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“If you don’t tell me, I’ll come up with a dish based on the ingredients you have,” he warns, shifting his attention to the fridge. “And I’ll use the most expensive ones.”
“It’s the container with the red cover,” I blurt.
“What else?” He takes out all the containers I direct him to and stalks to the other end of the kitchen which is, arguably, not that far from where I’m sitting on the counter. “Where’s your microwave?”
“We don’t have one. Radiation from a microwave is bad for you.”
He arches a brow but doesn’t comment. “So you warm it up on the stove?”
“Yeah.”
I watch his back muscles through his T-shirt as he uncovers each of the containers and then leaves them on the counter while he washes some pots. My stomach flutters with excitement. While my brain knows that Cullen shouldn’t be here, my body is excited that he is.
“I can rinse,” I squeak, starting to feel awkward.
Cullen levels me a dark look that needs no words and I obediently remain seated.
The clang of pans knocking and the whoosh of water pouring out of the faucet is all that can be heard for a while. Cullen dries the pans with a clean kitchen towel, dumps the food from the containers into the pans and sets them on the stove to simmer.
I watch him, wondering if he intends to ignore me while angrily cooking all night.
Suddenly, Cullen whirls around and comes to stand in front of me. My heart jumps at his proximity and I press my thighs together. He’s so close, I can smell the smoky scent on his skin and the urge to touch him almost makes me dizzy.
“I wasn’t protecting Jennafromyou,” he says intently.
I blink at first. We’d been silent for so long that I have no idea what he’s talking about. And then I frown at the memory. “I saw when you pulled her behind you.”
“I was trying to hide her fromyoursight. I wanted her to stop speaking to you.” His eyes flash to mine.
I scan his face, waiting for a sign of dishonesty. When I find none, I break eye contact and stare at the ground.
Cullen’s fingers grip my chin and he lifts my gaze to his in a split second. My chest squeezes tight as his eyes lock with mine. “Does the thought of me and Jenna bother you?”
“Of course not.” I try to look away.
His thumb tightens on my chin and he doesn’t let me. “I’m a dying man, Nardi. The one thing I hate most in this world is wasting time.” His eyes narrow. “You’ve been looking out the window to see me coming to work every morning. You were hurt when you thought I’d chosen to protect Jenna over you.”
“I wasn’t?—”
“I want to believe you weren’t. That would make this easy, but I don’t believe you, Nardi.”
I try to swallow but I can’t. There’s a giant lump in my throat. It’s suffocating me.
Cullen’s gripping my chin a little too firmly, and there’s an edge of hunger creeping into his eyes, a bit of insanity, of throwing cares to the wind, arms raised in a ‘screw it’ to the universe.
“Most people don’t know when their time is up, but I do.” The heavy conviction in his words is spoken like a silken caress. “Time moves faster in my world. I bought this apartment and a wing at Josiah’s school within twenty-four hours. I did what someone would take years to do in aday.Do you know why?”
I can barely nod with him still holding my chin, but I manage to bring my head down once. “Because you’re crazy.”
His laughter causes my heart to make a running leap straight into my ribs. Ronan Cullen is certifiably insane.
For the first time, I wonder if I’m in danger and I instinctively look for my cell phone.
He drags my eyes to his again, and there’s something deadly serious there. Something that tells me I very well could be on the verge of losing my life, my heart, my soul to him.
“I’m glad you don’t like me, Nardi. I’m thrilled that you don’t trust me. Keep that wall between us intact. Don’t let it break down any further. It’ll hurt less to bury me if you hate me when I die.”
He’s so calm about it, so cavalier about his death. I glare at him for saying such cruel words to me and to himself.