Page 19

I woke with a start in the middle of the night.

She had entered so quietly that apparently no one else in the house had heard. At first I thought it was Ken still drunk and confused, wandering about. I sat up quickly, my heart going like a jackhammer. Someone was standing in the doorway, silhouetted by the weak hallway light. She just stood there staring in at me, not moving, dark and still as a bad dream. For a moment I couldn't find my voice.

"Beni?" I whispered. Why was she home? Why would she just be standing there?

I heard a sob and then she entered and threw herself across my bed, her knees on the floor, her head against my legs. She sobbed louder, harder.

"Beth, what's wrong? Why are you home?"

"Oh, Rain, they put something in my drink. I woke up a little while ago in a bed and I was naked. I had to crawl on the floor to find my clothes. I couldn't find everything. They stole my panties. Someone's got my panties!" she wailed.

I helped her up and she embraced me and hung on as if we were both in a sinking boat. Her tears soaked my cheek. We rocked together. Never had Beni ever held me as tightly. I felt horrible for her.

"What happened, Beni? Tell me all of it."

She choked back her tears and buried her face in my pillow.

"I can't. I'm so ashamed. When I woke up I saw an empty film container on the floor. Maybe they took pictures of me. I'm so ashamed."

"I thought those girls were your friends, Beni. Why did they let this happen?"

She lifted her head and took a deep breath.

"They were all drinking and smoking pot and then ...then I don't know. The music was loud. Everyone was having so much fun. I didn't watch myself. I just did what they were doing because I thought Carlton liked that. He was drinking vodka in cranberry juice. I was drinking the same thing. I couldn't even taste the vodka. We went into Alicia's bedroom. I remember that. He was kissing me and telling me how much he liked me. We were on the bed and..."

"What?" I asked. She appeared to be recalling it as she described it to me.

"The door opened. The lights were bright. I heard lots of laughter and there were other boys. The room started to spin. Then I don't remember, Rain. I can't remember anything. I just woke up and found myself naked. I was naked! They must have put something in my drink!"

"Okay, Beni. Okay. Take it easy. You'll wake Roy," I warned, even though I didn't think so. I had to calm her down.

She took a deep breath and nodded.

"I don't know what all they did to me, Rain. I got stuff on me, on my legs and stomach," she said in a loud whisper.

I held my breath.

"Stuff?"

"I think...from boys," she said. "You know, when they get excited."

"Oh, Jesus," I moaned. I couldn't help it. It sounded so disgusting. "You take a hot bath now. I'll go fix it for you, Beni."

She seized my hand, squeezing it so hard it hurt. "Maybe I'm in big trouble, Rain."

"No, no," I said trying to assure her.

"What am? What if I get pregnant or something?" "You're not going to. Stop thinking the worst. Let me go fix your bath, Beni. Just rest here."

I lifted her arm from my waist and slipped off the bed. She buried her face in the pillow and continued to sob, her cries getting louder.

"Don't, Beni. You're sure to wake Mama. And Ken is back, too," I said.

She stopped crying and pushed herself up a little. "Ken's back?"

"Yes. Roy and I went to the movies and when we came home, we found him passed out on the sofa. He's pr

obably still there. I don't even know if Mama knows he's back."