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I tossed the last two cucumbers in the cart and turned to her with a glare. “I’m not thinking about dicks. I’m?—”
“Making a salad,” she nodded. “And thinking about dicks.”
I growled in frustration, then pushed the cart to the checkout even though I hadn’t gotten anything I wanted. “You know, it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t want to be with me like that,” I shouted over my shoulder. “It’s not like that with us, and I’m okay with that. So what if I’ll never get to have an intimate relationship? I still have all these other wonderful things.”
“Like snuggles,” she said, gagging slightly.
“Right, and then there’s all the fun we have together and?—”
“Yeah, I get it. He’s great. But what happens when you want kids? Not that I think that’s a great idea,” she muttered. “It’s just one more step toward the grave if you ask me. But you’re more…into that stuff than me. And then you’re going to be all sad because he doesn’t want kids with you. And then I’ll tell you that this was going to happen. By the time you realize you’re never going to get what you want with him, you’ll be so heartbroken that you’ll never find love again. And that’s probably best considering the state the world is in right now. I mean, the world is going to end soon. Why be happy only to have it torn away from you?”
God, she was so morbid, and I couldn’t take that right now. I turned into the checkout lane and started piling cucumber after cucumber onto the belt. “You know what? I don’t care if the world ends tomorrow. I would rather be happy with him while I can. Even if it never goes any further than it is now. I would be happy with that! And who are you to judge me anyway? You sleep with Brock and dominate him in the bedroom, but I don’t criticize you for that!”
I finished loading up the cucumbers, then turned to the cashier with a sigh. She stared at the conveyor belt in fascination. “Big…cucumber party?”
I looked at her in confusion, then counted the massive amount of cucumbers laid out. It was too late to turn back now. I would look like an idiot if I suddenly had to put them all back because I had freaked out about Dash and just kept grabbing cucumbers.
I straightened my shoulders and looked her dead in the eyes. “As a matter of fact, yes.”
I ignored the scoff that came from Lee and pulled out my debit card. Now I just had to figure out what to do with all these. Once they were all rung up, I hauled all the bags into the cart and marched out to the car. I was fuming mad now, but a part of me couldn’t deny that Lee was right. Eventually, this would all come tumbling down around me, and then what would I do? I would be devastated if I lost Dash, and the thought of him telling me he wanted someone else was too much to take. I almost started crying.
“Laura…”
I ignored Lee as I put the bags in the trunk. She stood there staring at me as I shut the trunk and then pushed the cart to the return. But once I was back in the car, I couldn’t hide from her watchful gaze.
I sighed, my shoulders slumping in defeat. “I don’t want to lose him,” I whispered, the tears finally threatening to slip from my eyes. “I love him.”
“Is this the part where I’m supposed to comfort you?”
Despite my sadness, I couldn’t help but laugh. Lee was the worst person ever to cry in front of. I swiped the tears from my eyes and sat up straight. “You’re right. I shouldn’t cry.”
“I don’t care if you do. Just don’t expect me to know what to do.”
“Understood.” I sighed. “He’s going to think I’m crazy when he sees all these cucumbers.”
“Well, just tell him you’re having a dick party and everything will be fine.”
I huffed out a laugh and started the car. As I headed to his house, I tried to come up with some excuse that was better than a dick party, but none came to mind. Even my excuse of making a lot of salad wouldn’t hold up. There wasn’t a party big enough to have all these cucumbers. In the end, I decided to stick with Lee’s excuse. At least it would get an interesting response.
I grabbed the bags while Lee scrolled through her phone, sighing loudly. Knowing her, she’d probably just read another article about the end of the world. I ignored her and headed inside.
“—longer is this gonna go on?”
I stopped in the entry, not wanting to interrupt what sounded like an intense conversation.
“Look, I’m handling it.”
“That’s what you said two weeks ago when you were snuggled up in the chair with her. You need to end this.”
“I know that!” Dash snapped.
“Then do it. Rip off the bandaid and tell her to get the fuck out.”
I almost dropped my bags as I listened to the conversation, realizing now that it was about me.
“You know why I can’t do that.”
“It’s not gonna get any easier. Look, she has someplace to go. It’s not like you’re kicking her out on the streets. But the longer you wait, the harder this is gonna be.”