Page 24

"If you're so afraid, you don't have to sit with me, Lucy," I said.

She looked at the girls and then at me.

"I have--to go to the bathroom," she said and left quickly.

Beni didn't want me helping her and now the few friends I had were afraid to be seen with me. How I hated this place, I thought. But home, where I felt like a caged animal, was no better. Mama couldn't do anything to help. Ken was irresponsible, and poor Roy was struggling to keep us above water.

That afternoon when we returned home from school we found Ken in the living room, smoking, drinking a beer and watching television. Why wasn't he at work?

"That you, girls?" he called.

"Yes, Ken," Beni said.

"Good. Beni, get me another beer, will ya. My foot's bothering me today."

She looked at me and went to the refrigerator. I followed her into the living room and watched her hand Ken his beer.

"How come you're home so early?" she asked him. "Ah, that moron supervisor fired me," he said. "He had it in for me right from the start."

"So why aren't you looking for another job?" I asked quickly, so quickly it snapped his head around.

"Since when did you get such a mouth?"

I felt my heart skip a beat. From the way he was shaking his head, I knew he had already had too much to drink.

"I'm just worried about Mama. She's working an extra shift to make ends meet," I told him.

"What about Roy? He's bringing in a good check. Don't worry," he said waving his hand, "we aren't gonna starve." He stared at the two of us as he drank from his bottle of beer. "You girls ought to find a job, too," he added.

"That's what I told Mama," Beni said.

"Well, that's good. At least you aren't lazy. That's good."

"She won't let us work," Beni complained.

"What? Why not? That's stupid. You're both strong young girls. You can do something until I find another position."

"When's that going to be?" I asked.

Again, he glared at me with those glassy eyes.

"When I find it," he said firmly. "Don't you go being another nag around here," he warned. "You've got no right to talk to me like that. You've got no right to make any demands, girl."

I felt my eyebrows rise. He made it sound as if I wasn't a member of the family.

"None of you do," he added. "Now leave me be. I'm trying to relax and forget my troubles for a while."

"Tell Mama to let me quit school and get a job," Beni told him. "Tell her, Ken."

"I will," he promised, nodding emphatically. "I certainly will. You girls are old enough to help out. I don't see why not." He guzzled more beer. "Comes a time when a man's kids should make things easier for him. Why not?" he muttered and nodded as if he was talking himself into the idea.

Beni looked pleased.

"Don't listen to him, Beni," I whispered when we left the living room. "You can smell the alcohol on him. He doesn't know what he's saying."

"Yes, he does. I hope he tells Mama to let me quit school and work," she emphasized.

I shook my head at her with disgust and went into our room to change. Then I started preparing supper. Mama had brought home some pork chops from the supermarket last night. At least they let her buy groceries at the wholesale prices. Some time back she had shown me how to make stuffed pork chops, which was one of Roy's favorite meals. I began to saute the onions. The aroma from the garlic and herbs filled the small apartment. Ken peered in to see what I was doing just as Beni came out of the bathroom. His eyes opened and closed and he wobbled in the doorway.