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I grasped the curtain, hopefully before Brock got an eyeful, and held the front together. “Is the exit this way?” I asked jerkily, already heading toward the gigantic hole where my living room wall should be.
“Hang on! Let me walk you out!”
I was so determined not to let him see me in this state that I started climbing over the rubble myself, and not very carefully. “It’s okay! I’ve got it.”
And that’s when my foot rolled and I went sliding sideways, grasping at anything I could to prevent myself from falling. The curtains that were half hanging on the wall were my only reprieve, butas soon as I latched on, they tore and I went falling sideways with a cry.
But I never hit the ground. Brock caught me, landing on the rubble-covered floor first, with me smashing him. I sighed, dropping my head down on his chest, only to realize that my chest—my very exposed chest—was pressing against his body.
“What’s going on? What happened?” Steak Boy cried.
“Oh. My. God,” I whispered in mortification.
Brock cleared his throat, keeping his hands spread wide, far away from my body. “Um…I don’t suppose this is a turn on for you.”
I dropped my head, shaking it from side to side on his chest. “No, no, no,” I cried. “Can this day get any worse?”
He choked out a laugh, his chest rumbling underneath my cheek. “That’s not exactly what most men want to hear when a beautiful woman is laying on top of him naked.”
“Kill me. Kill me now!”
“Again, not what a guy wants to hear.”
“What’s all the—oh.”
I turned my head, only furthering my mortification when I saw Steak Boy had somehow climbed out of the pit and was now staring at me laying on top of Brock.
“Is there any way you can forget you saw this?”
He shook his head slightly, trying to hold back a laugh. “Not sure I can do that.”
You would not believehow long it took for someone to get me a shirt and a pair of pants. I sat in my shower curtain for way too long, praying that people would stop staring at me.
“I was in the shower!” I shouted as a woman passed me, looking at me funny.
Lee handed me a bottle of water, sitting down beside me. “Fuck those bitches. You know they’ll be the first to die in an apocalypse.”
I huffed in agreement, glaring at the woman sneering at me. “I can’t believe this is happening. All my clothes are in the house!”
“So are mine,” she said, inflecting no emotion into her voice.
“Yes, but you’re actually wearing something.”
“Just think,” she said after a moment, “if we had died in that house, you wouldn’t have to think about clothes right now.”
I slowly turned and looked at her. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“No.”
Sighing, I pulled the curtain tighter around me and tried not to think about how I was going to find someplace to stay for the night. I already put in a call to Edith, hoping she would be able to file a claim quickly.
“I heard you flopped on top of the hot guy while you were naked. Way to be obvious.”
“I didn’t flop on top of him,” I said in exasperation. “I tripped and fell in such a way that I…fell on top of him. Chest to chest.”
“And he just happened to see your naked bits.”
“Don’t call them that. It sounds so wrong.”