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Her jaw slackens. Her eyelashes bounce up and down.
It’s like I dropped a bomb on her. But there’s more than just surprise in her expression. I see pain.
So much pain.
And I kick myself for letting us get to the point where hearing about my death hurts her.
“But you,” she licks her lips and I can tell her thoughts are rushing faster than she can catch them, “you can see another specialist. Or there might be a clinical trial you can sign up for. An experimental drug. Another surgery?—”
“I can’t do that.”
Her eyes dart back and forth. “You can’t. Or you won’t?”
“Nardi,” I sigh, “there may be a solution out there, but I don’t want to waste the last of my life chasing after something that may or may not work.”
“But you can’t justgive up.”
“I’m not giving up. I’m fighting to leave a legacy behind. That’s what you and Josiah are. You’re the reason I lived. You’re the reason I can die fulfilled.”
She squeezes her eyes shut as if I slapped her. “You talk as if everything is final, but you haven’t eventried.If you’d told me you’d already done a clinical trial, if you said you’d already traveled the world to see other doctors, if you’d truly exhausted every avenue, I wouldn’t be like this.”
“I don’t want to participate in a clinical trial. I don’t want to travel the world.”
“Not even for me?” Nardi asks, lifting her tear-filled eyes to mine.
My chest squeezes and squeezes. I pinch my lips together, finding it hard to speak.
“I’ve always wanted to orchestrate my life and death in my own way. I was decided. I was sure.” I glance at her and with a choked breath admit, “You made me waver, Nardi.”
“But I wasn’t enough to convince you.”
I say brokenly, “I’m sorry, Nardi.”
Hurt crystalizes in her brown eyes. “You said you loved me.”
“I do.”
“No, you don’t. You’re a liar and a coward.”
I flinch at the accusation.
“Do you know how selfish you are? You blew into our lives and you kept pushing and pushing until you became a part of us. You made my brother trust you and love you. You made me fall for you—” She shudders. “Now you just want to peace out and die?Have you ever thought that Josiah needs you around more than he needs the promise of your company in the future? Have you ever thought that I need you!”
The agony in my chest isn’t from the disease ravaging my body. It’s from the hole in my heart. “This is why I asked you to hate me,” I whisper. “I didn’t want this to happen, Nardi. I really didn’t.”
“You’re right. This is my fault. I’m the one who didn’t follow through on our deal.” She inhales deeply, tears brimming in her eyes.
Suddenly, she flings her door open.
Alarmed, I reach for my door handle too, but a sudden, striking pain hits my chest. It’s the same pain I felt the day Jenna and Sara rushed me to the hospital.
Pushing past the extreme discomfort, I pull on the handle and wrench my shoulder against the door to push it open.
“Nardi,” I call. Standing makes me woozy so I lean against the car instead. “Wait.”
She spins around, her braids flying behind her. “I’ll return the share agreement and all the other documents back to your office. Tell Roger that my wrist is fine now so we don’t need a chauffeur. I’m driving myself.”
“Nardi,” I take a pained step forward.