Page 17 of A Letter in the Wind (Mayhem and Scandal Collection #1)

Mr Gardiner’s consent was sought and granted, although he did not appear pleased in the least. At noon, they went to church. Darcy had invited them to attend services at his chapel in Mayfair. He thought it might help if people saw them together. Desperate for anything that might reduce the gossip, Elizabeth agreed. Usually, they attended service at Wesley’s Chapel or a small church a few blocks from the Gardiner residence.

As the visiting gentlemen had arrived in a hackney and the Gardiners kept no carriage, they decided to divide their six into two groups. Elizabeth rode with her aunt, who had sent Jane with the men.

“We must talk, my dear,” Mrs Gardiner said.

Elizabeth sighed. “I was afraid you would say that. It looked as though you and Uncle had a silent discussion about who I should ride with.”

“Yes, that is true. When you love each other as we do and have been married for as long, you will probably be able to communicate without words.”

Her aunt’s words pricked her heart. Would she ever have that with Darcy? Could he open his heart to her and love her?

“Well, we do not have much time.” Mrs Gardiner cleared her throat. “Are you quite certain you wish to marry this man?”

“It seems I hardly have a choice. How did you know that you wanted to marry Uncle?”

Mrs Gardiner laughed. “You have heard the story a thousand times.”

“Yes, but now it is finally relevant.”

“It was love at first sight. It seemed the whole world quit spinning, and it was just us two in the room.”

Elizabeth watched in fascination as her aunt’s eyes grew soft and had a faraway look.

“Despite our instant and mutual attraction, there were considerable obstacles to surmount before we could marry.”

“Your father refused consent because Uncle was a Chrisitan.”

Mrs Gardiner nodded. “Not just any Christian, either. His mother was a Unitarian and did not belong to the Anglican church. The way Father saw it, if I were to convert, it should at least advance the family status.”

“It is strange to think that my mother was raised by a devout woman. Perhaps things would be different at Longbourn if she had taken after her stepmother.”

“You have not answered my question, Lizzy.” Mrs Gardiner gave Elizabeth a serious look.

“What I want does not matter.” Elizabeth shrugged and sighed. It never had, she thought to herself. “I must marry Mr Darcy to protect the family name. Not doing so puts my sisters at risk, especially when—”

“This marriage makes me uneasy,” Mrs Gardiner interrupted. “In spite of that, it is as you said. This is the best chance of protecting your other sisters’ reputation. As such, you must not tell him of Lydia right now.”

Elizabeth’s heart clenched. “I do not wish to conceal anything from him. He ought to know the extent of our circumstances.”

“Nothing is known for certain.”

Elizabeth sighed as she looked out the window of the small chaise. It was all her fault. If she had not promoted Wickham, things might have been different. Lydia might be safe at home if she had spent more time with her youngest sisters rather than escaping the house on long walks and being so well-pleased with her own wit and conceit.

They neared the church, and Elizabeth took a calming breath. She squeezed her aunt’s hand. “Are you ready for this? Thank you for coming with me.”

“I would not be anywhere else. I hope that I am met with kindness here and not suspicion. I know a few ladies attending this place as we work together for the Foundling Hospital.” Mrs Gardiner smiled broadly at Elizabeth. “I am happy to worship our Saviour at any location. I will not let someone else’s foulness ruin my faith.”

When the carriage stopped, Mr Gardiner handed them down. Elizabeth looked up at the large ornate edifice. She wondered how she would ever belong to such a group of people. Mr Darcy approached her side and offered his arm.

“I will protect you,” he murmured to her.

“Then, I will not fear.”

Perhaps he did not love her, but she knew his character. He would not say things he did not mean. He would not offer protection and support and not give it. Despite the anxiety of attending a church with the most fashionable and wealthy elite, some of whom had recently insulted her and her family, Elizabeth calmed. Darcy would ensure she was treated well. For once, she did not have to be the problem solver and fight for her rights.

They entered the church and participated in the usual Good Friday service. It lasted three hours and included Matins, Communion, and Evensong. After the conclusion, Darcy introduced Elizabeth to several acquaintances. He never faltered at calling her his betrothed, although others seemed shocked or suspicious. When the last person left for their home, Darcy spoke with the minister as Elizabeth waited with her family and Mr Bingley.

