. Perhaps that is why she sought approval from others. Not everyone, of course. She was not that desperate. Then why had Darcy’s disapproval meant so much to her? Perhaps it was all down to the timing.

“Miss Bennet!” A familiar voice hailed her. “Good morning!”

Elizabeth looked up, surprised to see Darcy smiling so broadly. She returned the greeting. He offered her his arm, and after she took it, they set off. He touched her hand, drawing her notice.

“These are pretty,” he said about her gloves. “They suit you.”

“Thank you, sir.” Since when did gentlemen care about a lady’s gloves? “I have had these for a few years. You probably cannot tell the difference, but these are not quite the fashion anymore.”

“Well, I did not notice. How strange that gloves can go in and out of style. It is not so with gentlemen. I have had the same style of black gloves for as long as I can remember.” Darcy held up his free hand.

“I do not desire to be a fashion plate. I never keep up with the latest trends but do not wish to look strange.” She shrugged her shoulders. “You have seen how little there is to do in Meryton. My sisters and I frequently walk into town. Shopping can occupy our time and get us out of the house. Unlike most of my sisters, I seldom make purchases out of boredom or for vanity’s sake.”

“Ah, I see. Buying the ones that Ethel and Lucy destroyed was a rare treat?”

“Sometimes a lady grows tired of the same old thing. I suppose I am not impervious to that.” She had gone shopping to distract herself from troubles at home. She had bought them to present a facade before leaving for Kent.

“On that note, may I present these?” He pulled a small package from his coat pocket.

Elizabeth began to reach for the box, then hesitated.

He seemed to perceive the reason for her reluctance. “They’re from Aunt Silly, of course.”

With her mind at ease, Elizabeth gladly took the package from his hands. Upon opening them, she found the most beautiful pair of day gloves she had ever owned. She fingered the pretty embroidered lilac flowers with twisting ivy atop buff York tan. “These are beautiful! They are worth far more than the ones they replace.”

“Then, you like them?” The words came out in a rush.

“Yes,” Elizabeth said with a grin. “I will put them on right this moment.” She thrust the box into Darcy’s hand and peeled off her old and worn gloves with gusto. Once she had the new ones, she held her hands for Mr Darcy’s approval.

“Quite lovely,” he said with a smile. “Most befitting for a beautiful lady.”

Elizabeth blushed. He so clearly disapproved of her family so his comments confused her greatly. Rather than address it straightforwardly, she arched her brow. “You seek to flatter me, sir, so I might forget that you had promised to grovel properly today.”

Darcy looked slightly pained at her words, but she shrugged it off. He ought to feel some shame.

“I have brought the newest draft for your approval.” He held out a single sheet of paper for her to take. “Additionally, I brought something to take notes into if you have more suggestions.”

She eagerly took his newest letter and quickly read it.

Dear Miss Bennet,

I have put this missive into your sister’s hands in an attempt to apologise for a great wrong that I have committed against you. Since last November, I arrogantly assumed I understood your feelings and thoughts. I believed my friend Mr Bingley could not be happily matched with you, so I counselled him against the union. In fact, I did much worse than that. After learning of your arrival in London so shortly after we departed from Hertfordshire, I did all I could to conceal your presence from Bingley. Perhaps the cruellest thing about my actions is that I presumed you would not be hurt, or if you were, your feelings did not warrant my concern. I deceived myself into thinking I had done a good work for my friend.

I have no sufficient defence against these charges and any others that may be laid at my door. I see now that not only were my conclusions incorrect, but also, I never ought to have interfered at all. I apologise unreservedly and pray you can, in time, forgive me. I have confessed all to Bingley as well. I wish you happiness and blessings.

Your servant,

Fitzwilliam Darcy

Elizabeth reread the letter two more times. She could barely believe her eyes. She had not thought such an apology was within his power. Was it genuine?

“These are very pretty words, and I have no doubt that Jane will forgive you. She would have done so without any apology at all. She is a far better Christian than I am. Despite that, the words are just fluff and nonsense if you do not truly mean them.”

Darcy had been watching her with deep anxiety on his features. Now, he took a step forward, determination etched on each line on his face. “I wrote nothing that I did not mean with all my heart.” He took one of her hands in his. “This has been a hard lesson, Miss Elizabeth. One that I am sure you are surprised that I needed and did not already know from my childhood and education. Notwithstanding, it has been most necessary, and I am quite grateful.” He kissed her knuckles, causing her to draw in a sharp breath. “I am in your debt. I pray now for God’s blessings on you and your family.”

“You give me too much credit, sir.” She slowly removed her fingers from his grasp. “I am certain, at some point, another intemperate and improper lady might have raked you over the coals. These are not qualities which I alone possess. Your desire to do right and change speaks far more in your favour than my obstinate devotion to my first opinion about you.”

“I cannot allow you any such reproach. Your correction was done in love, if not for my soul, then for your sister’s sake.” He whispered the final words.

Something tugged on her heart. What would it be like if she did love him? As instantly as the thought had come, she pushed it aside. How preposterous! Why should she love him when there was little enough reason to and certainly no chance of reciprocation? She knew she ought to speak but could not think of anything.

Darcy shifted his feet and cleared his throat. “Now, if you believe my words are acceptable, I will leave this in your hands.”

Elizabeth nodded and smiled, incapable of speech. The wind whipped around her, causing her to pull her shawl close.

