Page 27 of A Letter in the Wind (Mayhem and Scandal Collection #1)

In the carriage, Darcy held his wife until his anger abated, and he sensed her calm. Whatever Mrs Bennet had said to Elizabeth had upset her greatly. Despite his wife’s protestations, it was clear that Mrs Bennet held nothing but malevolence for her second born. Darcy refused to push about it or bring up Lydia and Wickham again. This should be a day of happiness and love.

As was often the case while in Elizabeth’s company, Darcy wondered what he should say to fill the silence. He was learning there were times she enjoyed being with him without saying a word and other times when the quiet felt oppressive. He realised he had always spent too much time thinking about what to convey. Elizabeth had proved the only one he did not feel he had to check himself.

“This is most pleasant,” he said quietly. “My beautiful wife, who I love ardently, in my arms. We are finally far from all the noise of others and are on our way home.”

Elizabeth slowly nodded, but he felt a slight tremble at the word home. Asking about it would violate his rule to only think about the cheerful side of things today. The carriage hit a deep rut, jostling them.

Elizabeth laughed. “Perhaps some parts are less pleasant than others.”

“Oh?” Darcy asked. “You do not enjoy being tossed about and shaken like a rowboat on a sea? What interesting things I am learning about you, wife.” He squeezed her tightly to him. “I, on the other hand, benefit from the poor roads. What an opportunity to bring you closer.”

“Hmm…”

The throaty hum reverberated against his chest, diffusing warmth and happiness throughout his body.

“I never knew how enjoyable bumpy roads could be. You have changed my opinion.” Elizabeth drew back a little and met his gaze, a twinkle in her eye. “However, do not become accustomed to that, William. I am notoriously stubborn.”

“Is that why you did not change your mind about me or how I supposedly felt about you although I stared at you for six weeks straight and asked you to dance repeatedly?”

“You will not let me forget that, will you?” She laughed. “Well, I held the mistaken belief that an interested suitor would do the daring act of actually speaking to his object.”

“I spoke to you. I asked you to dance and engaged in your conversations as often as possible.” He stroked her hand on his chest. “When we talked, it seemed like no one else even existed. Every time someone else spoke, it jarred me back to reality. I should have known then, but I, too, can be stubborn and blind.”

“What should you have known?”

“That I was completely lost to you. I would never be happy—never know love—without you, and how that would be worth the risk. I could trust you to be the keeper of my heart.”

Elizabeth reached up and tenderly caressed his cheek. “I wish I had known then what a gentleman you are and what a gentle man you are. I thought I wanted flattery and charm. I thought that was love. Now, I know it is trust, security, and sacrifice. It is not merely being loved but how selfishness vanishes for the other and is replaced by something that defies explanation.”

“I fear I would have broken your heart then,” he painfully admitted. “I was too full of pride and would have left Netherfield.”

“Perhaps you would not have if I had encouraged you. If I had understood my feelings and your true nature, I could have helped you along.”

“Are you calling me vain again, Mrs Darcy?” Darcy chuckled.

“Am I?” She laughed. “Oh, dear. That shall never do. I can see you valiantly continuing once you decided that you were in love regardless of my indifference. As Charlotte once called it, you have ‘heart enough’ to be in love without encouragement.” Elizabeth sobered for a moment. “I am the one who needed reassurance. Even then, I tried to argue away your admiration. I feared that you were too far out of my reach even if you did fancy me.” She dropped her eyes. “I am afraid that I owe all my happiness to the unkindness of others.”

Darcy started at her words and then lightly chuckled. Her eyes snapped back to him. “Ah, my love.” He gave her a light kiss. “I am sorry that my ineptitude made you so fearful. My stubbornness and the weight of expectations against me might have delayed my suit, but it would not have stopped it. I thought about you night and day. I pounced anytime your name was mentioned and was completely lost in your presence each time I saw you.” He took a deep breath before admitting, “I came to Rosings just to see you.”

Elizabeth’s mouth hung open in shock for a moment. When she recovered, she raised a brow. “Poor Lady Catherine. Which of my impertinent remarks made you love me? What set it off?”

“I would not call you impertinent.” He kissed her forehead. “You are clever and witty with a sharp mind.”

“And sometimes a sharper tongue,” she interjected.

“Never that, my dearest. I do not know the moment it began. By the time I realised my danger, I was helpless to defend against it.”

“I do not know why you love me or what I have done to earn it. I have lectured, insulted, and lied to you. How can you love me?”

“I love you because you are mine. See how we fit together?” He squeezed her again. “There is no one else I would ever want in my arms. There has never been another that I wish I could protect and keep safe. I have never wished for you to be perfect or pretend to be something you are not. You have seen all my defects and choose to love me anyway. Whatever imperfections you have are insufficient to keep my heart from beating for you.”

Elizabeth’s kiss was thanks indeed for expressing his love. When she broke away, he cupped her face in his free hand; the other was stayed wrapped around her. Then, he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. He poured all his promises into it. She closed her eyes and appeared to savour it, drawing a small smile from him.

“I must admit your tale is rational,” she said upon opening her eyes. “Looking back, I always noticed you. I was aware of every look from you. I revelled in every conversation and thrilled at each accidental touch.”

“You did not seem enchanted during our dance at the Bingley’s ball.”

She chuckled. “I think I was confused. I loathed that I secretly liked you. It was frustrating. I suppose we had that in common.”

“Was there one particular haughty word or expression that made you love me?” He attempted to jest as she had done but held his breath as she thought. He was unused to allowing emotion, let alone matching it with humour. He felt vulnerable and exposed.

