Page 36 of Tracing Holland

“Again, as advertised, right?”

She’s about to explode as she turns on me.“No!That’s bullshit and you know it!You’re scared.You’re scared because I mean something to you.Because I got behind your glass barrier, didn’t I?Because our connection is more than sex and you have no clue what to do with that!”

“Yep, that’s it.I’m scared.So original, Holland.”God, what a dick thing to say, but I need her to hate me.I’ll never be strong enough to push her away if she doesn’t.

Her glare turns hostile, and I wonder if she’s actually going to hit me.She doesn’t, but her eyes do it for her.

“Wes is a better match for you anyway.You should stalk him instead,” I continue for good measure.It works, and this time I can see her visibly shake in anger.

“Excuse me?”

I offer a casual shrug.“I mean, it’s obvious there’s something going on there.I bet he doesn’t come with the same baggage.Does your rule apply to your own band?”

“You have no idea what the hell you’re talking about!”

“No?Come on, Holland.You’re lying to yourself if you can’t see your guitar player has it bad for you.He’s doing everything he can to keep me away from you.”

Fire burns in her eyes.“Oh, because you know us so damn well?Like I said, you have no idea what you’re talking about!Is that what this is about?Wes?”

The elevator arrives at our floor and I get out.She follows, but I don’t stop.

“No, this is about us,” I call back with devastating nonchalance.I’ve always been a master at channeling my uncanny ability to read people into the ability to cut them with precision.“You’re the one who told me out of the gate it can’t happen.I’m just respecting your wishes.”

I pull my key out and slide it into my door.But instead of the rage I expect, she softens, her face covered with her sudden desperate plea for me.I can’t look.Oh god, I can’t look.

“Luke, come on.I know whatever this is right now isn’t real.I know this isn’t you.”

“Oh, it’s real,” I lie.“I thought you did your research.”

“No!It’s not.I saw you yesterday with those kids!Your smile!The music!I saw what…”

She takes a step toward my door, and I slam it shut.

“Luke!”she cries, pounding once in frustration.“You asshole!”The wounded tears in her voice are wrecking me.“You’re a fucking asshole, you know that?!”

Yes.I know that.

I slide to the floor, head on my knees, and completely shatter.

I’mfunctional again by dinnertime, but have no interest in seeing Holland or Wes.I return Callie’s text letting me know they’re back from the outlets, and ask if they want to go out with just the three of us.I miss our time together.Callie, Casey, me.Those few months in my suite were some of the best of my life, and a huge reason why I’m even here to miss them.I need them right now.I need to be just the three of us again.

Callie writes back that they’re fine with my plan, and an hour later we find ourselves at a steakhouse.Supposedly, this place is a must for anyone visiting Myrtle Beach, and I like the atmosphere the second we step inside.It’s upscale, but still laidback in its own way, and we’re seated fairly quickly.We don’t seem to be recognized, which I appreciate.It was a rough day and I’m in the mood to disappear.

“Find anything good at the outlets?”I ask, after we’re seated and have placed our drink orders.Casey and Callie exchange a look, and I fold my arms.“What?”

Callie grins, and I swear Casey is blushing.

“Nothing,” Callie covers quickly.“No, we didn’t buy anything interesting.Just some clothing and stuff.”

I give them a skeptical look.“Really.So why’s your face about to explode, Case?”I ask.

Casey glares at Callie.“You said we wouldn’t tell anyone.”

My eyes widen as I lean forward.“Tell anyone what?I don’t count as ‘anyone,’ do I?”

Callie is grinning so broadly I can barely stay seated.

“Wait…No…” I breathe.