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Among the danger to the family we experienced tonight, that conceptwason my mind. If Father didn’t make it, our legacy would carry on with me. He’d leave it all to me and my brothers to manage. But if something happened to meor my brothers? That would be the end of our bloodline.
“This is a difficult time,” she said sagely, “but perhaps now you will agree with me about the need for an heir. We need one now more than ever.”
Detesting the burn of their stares on me, specifically, I wanted to rally against the expectation to fuck some woman I didn’t want just to breed her.
Some random woman would serve that purpose.
But now, I couldn’t help but envision that sexy blonde with her long waves tumbling over her shoulder as she leaned back on me, sucking me deep into her pussy.
I wantedher. If I had to be forced to let a woman in my life, ironically, she was the one who came to mind.
13
SLOANE
AMafia boss.
I was pregnant with a Mafia boss’s baby.
It wasn’t like a lowlife, cheating loser had walked into that VIP room and knocked me up.
But a freaking member of one of the deadliest Mafia families in the city.
All night long, I did my best to dance and finish my shift. Stanley’s was packed. So many guests filled the club, and with a full house like this, I could’ve counted on a very good night of tips. Dollar bills were flying all over the place, but unlike the rest of the women on stage, I couldn’t bring myself to care. I couldn’t even slow the frantic thoughts in my mind for long enough to notice how good of a night this was.
Nothing had changed about my needing money. I did. Now more than ever, I had to be focused on making every penny I could. I would soon be expected to care for a baby. I’d have someone dependent on me for their survival.
And I could barely keep myself alive and functioning as it was.
Instead of trying hard and taking advantage to make every dollar I could tonight, I was stuck in a spiral of worst-case scenarios filling my head. Dancing never took conscious effort. I still moved automatically, letting the music rule my motions. But in that downtime to think and ponder, I was sucked into a reel of all the horrible things that could happen.
I imagined seeing that brutish, sexy man again. If he were to know about this baby, he might try to tell me to get rid of it.
I was only hours into this pregnancy and I knew that wasnothappening. Not as long as I lived and breathed would anyone tell me to terminate this new life. I was already this fiercely protective of him or her. This wasn’t how I ever imagined becoming a mother, and yes, I had a lot of details to figure out, but that was non-negotiable. I wouldn’t consider terminating this baby—ever. But in the dark and scared recesses of my mind, I could see how a Mafia boss might expect me to erase this “inconvenience” without a second thought.
Or maybe he’d try to take him or her from me.Not to get rid of it, but to claim custody without any of my input. That option didn’t make me feel any better. Losing this child would ruin me. I knew that without even meeting him or her yet, and I’d be damned if some rich and powerful man could take charge ofmychild.
Gritting my teeth as I finished a slide on the pole, I wanted to chastise myself all over again for the fact that I was in this mess at all.
How many times had I scolded myself not to ever consider getting with a man again?
How many times had I refused to think about having sex with someone who could end up controlling me?
And how many times had I stubbornly resisted any involvement with the criminals and Mafia men who came around here?
Multiple times. I had told myself that multiple times. I knew better, and that was the one thing I regretted so sorely. I’d learned my lesson about trusting a man. I had lived through the hard mistake of counting on a man not to hurt me. In those few moments of meeting that man who’d single-handedly scared off and wounded those three creeps who’d cornered me at that party, I got so hung up on the illusion that he cared about me that I gave in to my desire for him.
It just happened so fast.All common sense escaped me when he looked me over like he was proud to have rescued me from a worse fate with those other guys.
In one night, I’d somehow gotten knocked up, but the result of that surrender would be with me forever. I would never be the same. I was now on my way to be a mother, no longer able to ever claim total independence again.
Maybe I can just not tell him.
Later, once I had a hoodie hanging over me and I counted my cash, I realized that if I minded my own business for a little longer and stayed out of trouble, I could work more nights like this one and have enough to provide for a baby.
There had to be a way forward that wouldn’t include needing backup for a baby. Icoulddo this on my own, somehow. Hell, my neighbor was a single mother and she kept her children… alive. I couldn’t say that her infant and toddler looked well cared for or happy, but they were alive and she was doing the best she could.
Just like I will.