After a few minutes, Darcy returned to the waiting group. “The minister recommends a special license since it is Eastertide.” His eyes rested on Elizabeth, and he had a slight smile on his lips. “Elizabeth, do you have any preferences about our wedding date?”

Elizabeth gulped. This all seemed surreal. She had only just realised her feelings for Darcy. She had never even dreamt that marriage to him would be possible. Now, she would be his wife, and it seemed quite soon.

“It would be better to talk about this off the street,” Mr Gardiner said.

“Of course,” Darcy agreed. “I would be pleased to host you now or at a time of your convenience.”

“I would prefer to have everything settled as soon as possible,” Mr Gardiner answered.

“Then, if you are not opposed to a walk to my house, we can talk it over there. Then, you can return to Gracechurch Street in my carriage.”

Darcy offered Elizabeth his arm, but they walked in silence. Elizabeth’s mind raced. How could she be wife to such a man? When they arrived at his London townhouse, she laughed to herself. The man had every right to be proud. To think that he visited humble Longbourn was incredible.

“Never say you are scared of a house,” he said to her. “It is just a building full of rooms…and very few people.”

Was he lonely? He could have all the companions he wanted, yet his circle of friends was incredibly small. Then there was she, who had a large family and often felt alone and isolated. What a pair they were!

“Elizabeth?”

His voice called her back to the present. He peered down at her with a furrowed brow.

“Do you trust me?”

Elizabeth looked into his concerned but earnest eyes. “Yes,” she answered without hesitation.

“You have no reason for trepidation. You are intelligent, strong, and courageous,” he said as they climbed the stairs to the front door. He squeezed her hand.

“Thank you,” she murmured.

Once inside, Darcy requested the housekeeper and butler meet him in the drawing room. He also asked that his sister and her companion join them, as they had stayed home due to colds. Elizabeth was introduced to the servants as the future mistress. Finally, he presented her to Georgiana as her sister. The younger girl squealed in delight.

“When is the wedding?” Georgiana asked eagerly.

Panic filled Elizabeth. The young girl was clearly blissfully unaware of any scandal.

“We have not yet decided,” Darcy answered calmly. “If Mr Gardiner and Elizabeth would care to join me in my office after we finish with refreshments, that can be settled today.”

Elizabeth opened her mouth to request her aunt join her, but Darcy spoke first.

“Do you want your sister or your aunt with you?” He asked gently.

Elizabeth sighed with relief. “I think my aunt Gardiner knows more about a wedding. You will not feel slighted, will you, Jane?”

“Of course not,” she replied. “I will enjoy getting to know Miss Darcy and Mrs Annesley better.”

“Perhaps we can plan an outing together,” Bingley suggested. That group settled in for conversation.

Darcy seated Elizabeth next to him. Mrs Gardiner had exchanged seats with Jane to join Elizabeth on the settee. Mr Gardiner was in the chair to Darcy’s left. It made for an intimate seating arrangement.

After a minute or two of silence, Mrs Gardiner spoke to Darcy. “You probably do not recall me, sir, but I met you once before when you were very young.”

“Indeed? I am sorry to say that I have no recollection.”

“I grew up at Walton Hall, only six miles from Pemberley.”

“You are Mr Joseph’s daughter?”

“Yes,” Mrs Gardiner admitted. “I believe your grandfather enjoyed a friendship with him.”

“Yes, Father told of grandfather frequently visiting the estate.” He looked at the Gardiners. “So it is true, then?”

“Perhaps it would be best to also have this conversation in your office,” Mr Gardiner suggested.

Darcy agreed and then helped the ladies to their feet. He explained to Miss Darcy, Jane, Mrs Annesley, and Bingley that it was time they began their meeting. Then, Darcy wrapped Elizabeth’s hand around his left arm, placing his right hand atop hers. He glanced down and gave her a gentle smile. He moved with confident steps. Amazingly, as they neared the room, Elizabeth could feel something like trepidation from him. In an instant, he dropped his right hand. A quick glance showed that he rubbed his fingers together. Something made him nervous.

Once in the privacy of the room, Mrs Gardiner explained that although she was no longer Jewish by faith, she would always be one by blood. That alone was enough to make many hate her. Additionally, she had the good fortune of being a wealthy heiress. It was unsurprising that many could not contain their jealousy.