Darcy looked up at the sky and frowned. “We ought to get you back to the parsonage.” He offered his arm, and this time, Elizabeth gladly took it.

“I would prefer to call on Aunt Silly and thank her for the gloves.”

“Unfortunately, I believe she planned to be out this afternoon.”

“Oh. Then, I will call another time.” She tried to stifle a sigh. The thought of returning to the parsonage deflated her. Regrettably, the wind was at such a pace she could hardly justify staying out of doors for several hours.

Darcy watched her closely before saying, “I planned to visit some of the shops in town. Would you accompany me?”

Elizabeth hesitated to reply. She had never been missish, but on the other hand, she had to guard her family’s reputation. Suppose she was accused of having an intrigue with such a rich man. In that case, gossips might inspect the family even closer and see the irregularity regarding Lydia’s absence.

“Perhaps you have a letter to your sister to post?” He suggested. “I confess, I would prefer to know it was all resolved before I leave the area tomorrow.”

“You are leaving? I thought you were to stay through Easter.” Why did she feel so disappointed at the thought?

“I regret leaving my sister for so long and believe I owe apologies to Bingley face to face.”

As he spoke, she thought he glanced at her nervously. An in person apology was noble of him. “Then, I shall stop at the parsonage to retrieve my missive to Jane. I shall insert your letter, and we will go to the post office. Then, you can be certain it has been sent.”

He smiled a little. “Thank you.” They walked for a moment in silence before he cleared his throat. “I also have business to do in London.”

She supposed matters were finally settled with him and Miss de Bourgh. “I am to stay for several more weeks. Perhaps you will return to call on your intended before I depart.”

He frowned deeply. “Ah, I had wondered if my aunt had told others.”

“I did not hear of the engagement from her, sir, but I offer my congratulations.” She could not explain why but had never meant the word less. Her eyes caught on his hands as he fiddled with them.

“I am aggrieved that others have bandied my name about. I am not engaged to my cousin Anne—nor will I ever be. I have recently made that completely clear, and I fear my aunt is not pleased with me. So, you see, my departure is quite necessary.” He hesitated and then looked at her for a long moment. “I regret that I will not return to Rosings before next Easter.”

A peculiar feeling settled within her as they walked. Perhaps it was only because the shift in their relationship was so recent, or maybe it was the news of his immediate departure. She was not used to thinking of him as anything other than an enemy, and now it seemed their acquaintance was to be cut short. Well, they might see more of one another if Bingley and Jane married.

“Would you tell me about your sister?” she suddenly inquired.

Her question seemed to have surprised him, but he obliged. He had never been so eloquent on any other subject. Tears pricked her eyes as she listened to him affectionately describe Miss Darcy. It reminded Elizabeth of her sisters and how precious they were.

Something within her made her admit to false assumptions of her own. She stared at her feet as she spoke meekly. “I confess that when Miss Bingley first described her, I thought it an exaggeration. Then, Caroline claimed that Mr Bingley was devoted to Miss Darcy and had intentions toward her. I hoped then that she was sickly or disagreeable. Pray, forgive me for maligning her in my heart. She sounds very sweet.”

“Bingley and Georgiana?” Darcy stuttered in disbelief. “As her brother and guardian, there may be no other gentleman of my acquaintance I regard and trust so highly. Regardless, there are considerable obstacles. Bingley is young for marriage, but I would never approve of Georgiana marrying for several years. Their temperaments, too, may not suit. Bingley can be too trusting. He needs a wife that can guide him.”

“I am uncertain if that describes dear Jane very well,” Elizabeth said with a frown. “She, too, can be too trusting, too forgiving. Despite this, she has no difficulty in staying resolute in her beliefs. She certainly has been a guide to me.”

Darcy turned to look at her, brows furrowed and anxiety on his face again. “You must know I did not advise Bingley against your sister because I desired him for Georgiana.” He grunted. “Miss Bingley says and writes many fictitious things.”

“She does seem to think she has a claim on the Darcy siblings.”

“She is mistaken,” Darcy said firmly. They arrived at the parsonage. “I shall await you here.”

“Are you afraid of my cousin?” Elizabeth teased.

“No,” he answered cautiously. “I merely do not wish to dirty Mrs Collins’ sitting room with my boots.”

Elizabeth looked down at his dusty Hessians and then inspected her own shoes. “I do not think there is anything to worry about. You should continue on without me, and I can meet you at the post office.”

No one could mistake that for an assignation. Surely, no one sensible would call walking into a village together a tryst. Nor was this a sign of courtship. After all, he had not called on her at the parsonage. Even so, it was better to err on the side of caution.

She did not wait for Darcy to agree and scurried into the house. She was delayed several minutes as there was a visitor for her to greet. Mrs Thatcher was the wife of the church’s deacon, and Elizabeth was quite certain she was also the gossip of the church. Thankfully, courtesy did not dictate that she stay and talk with her. She hurried upstairs, finished her letter to Jane, inserted Darcy’s note, and promptly sealed it. She came back down as soon as it dried.

“Are you sure it wise to go out again, my dear?” Mrs Thatcher called to her in the hall from the sitting room. “This wind is intolerable.”

“I am very well, thank you. Good day, Mrs Thatcher! I will return before dinner, Charlotte.”

Then, Elizabeth sailed outside, skidding to a disapproving stop upon seeing Darcy. She put her hands on her hips. “I thought you were to meet me at the post office.”