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“You asked me not to disappear on you.” He swallows hard. “I asked you not to follow me when I leave.”
In the back of my mind, I hear glass breaking. It’s the façade shattering completely, leaving nothing but cutting shards behind.
“When are you leaving?” I ask.
“Tomorrow.”
My heart bleeds out and I press a hand to my lips to stifle a cry of disappointment. “So soon?”
For the first time, I see him waver. “If I don’t leave now, I won’t ever want to.”
Neither of us say anything for a beat.
My heart in my throat, I scoot over. “Snuggle with me.”
He gets into the bed. However, Cullen doesn’t like being the little spoon. Reaching over me, he takes my hand and shifts me to his other side so my back is to his chest. His long legs bend under mine and it feels like we’re Russian nesting dolls that fit snugly together.
I slide my fingers over his, relishing his closeness. In a thoughtful voice, I murmur, “Why haven’t you asked me?”
“Asked what?”
I swallow hard and struggle to say the words, “About my hysterectomy.”
“You’d tell me if you wanted to.” He nuzzles his nose against my neck. “I don’t want to minimize how painful that was for you, but for me, it doesn’t matter. You’re still Nardi, whether or not you can have kids.”
Touched, I turn to face him.
Cullen looks down, watching me in that intense way, as if he’s memorizing every inch of me.
“The old Nardi wouldn’t have been able to believe that. Back then, I felt like a failure,” I whisper. “My world was completely destroyed. I so badly wanted to be a mom and to have my own baby. When that dream was ripped from me… something inside crawled under a rock.”
He reaches out and rubs his thumb over my cheek.
“That’s when I started working like crazy. I wanted to bring my family over. If I couldn’t have a husband and a baby, then I’d make do with what Ididhave. I promised myself that I’d take care of Josiah and mom like they were my kids.”
“I can see that,” he assures me. “You’ve done a great job taking care of them.”
I smile, feeling the gravity of this moment. Now that our time is up, I realize there’s so much more I want to do with him, a thousand more conversations I want to have.
Cullen rubs my temple soothingly. “That’s how Iknowyou’ll be an amazing mother someday. However you choose to go about it, you will have a family.”
“I will,” I say firmly.
“What else does the future hold for Nardi Davis?” Cullen asks, staring at me.
I remember Darrel’s advice and though I want to break down and cry, I speak confidently instead. “The future is bright,” I tell him, dreaming as I go. “I’ll keep selling at the food stall and hire help so I can cater to more people. And I’ll film myself every step of the way so that potential buyers are invested in my journey. I’ll share the day I buy a building, how I decorate, how I decide the menu, I’ll show them everything so they’re begging to visit my restaurant when it opens.”
Cullen smiles as if I’m giving him the best news and he nestles his forehead against mine. “What else?”
“I’ll continue to grow my social media. Most restaurants fail in the first two years, so I need to be more of a marketer than a cook to stay relevant. I want to use my cooking videos to funnel people through the doors. And, when the restaurant is stable and Josiah’s eighteen, I want to start thinking about having a family.”
Cullen frowns. “Why wait until Josiah’s eighteen?”
“I told you. Josiah and mom are my kids. I need to make sure they’re okay first.” I roll my eyes at his frown. “Hey, this is my dream. Don’t judge me.”
He laughs.
“Adopting a baby as a single woman is difficult, but I want to give it a shot.”