Page 83 of Tracing Holland

His smile starts to poke through the gloom, which always makes it impossible not to join in.“Yeah, it was not the speech they were expecting, I’m sure.”

“What did you say?”

“I thanked everyone for coming and then thanked my dad for donating sperm to make such great kids.”

My eyes widen.“You did not.”

He grins and shrugs.“Yeah, I kinda did.I phrased it better.At least I think I did.It was such a blur I don’t even remember exactly what I said, but it was along those lines.”

I breathe a curse and shake my head.“Well, hey, they wanted a speech.”

He laughs and rubs his eyes.“Yeah, they did.And they sure got one.”He sighs.“It was rough, dude.The whole thing.”

I nod.“Did anyone give you a hard time?”

He looks away and seems to focus on the wall behind me.“Not openly.Just a lot of the passive-aggressive shit my family has mastered.”

“Aw, I’m sorry.Yeah, your family always rocked the underhanded cut-downs.”

He grunts.“Yeah, Great-Uncle Alan actually introduced himself!That bastard.He said he was surprised I still remembered all their names when I told him I knew who he was.Totally serious too, as if I wouldn’t see through such an obvious blow.”

I smirk, I can’t help it.“Um…”

“Yeah, exactly.What a dick.”

I laugh, fresh from my own encounter with Great-Uncle Alan.“Well, if it makes you feel any better, he told me I probably had an STD so...”

“What?!No!”

I nod, still chuckling.“Yep.Right after Great-Aunt Norma said I was probably high on ‘the dope.’”

“The dope?Oh my god!”Casey roars, laughing so hard we draw stares from other tables.

I’m right there with him, trying to compose myself as the humor of the entire situation begins to chip at the horror.

“Oh, yeah.And you should have seen the flowers the Label sent.Completely ridiculous.Like five times the size of any other display.”

I laugh again, not surprised.“They wanted you to know they care, man.”

We exchange a wry smile as he shakes his head.“Yeah, whatever.Do you think the Executive Assistant who ordered them even knew who I was?”

“Depends if the Executive who gave the command included the band name in the email,” I joke, and Casey laughs again.

He shakes his head with a smile.“Hey, thanks, man.There was nothing funny about it at the time, but some of it is kinda hilarious on the other side,” he admits, as if reading my thoughts a moment ago.

I grin.“You know me, always finding the fun in life.”

He snickers.“Yeah, you’re just a ball of sunshine.Speaking of that, oh man, you should have seen what Uncle Nestor was wearing.Hang on.”He pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through pictures.

I just about spit out my coffee when he turns it toward me.

“What is that?”I cry, trying to make sense of the black tuxedo/tracksuit monstrosity.

Casey shakes his head, cracking up so hard he can barely speak.“I have no idea.He walked into the church like that, and even Callie almost lost it.Callie!Unbelievable.I guess it’s for when you want to look like you’re trying without giving up the comfort of your favorite couch apparel?”

“Wow, that’s, uh, something…”

He’s still chuckling.“Oh, and then I pretty much choked on my mint when Nate asked him where he got it.You know Nate, totally sincere and polite.Like, just making conversation.”