Page 150

I blink. “He might be right. Cullen Tech still hasn’t completed the simulation. Not to mention we’re still fighting a lawsuit. The lawyers haven’t gotten anywhere. If we go to court, we might end up losing everything.”
She clutches my face harder. “You arenota failure, Ronan Cullen. You’re nosy and bossy and rude and lack basic manners, but you aren’t a failure. Look at what you did with Cullen Tech? Look at how many young programmers you’ve inspired. Including my brother. Even if you die tomorrow,” she flinches, “not that you will…”
She has no idea.
“… you won’t die a failure.”
I lean my forehead against hers, stopping just short of kissing her. If I do, I won’t be able to stop and that won’t be good for either of us.
“You want to know a secret?” I ask.
She nods.
“I know it’s worse for women, but when I lost my hair during treatment…” I pause. “I was more annoyed than when I got sick.”
Her eyes flit to my beanie. “Is that why you always wear those?”
“The hair hasn’t grown back in places. It’s patchy. It makes the shape of my head look…” I shake my head, too frustrated to finish the list of complaints. “Better just to cover it up.”
“Can I see it?”
I hesitate. I don’t really care about my looks, but my hair is a sore spot.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Nardi says gently.
Realizing I’m being ridiculous, I remove my beanie and offer my head for her inspection. Nardi pushes herself up and, in doing so, she straddles me.
I inhale deeply, training my eyes away from her chest.
Then I inhale again when her fingers slide over my scalp.
“I don’t know,” Nardi says, sitting back down and looking up at me with a smile, “I think you look handsome.”
My heart glows. Am I dreaming right now? Am I in the hospital, loopy on meds, so delirious that I’m experiencing a fantasy?
You’ll die a failure and you’ll bring her down with you.
The voice that sounds like dad’s has a point.
I look at Nardi’s open, trusting face.
You say you love her, but the closer you two get, the harder it will be on her.
“Cullen?” Nardi’s eyes search mine.
The headache is getting worse.
Nausea swims through my gut.
It’ll hurt her more if she lets you all the way in, Cullen. You can’t protect her if she loves you too.
I stiffen, grip her upper arm and steer her off me. Although it hurts, I stand and walk out of the bathroom, putting distance between us.
“Cullen.” Nardi follows me, holding my wet shirt in her grip.
I take the shirt from her. “I promised the team I’d get an in-person status report. I should get ready for that.”
Nardi frowns. “Cullen, you’re sweating.”