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“Yeah, I know a good cuddle always changes my life,” he teased.
“Fuck you. I don’t see you making any grand gestures with a woman.”
“Well, I tried, but she turned me down.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t answer the door when you’re about to fuck a woman,” I shot back.
“Maybe you should have taken those ladies up on their offer when they were in your room. At least then you’d be thinking about them and not the woman about to straddle the fireman’s pole.”
“Oh God,” I hung my head. “So many images…so many bad things…”
“Yeah.” He clapped me on the shoulder, but I didn’t feel any better. This was going to be my life now. I’d lost her to the fireman.
“Wait!” My head snapped up as a thought occurred to me. “Andrew asked a favor of me before he left.”
“I don’t think I like where this is going.”
“He asked me to look after her, to make sure she dated the right guys. That means I have to follow her. I have to make sure this guy is a good guy.”
“Dash, think about what you’re doing…”
“I am. I’m protecting her. We know nothing about this guy. He could be a murderer, killing people with his axe.”
“I’m pretty sure we would have read about that in the paper,” he quipped.
“Or maybe he’s an arsonist. Fuck, why didn’t I see this sooner?”
“Because you’re letting your dick talk for you,” he said, standing atthe same time I did. “Man, you’ve gotta let this go. You lost your chance.”
“No,” I grinned. “I gained an opportunity.” I faced him as a plan formed in my mind. “We’re going to need rappelling gear, camouflage, and face paint.”
He groaned, shaking his head at me. “I’m not cut out for this. Face paint fucks up my pores.”
I gripped him by the shoulder. “Do you want to have some fireman come in and steal your woman from you?”
“I don’t have a woman.”
“It won’t be long. And when it happens, I’ll be there for you.”
“I know,” he said slowly. “And do you know how I know?” I just stared at him. “Because right now that jar of secrets we share is filling up really fast. If I ever become stupid enough to act like this around a woman, trust me, you’re the first person I’m calling.”
I slapped both hands on his cheeks, squeezing happily. “Then let’s get to work.”
“I just wantto be the voice of reason that points out how very wrong this is,” Brock muttered.
I laid on the hill with my binoculars, decked out in my camouflage and face paint. From this vantage point, I could see perfectly into the restaurant, right where Laura was sitting at the window with the fireman.
I scoffed as I zoomed in on what he was wearing. “Do you see that suit? It doesn’t even fit him. He looks like the Hulk.”
“Um…we look like that when we wear suits too,” Brock answered.
I slowly lowered my binoculars and turned to face him. “Did I ask for your input?”
“What the fuck am I doing here if you don’t want it?”
“Uh…hello? You’re here to keep me from doing anything stupid.”
“Oh, you mean like hiding on a hill and spying on your non-girlfriend as she goes on a date with a hot guy?”