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He told me that he cared about me.
No details were given, but he did break down to grudgingly admit that.
He didn’t like my giving him my back and anticipating going numb around him.
No reason was provided, but he reacted strongly to the idea of my closing up.
So… where does that leave us?
As we lay together, I couldn’t stop wondering if he’d care about me once I admitted that I was pregnant. He’d been abundantly clear that was all he wanted to kidnap and keep me for. Sooneror later, he’d make me take a test. And I’d start to show eventually.
Maybe I’ll never have to tell him that I was already pregnant when he captured me.
That felt deceiving, but it was my instinct to stay on his “good” side. After all he’d done for me, I felt guilty about his not being able to trust me. Trust was a two-way street, though. He sure didn’t trust me, having to keep me here locked like this.
No matter what, I refused to dwell on the beginning of pain that encroached when I had to think back to how he said he didn’t commit.
No girlfriends.
No wives.
Just… this.
“What’s that sigh for?” he asked.
I hadn’t realized I had exhaled like that again. I shrugged, not wanting to leave his side. With his thumb stroking over my shoulder, I was in a trance-like comfort.
“You don’t have to hurry off for a meeting?” I asked. I wasn’t sure of all of what he did, and I didn’t want the details anyway. The less I knew, the better. “I’m surprised you’re still in bed two days in a row like this.”
He kissed the top of my head. “Last night was a difficult one. The Cartel opened fire on us at one of our warehouses?—”
I reached up and pressed my hand over his mouth as I shook my head. “No. Please don’t.”
He tugged my hand away and kissed my palm while it was near his mouth. “What?”
“Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know any details.”
“Too gruesome to handle?” He arched a brow.
“No. I just don’t want to get involved and know anything.” I lowered my gaze to marvel at his tattooed chest, dragging my fingertip over the lines. “I’m not that naïve, Maxim. If I’m here and anyone were to ever get to me?—”
“They won’t,” he vowed.
“Okay. Hypothetically. The longer you keep me here, the longer I’m associated with your organization, and I know you’ve got to have tons of enemies out there.”
“Do you doubt that I can keep you safe?”
“No.” I shook my head. “But I also know I can’t predict the future and, well, there’s no changing the fact that you have enemies and that I’m a part of your world now.” I didn’t cower under his somber stare. “Survival of the fittest. The less I know and could be questioned about if I were ever taken, the less chance of someone being able to hurt me.”
“Ignorance is bliss?” he guessed mockingly.
I nodded. “I hope it could be.” I leaned back against the pillows. “Besides, you just told me last night that you don’t trust me. So don’t go contradicting yourself and telling me about ‘business’.”
He grabbed my fingers as I did air quotes and kissed the tips of them as he brought them to his lips. Small things like this should’ve warmed me up. Little touches. Instant need for contact. It was making me get my hopes up that he couldn’t keephis hands off me, like he needed to be reassured that I was with him no matter what.
Just not as his girlfriend or anything more.
“I’m not telling you about business.” He brushed my hair back from my face before he kissed me. “I was merely explaining that last night, my brothers and I were shot at, and because of the cleanup necessary with that incident, things will move slower today.”