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"Thank you," I said.

"I'm sorry that you'll have to make this trip by yourself on top of the shock, but..."

"I'll be all right." I was anxious to get started and get to Mama.

"I know you will, and I want you to know that I expect you to return, Rain. No matter what, I expect you to come back here and fulfill your life."

I nodded and then rose and left the office like a sleepwalker, barely realizing where I was going and what I was doing. I felt that numb.

Grandmother Hudson had told Jake why I was going to the airport. He was caring and concerned and made sure I got to the correct gate. He waited with me until they called for the passengers to board.

"This is never an easy thing to do, Rain," he said. "I didn't get a chance to say good-bye to my mother. I was overseas, but that didn't make the pain any less. You be strong, hear?"

"I will, Jake."

"See you soon," he said and then he hugged me and held me a moment before turning and hurrying away through the terminal. Moments later, I was strapping myself into a seat, feeling like I had been caught up in a whirlwind of disaster.

Just as Grandmother Hudson had promised, there was a limo driver waiting for me at the airport. He told me that he had been assigned to me for as long as I needed him and the car. He wanted to take me to the hotel first, but I insisted on going to the hospital. From the way Grandmother Hudson had described the situation, every moment counted.

"I'll be right here waiting for you," the driver told me when we arrived.

I hurried out and to the information desk. The elderly woman volunteer sent me to the fourth floor. When I stepped out, I immediately saw Roy sitting in a small waiting room, his head down, his elbows on his legs, his hands against his forehead. He was in uniform. I walked up to him slowly. There was no one else in the waiting room. He seemed to sense my presence and lifted his head. His eyes were bloodshot from spilled tears. He blinked as though not believing what he saw and then he smiled.

"Rain," he said standing. "Rain." He threw his arms around me and held me.

I had forgotten how good it felt to be held in his strong arms, to lay my head against his chest and feel his hand stroke my hair while he comforted me and promised to always be there to protect me.

"How is she?" I asked stepping back.

He shook his head.

"She's real bad, Rain. She can't even open her eyes anymore. It's like watching a clock tick down. I'm happy you're here," he said, "and I'm sure she will be too. She'll know you're there. You just hold her hand and talk to her like I've been doing and she'll know.

"You look good," he said with a soft smile. "Like you're all grown or something."

"It hasn't been that long, Roy."

"Oh, it's been long for me, Rain."

"You look good, too," I said. He did. He looked more mature, even stronger and firmer.

"How's it been, living wit

h the rich white folks?"

"Not easy, Roy," I said smiling. "Not easy." I looked toward the doorway. "Where's Aunt Sylvia?"

"She's at her friend's house. She was here all morning," he said.

"I want to see Mama right away, Roy."

"I'll take you there," he said. He put his arm around my shoulders. "How'd you get here and all?" he asked. I told him what Grandmother Hudson had arranged. "A limo, too? They are rich, huh?"

"They have money, Roy, but I wouldn't call them rich, not the way I want to be rich," I said.

He didn't understand, but I thought there would be more time later to explain.

No matter what had been told to me, there was no way to anticipate what I would find when I entered the intensive care unit and Roy led me to Mama's bedside. She looked so much smaller and so much thinner. The bones in her face seemed to be rising out of her skin. Her eyes were shut tight. I thought she was already gone and a panic seized my heart.