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Nardi looks at me and I see her going to that place in her mind again. This time, when her eyes meet mine and she comes back to herself, she can’t quite make a full smile.
“No, Cullen,” she says brokenly. “I don’t think I can handle that right now, but…” She takes off her simple necklace and slides the ring on the chain. With a brave nod, she points across the room, “Let’s go celebrate New Year’s.”
My eyes linger on the ring.
My gut twists.
You’re going to destroy her when you die. And death is coming for you soon.
Unnerved, I follow her around, watching as she lowers the velvet curtains so the house is completely dark. Then shechanges the music to a New Year’s playlist. A soulful version of Auld Lang Syne fills the room.
Nardi changes outfits again and reappears in a tight red dress and high heels. I immediately reach out to touch her, but she steps back and tosses something at me instead. It’s a white button down shirt.
“Put that on,” she orders.
I stare openly at her while I put the shirt on and button it all the way to my neck. Nardi’s red dress hugs all her curves and that slit up the thigh should be illegal.
“Undo this one here.” Nardi approaches me and casually undoes the top few buttons. “There.” She nods. “Sexy.”
I rein in my urge to kiss her and try to speak as calmly as possible. “What do we do now?”
“What people usually do at New Year’s parties.” Her eyes shoot to mine and then away. She clears her throat. “I know you can’t drink alcohol so I didn’t bring any wine. But we can dance under the disco ball.”
I laugh at the foil-covered ball and slip my hands around Nardi’s waist, swaying from side to side. She wraps her arms around my neck and I have to bend a little further to accommodate her small frame. But I don’t mind. She fits perfectly in my arms and I really don’t want to let her go.
“Cullen,” Nardi whispers, her head tucked into my shoulder.
“Hm?”
“What’s your New Year’s wish?”
My heart tightens painfully. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it.”
“Mine is to be happy,” Nardi says. “In the New Year, I want to be with the people I love and I want us all to be healthy and happy. That would be enough for me.”
A lump forms in my throat. “That’s a good wish.”
“What about you?”
I adjust my hand on the small of her back. “My wish?”
“It can be anything,” Nardi coaches me.
“I guess, I wish for you to be happy and healthy with the people you love.”
“That doesn’t count, Cullen. It has to beyourwish. Foryourself.”
I think about it. “I wish…” I close my eyes and speak honestly, “that I could live in a world where I never met you.”
Nardi steps back, her eyes glazing with emotions.
I keep her in the circle of my arms, not allowing her to break away completely. “In that world, you’d meet someone in a coffee shop or at work, someone healthy, honest and kind. He’d fall in love with you at first sight and he wouldn’t wait too long to propose to you.”
Just then, her playlist shifts to a countdown.
“10!”
“You’d adopt three kids and, even though you didn’t give birth to them, your daughters would have your pretty smile.” I touch her mouth.