“Lizzy is only related to Miriam through marriage,” Mr Gardiner explained. “In case you are worried about it, Lizzy is entirely English. The Bennets, except for my Unitarian mother, have long been members of the Anglican church.”

“I did not worry about that in the least,” Darcy said. “I am astonished that so much prejudice persists over such things.”

“You do not fear for your reputation or that of Miss Darcy’s?” Mr Gardiner asked. “What about your future children?”

Elizabeth blushed deeply at the reference to begetting children with Darcy. As embarrassing as it was, she could not help but picture him surrounded by children. He had been absolutely adorable with Patty. She had thought then that he would make an excellent father. Never would she have thought she would be his children’s mother.

“I have no fear over our reputations, sir,” Darcy said. “I do not enjoy society much in general. Therefore, it is no loss if they do not care for me. I might have more peace. I ought to ask you if you would mind connecting with me. You were insulted because you were with me.”

Mr Gardiner glanced at his wife, who gave him a slight nod and a small smile. “As long as you keep Lizzy safe from such vulgar men, then all is well with us.”

Darcy reached for Elizabeth’s hand. “I will protect her with my life. No one will ever insult my Mrs Darcy and get away with it.”

It seemed surreal to be his Mrs Darcy. He did not act as though this were a terrible accident thrust upon him, perhaps even more proof of his superiority as a gentleman. Even if he never loved her, she would be appreciated and treated with respect. Would that be enough for her?

“Now, I believe the purpose of this meeting was to decide on the wedding date.” Mrs Gardiner brought them back to the task at hand.

Darcy cleared his throat and let go of Elizabeth’s hand. He went behind the large mahogany desk, striking an imposing figure. Elizabeth watched his graceful movements in the room, which exuded his presence. It was extremely subtle, but she could see he was not at ease the way he was in the drawing room or even among the paths of Rosings.

“As I said, the rector suggested a special license due to Eastertide. Normally, he does not resume work until the Wednesday after Easter. However, he is my godfather, and I will dine with him tomorrow. I could make all the arrangements then. Once I have it in my hand, we can marry any time or anywhere.” He paused and frowned before meeting Elizabeth’s eyes. “By now, you know my reticence and dislike for public appearances, Elizabeth. I would lay that aside to please you. My only hesitation about marrying at a church is that we could have many unplanned guests eager to witness. Which do you prefer?”

Elizabeth inhaled deeply. Her only fantasy about her wedding was that it would be to the man she loved. She never had any dreams about where or day of the week. Indeed, her only other wish was that Mr Gardiner would give her away. Now, it seemed they should at least allow her family to come. She supposed she would never see Longbourn again.

“I do not mind marrying in a private house rather than a public church,” she said with a blush. “I gather that everyone else believes it ought to be as soon as possible?”

“It is the best way to ensure the gossip stops and that your sisters’ reputations are safe,” Mr Gardiner said.

“Well, aunt, how quickly can a wedding be managed?” Elizabeth tried to smile and feel happy but failed. Too many other conflicting emotions vied for dominance in her mind.

Mrs Gardiner grinned. “I think with my sister Bennet and sister Philips helping, a simple ceremony could be done in a few days.”

“You think I ought to marry at Longbourn?” Elizabeth asked incredulously. “When you know—” She stopped herself from finishing the sentence.

Mrs Gardiner held up her hand. “If you marry from Longbourn, the papers will report that. Elizabeth Bennet, the daughter of a gentleman with an estate in Hertfordshire. It puts you on more even footing immediately with your peers. You have already witnessed they can be quite cruel.”

It seemed Mr Gardiner would be unable to give her away after all. She supposed that she would have to be content with his presence. “Will you both be present for my final stay at Longbourn?”

Mr and Mrs Gardiner looked at one another. “I can stay for a few days,” her uncle answered. “I do not have any meetings requiring my presence until next Friday.”

“Then all we must do is settle on the date,” Darcy said with a smile.

“Where will you be residing after the wedding?” Mrs Gardiner asked. “Are you needed at your estate? Or will you take a bridal tour?” She paused for a moment. “No one would think it unusual if you did not take a tour for a few months. This will give you time to know one another before having to appear in public so frequently.”

