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Again, that idea ofmorefelt like the right risk to contemplate.
“We are?” She sat up with a funny smile on her face. If the mention of going somewhere could make her light up like this, I’d do it more often. Something had changed since last night. I couldn’t be sure if it was her selflessness to help my grandmother without being asked to or the slower, moreintimate sex we’d had in the bath, but I felt like we were advancing to something significantlymore.
“Yeah. I’ve noticed how much you enjoy pancakes. So let’s go get some. I don’t want to be stuck here today.”
“Well…” She shrugged, lowering her gaze. “Go ahead, then. I’ll be here when you’re back.”
I shook my head. “No. Because I need you with me.” As she kneeled to the edge of the bed under my beckoning with a crook of my finger, I cupped her face and kissed her. “I want you with me.”
She grinned, giddy at the prospect of going somewhere as simple as breakfast with me. “I want you with me too,” she replied.
Hell, maybe it’s not the food she’s excited about but spending time with me.
“Get dressed. I’m going to check on something and I’ll be right back.”
She nodded, obedient, but I had to smile at the excitement in her eyes. I left to go to Father’s office and open the vault so I could choose a ring that had been in the family for ages. Beatrice’s was burned, never to be used again with how she’d betrayed Father and the family, risking her sons with her affair. Her lovers had tried to have me and my brothers killed for her lies.
But maybe… it doesn’t have to always be like that.
I chose the emerald and diamond ring, thinking of Sloane’s eyes, and set it in a small case.
Just to see how it feels.
If I could think about marrying her, that was the first step. A primitive one I didn’t necessarily have to act on.
If I carried this ring around as a reminder of what could be possible, I could warm up to changing my mind about marriage and wives and having a woman forever.
After she got dressed and we headed out with a couple of men flanking us, I savored this strange feeling that we were just any other couple. Two people out on a weekend morning for pancakes. If this was all she needed to feel happy, I could bend a little more.
It was because she had opened up so fully, almost getting me to think I could trust her with more than wanting to care about my wounded family members, that I wanted to do this small thing for her.
Just so long as you know you’re never getting away from me.I watched her smile out the window as we were driven through the city to a hole-in-the-wall place that she swore made thebestpancakes in the whole state.
“This is different,” she said on the way.
“What is?”
She still held my hand in the backseat as she shrugged. “Going out with you. Makes me feel like we're a real couple.”
I know.She’d stolen the words from me.
“But I still understand that we’re not,” she added.
Damn it.
I didn’t want her to put a damper on the mood. Refusing to comment and start a little bickering, I sighed and turned to look out the window instead of staring at her like a lovesick fool.
Lovesick?
Fuck no.
I was not going to fall in love with her. Ever since that thought had entered my mind a few days ago, I kicked it out as soon as my imagination ran away with her starring in my future.
She was here to give me a child.
And to… just be there.
Until I could put the worry to rest that she could be hiding something from me, I wouldnotlower my guard.