Page 109 of Tracing Holland

“That’s a pretty boring bet,” she scoffs.“There’s no way he doesn’t.”

“Ok fine.Then how much that he convinces Callie to go with him?”

Casey doesn’t convinceCallie to don a wetsuit and Holland owes me a steak dinner.We have fun watching Casey enjoy his private lesson with the stingrays, until the inherent attention on stingray swimmers explodes into a full-on autograph session when we’re recognized as quite a bit more than that.Of course, Casey manages to get off with just a few waves and shouted responses from his protected position in the water, but Holland and I end up with crowds that rival the ones we just waded through at the shark tanks.Even Callie signs a few, most likely because our fans aren’t sure if they need hers but don’t want to take the risk of missing out.Watching her stunned expression as aquarium brochures are waved in her face almost makes the whole thing worth it.A helpful development since we’re stuck until Casey finally finishes with his aquatic adventure.The second he joins us we do our best to sneak away from the attention.

“You guys hungry?”Casey asks as we finally step into the freedom of the sunshine.“Let’s grab something.What’s good, Holland?”

“Hmm…well, there’s a nice bar and grill not too far if you like good bar food.”

“Bar food!Hear that, Cal?I’m in!”Casey cries.

Callie laughs.“There’s a surprise.”

“Luke, you good with that?”Holland asks.

“Sure, whatever’s fine.You’re paying anyway,” I tease.

“Hey,man.How are you holding up?”I ask, climbing onto Jesse’s bus after we get back from dinner.I’d heard he skipped food again, which makes three missed meals and almost twenty-four hours of self-quarantine: Phase Two of the beating yourself up process.I can tell by his exhausted red eyes that Phase One beat the shit out of him last night.

“Oh, hey, Luke.Doing ok.”He’s not as good of a liar as I am, but I let it slide.I drop to the other end of the couch as he lowers his guitar.“You want a drink or something?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

Jesse nods before shaking his head.“By the way, you were right about that chick.She wouldn’t stop texting and calling.I had to block her after the fifth call in two hours.”

I sigh.“Yeah.You’ve got to be careful with your personal info.”

“I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You weren’t,” I point out with a smile.

He returns it.“Stupid, I know.”

I sigh.“Look, you messed up.It happens.”

He studies the far wall.“Yeah, well, my manager was pissed.”

“To be fair his meal ticket did end up strung-out in a fucking tunnel.”

“I know.Believe me, I know.”He lets out a dry laugh and rubs his eyes.“God, what is wrong with me?I mean, I’ve done some pretty stupid shit, but wow.”He shakes his head.“Actually, it’s funny, he told me the same thing you did.If I’m gonna party, be smart about it.”

“It’s good advice.”

“Yeah, it just doesn’t seem as stupid in the moment, that’s the problem.Then later you’re like, what the hell was I thinking?”

I laugh.“Story of my life.”

He grins.“Yeah, you have some legendary not-so-great moments.So it doesn’t go away, huh?It’s still a fight, even after you make it?”

“Every damn day, Jess.But that’s not being a musician, that’s just life, dude.Your screw-ups just happen to be more tempting, accessible, and public.Your stakes are higher now.You’re not just some warehouse kid messing around in his parents’ garage.”

“What if I am, though, you know?I don’t want all this shit to change me.”

“I’m not saying it should changeyou, just your priorities.The music comes first now.”

“It sounds so easy when you say it.”

I smirk.“Really?Well, it’s not.It’s a hell of a battle with all the distractions you’ve got coming, but I’m telling you, you’re gonna need that banner when you fight it.You have no chance otherwise.”