A piece of Elizabeth’s heart broke. She was exhausted from keeping up appearances. Apparently, her aunt believed she could not be happy with Darcy—or that he could not be happy with her.

Darcy’s brow furrowed, and he hid one of his hands behind his back. “I am usually wanted after Easter, but it can be delayed.” At Mr Gardiner’s raised brows, Darcy slid his eyes to Elizabeth. “What do you desire, Elizabeth? We could tour the Lake Country, which is near Pemberley. We could go to one of my other estates. Or we could enjoy a spa town or even the seaside.”

“Perhaps Ramsgate,” Mrs Gardiner suggested.

“Not Ramsgate,” Darcy said as a dark look descended upon his features. He cleared his throat. “I would prefer we not go to Ramsgate, but there are some other coastal towns. Weymouth or Brighton could be enjoyable.”

Elizabeth’s head hammered, and her thoughts whirled. She could focus on nothing but the changes in Darcy’s demeanour upon entering this room and then his unspoken but, to her, loud reactions.

“I am not afraid of spending time with Mr Darcy,” Elizabeth said with a blush while staring at her lap.

When she attempted to surreptitiously glance at Darcy, she found him staring at her. What thoughts were in his mind? What emotions beat in his breast? She was coming to realise that he did not look at her with disapproval. As she scrutinised him, she realised something about his current expression was different from what she had seen before.

“In that case, we can go anywhere,” he said politely.

Elizabeth shook her head. “No. You are needed at your estate, and I enjoy the country more than anything else.” The intensity of Darcy’s stare became unbearable. She might burst into flames or dissolve into a puddle. She must lighten the mood. “Besides, I hear that Pemberley has an excellent library.”

“It would give me great pleasure to take you home to Pemberley,” Darcy said softly.

Oh. That did not bring the levity she had hoped. Instead, Darcy’s gaze pierced her even more. She could barely breathe. She dearly wished she would become accustomed to that soon.

Unexpectedly, Darcy walked around the desk and gathered her hands in his. When he looked at her, it seemed no one else existed. “Shall we marry next Wednesday? That will give your uncle time to travel before he is required in town.”

Elizabeth ought to feel afraid. She should hesitate or demand more time. At the very least, she ought to play the part of the indifferent lady forced to marry against her will. She was lost when he looked at her with such kindness. She now felt safer with him than anyone else. All the anxiety and concerns she had, even the voices of amusement in her head, silenced. When they first met, that calmness had unsettled her. She did not recognise what it was. Now, she discovered that she craved it.

He began withdrawing his hands from hers, but she tightened her grip to keep them in place.

“Yes,” she said in an exhale. “And then shall we go to your home?”

“Our home, Elizabeth. All that I have is yours, and we shall make it home together.” He raised her hands to his lips.

Elizabeth’s heart fluttered. “All we have to do is survive the next few days and Longbourn first.”

“I am not afraid of the gossips in town or your family.”

Unwelcome memories intruded. He had never approved of her family and had never taken care to conceal it. Even with all his riches, her mother would rant and rave. How could he ever respect and esteem Elizabeth with her family hating him? “But you do not like them.” She hung her head.

Darcy gently lifted her chin. “In time, I will value them as you do. A marriage is a merging of families. Do not forget that you have not met all of mine. I regret to say that most of them will remind you of Lady Catherine. Richard and Georgiana are the exceptions.”

“Do they live close to Pemberley?”

“No. The earl’s estate is in Yorkshire. He spends most of the year in London. I have no living Darcy relatives.”

Elizabeth’s heart sunk for him. What a lonely existence. It would be up to her to make him smile daily and tease him into happiness.

Mr Gardiner cleared his throat. “I am afraid we must take our leave. We have dinner at six and must dress.” He paused for a moment. “You, Miss Darcy, and her companion are welcome to join us.”

“Thank you,” Darcy said. His eyes had not left hers, and he clutched her hands.

He did not let go of her hand until she entered the carriage. It had been decided that the Gardiner party would return home in Darcy’s carriage. It would then retrieve the Darcy siblings and Bingley. Elizabeth closed her eyes as the large coach trundled along the cobblestone streets. She wanted to preserve the look in Darcy’s gaze and the feel of his hand in hers to memory.