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He turned to me, his eyes so full of love, I couldn't speak.

"Maybe if you gave it half a try, Rain, you could think of me as not being your brother. Maybe you could look at me different."

"I don't know if I could, Roy," I said as honestly as I was able.

"I never touched you or kissed you except as a brother, Rain. Things change when that happens."

I started to shake my head, but he moved his hand off mine and let his fingers glide softly up my arm as he leaned toward me.

"I remember once when you were only about thirteen, I was walking by your door and I gazed in when you had just taken a shower. You were standing there naked and I know I should have turned away, but I couldn't. It was like my eyes were metal and you were a magnet."

I felt the heat rise up my neck and into my cheeks.

"You were already on the threshold of being a beautiful young girl, Rain. I can still see you now as if it happened minutes ago. You aren't mad about it, are you?"

I shook my head, afraid that if I tried to speak, my voice would crack or get caught in my throat.

"Your skin's like one of those mocha cream puffs," he continued, his hand reaching my bare shoulder.

I lay there trembling under the blanket, uncertain, wondering what to do that wouldn't make him feel hurt and angry. He did seem like a stranger, but he also seemed weak, dazed, perplexed. I held my breath and it felt as if the hands of the clock froze as well. The tips of Roy's fingers were just under the edge of the blanket, inches from my naked breasts. I couldn't stop the tingle of excitement from whirling about in my stomach, but I felt guilty for it, embarrassed.

His fingers began to move the blanket down.

"Don't, Roy," I stammered, trembling more. I brought my right arm around to hold the blanket up.

"I know I shouldn't, Rain, but I can't help wanting to look at you. You've grown so lovely. I felt like a cloud hovering above a garden in which you blossomed. We've got to begin, to try and see if we can do it," he added.

My fingers, as if they had a mind of their own, relaxed as he moved the blanket to the crest of my bosom and then, after looking into my eyes, down over my nipples that stood erect to welcome exposure. I felt glued to the bed, unable to move, even to stir.

"You're beautiful, Rain."

Slowly, ever so slowly, his eyes on me until he couldn't look at me anymore, he lowered his lips to my breasts and kissed me so softly, I wasn't sure he had. Then he nudged my bosom with his nose and kissed the side of my breast before raising his face to bring his lips to mine. It wasn't a long kiss, but it was one that sent a tingle down my spine. When he lifted his head, his eyes filled with confusion.

"Why you crying?" he asked.

I hadn't even realized tears were streaming down my face.

"I can't help it," I said. "I can't help feeling

this is very wrong, Roy."

"We haven't done anything bad." He reached for my chin to turn me back so I had to look up at him. "I haven't done a single wicked or unholy thing. You and I don't share the same blood. We could have met someplace else and this would be okay, right?"

"But we didn't meet someplace else, Roy. We've been living as brother and sister for all my life and almost all of yours," I said pulling the blanket over me again. "I can't help how I feel."

"It was different though, wasn't it? Just now, it was a whole other thing, right?"

"Of course it was different."

He nodded, serious.

"Maybe it will make you think different, too." "I don't know, Roy. I'm afraid," I said.

"Sure," he said patting my hand. "Sure, that's understandable. Truth is, I'm afraid too, but I can't help the way I feel about you, Rain, and how I always felt."

"Mama would be very upset, Roy."

"Maybe at first, but not afterward," he said, sounding more like someone trying to convince himself more than me. He smiled and stood up. "I have to get to work. You going to be all right?"