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CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Ronan
Four WeeksLater
My heart racing, I pace back and forth up and down the hallway as I try to calm down. I stop for a moment to listen to the people downstairs at the party, but it’s no use. I’m a nervous wreck.
On one of my passes in front of my bedroom door, I consider going inside and closing the door behind me, letting tonight go by without following through on my plans. It’s not like tonight is anything special. Just one of Ava’s parties. I can do what I want any other night.
Busy talking myself out of what I couldn’t wait to do earlier today, I don’t hear my brother come up behind me until he taps me on the shoulder. I jump, startled that I’m not alone.
“What are you doing up here?” Marius asks with a look on his face like he thinks I’m some idiot.
“I’m not ready to go downstairs yet.”
His expression morphs into one of complete confusion. “Why?”
It’s no surprise he doesn’t understand why I’m a mess and standing up here in the hallway while everyone else is downstairs having a good time. Marius has never a day in his life worried he was going to make a fool of himself. I swear he was born with all the confidence he’d ever need and likely some for me.
I take a deep breath in and let it out slowly, trying to calm myself. It doesn’t work.
“What if I screw this up?” I ask him, silently hoping he understands now is not the time to bust my balls about anything.
Knowing his nature, he won’t be picking up any of the signals I’m sending about that, though. He wasn’t just born brimming with confidence. He’s also been the world’s biggest bust ass from the moment he entered this world.
And right now, that’s the last damn thing I need.
He sets his hands on my shoulders and squares me up in front of him. I wait for him to say something snide or stupid, but this time, he disappoints me, thankfully.
“You’re not going to screw anything up. You’ve got this, Ronan. It’s a done deal. Trust me.”
But that doesn’t convince me as much as it should.
“How? How do you know? You have no idea what Kate’s like.”
That gets me a big smile. “True, but you’ve said time and again that she’s smart and sweet, so that tells me she’s going to love what you’re doing tonight. Don’t worry. She’s crazy about you, dude. This is going to be a cakewalk.”
God, I hope he’s right.
“If I was like you, I wouldn’t even worry. It would be a done deal.”
He laughs at that and says, “If you were like me, you wouldn’t be doing this. You aren’t like me, though. You’re your own man,Ronan. You’ve been through hell these past eight months, but that’s all changed now. Just take a deep breath and do this.”
“I guess if someone who hates love as much as you do is egging me on, I should do this.”
Marius nods and starts pushing me backwards down the hallway toward the stairs. “First of all, I don’t hate love. I just don’t think it’s all it’s cracked up to be like everyone else. Now come on. There’s no time like the present.”
Even though I don’t say it, one horrible question fills my brain. What if she says no?
I don’t mention that to my brother since he would think that’s the most ridiculous question in the world. Instead, I turn around and slowly walk down the stairs with him following behind me.
“She got here five minutes ago, and I told her I’d come up and find you. Better hope she’s not pissed you left her to fend for herself with all these people. Shy girls don’t like that, little brother.”
Spinning around halfway down the stairs, I glare at him. “Why are you doing this now? Can’t you see I don’t need another thing to worry about?”
Marius walks past me, smiling as he says, “You don’t have anything to worry about. She’d have to be crazy to say no to you.”
Maybe he’s right. Kate loves me as much or maybe even more than she did when we were together the first time. I love her like I always have—completely without reservation. She’s the only woman I’ve ever loved, and I hope tonight she’s ready to make it official.