“No, but there was one moment that made it impossible for me to ignore my feelings any longer. Even then, it took a few days for me to fully admit it to myself. Perhaps I would have noted it earlier if it had not been for the immediate stress of the day.” She reached up and touched his face. “You cannot know how terrified I was for you that day with the fire. As you charged into the house, I prayed for your safety. When you were hurt—” She swallowed and blinked back tears. “All I could do was plead with God to save you. I did not ask myself why then. We had become friends; of course, I should care about anyone I knew. But it was more than that. I knew I would have mourned you and regretted you more than I ever would have anyone else. It caused me actual pain to watch you struggle to breathe.”

“You were there!”

“Did you not know or remember? The most beautiful sight I have ever beheld was when you began to breathe normally.” She gripped him tightly. “I was so afraid I would lose you.”

“I had convinced myself it was only a dream or a fevered fantasy. I remember wanting you. I had to know you were safe. And if I were to pass, I wanted you to be the last thing I saw. I knew you could not love me, but immediately realised I had to tell you. I could not die with those words unconfessed. At the time, I begged God for the ability to speak or that he allow me live and see you again.”

“God has been so good to us,” Elizabeth said while blinking back tears. “He gave us a second chance.”

“And the first thing I did was run away!” Darcy shook his head. “I am sorry, Elizabeth. I exposed you to gossip. What might have befallen you on the journey via stage to London?”

“I was never alone,” she said. “The same One who watched over you in Silly’s house protected me and was working all things for my good.”

She caressed his face. He leaned into her touch.

“Do you remember that evening at the opera?”

“Yes, although I try to forget certain things,” he answered darkly.

“There is some pain, but the rest of the night is so dear to me. I cannot forget it. You flirted with me, and it was more than I could bear. When I became ill, you were so solicitous. Did you never wonder why I stumbled into that man?”

“It was very crowded. There were people everywhere.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “I suddenly realised that I love you. I mourned that you were destined for an indifferent marriage because you deserved so much love. Immediately, I recognised that you would marry a woman who could never love you as much as I. It startled me so much that I nearly fainted.”

“My sweet love,” he murmured before capturing her lips.

Their lips caressed each other for several minutes until, once more, Darcy separated them. He pulled Elizabeth’s head to his chest. Her ear lay over his pounding heart.

They remained in their position until they reached their planned stop at a coaching inn. After a brief respite, they returned to the carriage, took turns reading, and discussed London. They agreed on a trip to the theatre, the British Museum, and Darcy’s favourite bookshop. Soon, they began rolling over the tale-tell cobblestone streets of the city. Finally, they came to a stop before Darcy House.

Noticing his wife’s unease, Darcy captured her lips for a long moment before climbing out of the vehicle. “That was how I wished to comfort you when you were last here.” She chuckled as he handed her out. Then, he raised her hands to his lips. “Welcome home, Elizabeth. I have yearned for you to be here for so long.”

She said nothing, but Darcy noticed the determined look in her eye. Placing her hand on his arm, they climbed the stairs. The door swung open as they neared it, the butler having watched for them, and the housekeeper greeted them in the hall. Darcy thanked them and ordered refreshments in the drawing room before escorting Elizabeth there.

“I have squired you away from the servants. Today is about you and me.”

“They will not think I am arrogant or shirking my duties?”

“I imagine most brides do not spend time looking over household accounts and ordering menus as soon as they step foot in the door.” He pulled her into an embrace. “I do not care what anyone else thinks of you or us. I have waited my whole life to be happy. You are mine, and I will share you with no one else today.”

He dropped his mouth to hers, one hand wandered to the nape of her neck to angle her head just right. His thumb gently caressed the side of her throat. In his haze, he heard a tray clatter on a table. Breaking contact with Elizabeth, his eyes caught a maid running out of the room and the refreshment tray haphazardly placed on the table.

Elizabeth blushed and then covered her face. “What shall they think of me?”

He chuckled. “They will have to get used to a few changes. I have no intention of not kissing my wife whenever I want.” He placed his mouth next to her ear. “And you can kiss me as frequently as you desire.”

He stepped backwards, cleared his throat, and motioned to the food and drink. “Would you care for anything?”

At Elizabeth’s dazed look, he led her to the settee and then plated a few items for her. She had eaten nothing at the wedding breakfast and very little en route. She must be famished.

He had little interest in food. Their fingers grazed when she offered him a cup of tea. His hand shook as he brought it to his lips. He was on a precipice and ready to jump off. He awaited only Elizabeth’s indication that she was ready to join him on their next journey.

“William?” She interrupted his thoughts. The look on her face made it evident that she had called his name several times.

“Yes, my love?”

“Could we…that is…” She turned scarlet and buried her face in her hands. “How am I ever to say this? How can we begin?”

“Begin what, dearest?”

She shook her head, seemingly too embarrassed to speak. After a minute of watching her, growing more perplexed by the second, he took her hand in his. His thumb drew lazy circles over the soft flesh.

“How do we begin…you and me…We are down here, but…”

Sudden understanding dawned on him. “Like this,” he said before capturing her lips in a heated kiss. He had no experience in such things, but with Elizabeth, he had never been more confident or sure of every touch.

Soon, he stood, pulling Elizabeth to her feet as well. Then, he gathered her hand in his and led them down the hall and to the stairs. Before reaching the first step, he glanced at the butler standing sentry.

“I will be giving Mrs Darcy a thorough tour of the upstairs. We do not wish to be disturbed.” He took a step forward and then looked over his shoulder. “Bring the tray from the drawing room and leave it in the sitting room between our chambers.”

Then, Darcy and Elizabeth climbed the stairs hand in hand.