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“Maybe that’s what you heard,” Darrel argues, his voice even. “And maybe that’s the question you’re wrestling with, but it’s not what I asked.”
He has a point. “Touché.”
“You won’t even go to see your results. It might be good news.”
“It’s not.”
“How do you know?”
“I’ve had several rounds of chemo.” I stiffen, my mouth angled downward. “Around the fourth and fifth cycles, the fatigue hit me like a freight train. By cycle seven, my white blood cell count was virtually at zero. I was in and out of the hospital and building Cullen Tech with a completely compromised immune system.”
“But you seem okay now,” Darrel looks me over. “On the outside I mean.”
“My body started purging it out.” I shudder at the memories of how painful that purge was. “I mostly went back to normal.”
“Mostly?”
“Mostly.”
“So now you’re…?”
“Dying.”
“How do you know? You haven’t seen the test results.”
“I have.”
The two words drop like a rock.
Darrel inhales sharply. “What do you mean you have? Dare said?—”
“Richard Sullivan came to his own conclusions after the hospital called him. It’s not his fault he misunderstood. They wouldn’t have told him details, so he wouldn’t know.”
“I’m still trying to process. Youknowyour latest test results? Then the hospital is calling, not to inform you but to…” His face pales. “They want you to come in for treatment.”
“They want me to fight it.”
“And you said no.”
“The surgery offers no guarantee, and remission doesn’t mean I’ll be healthy forever. At most, I’ll gain a few more months. Maybe a year.”
“But you’ll live.”
“At what cost?” I counter. “It’s just starting another countdown. I’ll be tethered to the hospital, too tired to build Cullen Tech or do anything that makes me feel alive. I’ll be breathing but dead.”
“What about Nardi?”
“This has nothing to do with her.”
“But you care for her.”
“I won’t ask her to choose me.”
“Why not?”
“Because the choice is going to be taken from her.”
Darrel leans forward, his eyes intent on me. “Will you continue to avoid the hospital? Will you refuse to get treatments, even if it’s for Nardi?”