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She’s a few minutes, but when she turns around to see me, she’s happy. “Ronan! I didn’t know anyone had come in. How was the lunch? I saw you brought back much of the cake. Didn’t Kate like it?”
Quickly, I move to assure her everything was great. “No, she loved it. She had both pieces. She loved the shrimp kabobs too. Thank you for helping me with the whole thing.”
Eleanor’s round face lights up at my compliments. “Oh, I’m so happy. Why didn’t she take any home with her?”
Sheepishly, I answer, “Because I forgot to offer. I’m a little rusty with the ins and outs of dates.”
Waving that away like it’s an impossibility she refuses to consider, Eleanor washes her hands and then joins me at the table. Sitting across from me, she sighs and then wipes away a stray crumb from next to her.
“You know, Ronan, I think you’ve made a lot of progress recently. I’d say Kate has a lot to do with that, but it’s mostly you. I get the sense you’ve decided you’ve had enough of hanging out in your bedroom.”
I nod and gently correct her. “Hiding out, you mean.”
She smiles at how I accurately put what I’ve been up to for nearly two months since I came here. “Well, hiding out works too. I’m just glad to see you happy. I’ve been waiting for that for so long.”
“I think everyone has.”
“You know, I’ve watched you grow into a good man, Ronan. I always knew you would be. Your mother and I used to sit down here at this very table when you were a baby in her arms and talk about what your future would be like. Your father was sure you’d be great at business, of course, but she believed you had a different future. She didn’t know what, though, and that bothered her because with all four of your brothers, she could sense what theirs would be.”
Eleanor stops and sighs again. “Well, not Theo, although she was sure he was going to make a big splash in the world, no matter what he did. But she knew Matthias would be an artist, even though she also understood your father was going to make sure he took over the company someday. She hoped it would be later than sooner. And with Kellen, she sensed from when he was small that he’d be a titan of industry. That’s what she called him.”
I have to smile at the idea that my mother knew that about my Kellen. He’s always been the bossiest of all of us.
“And Marius. Well, she had a feeling he had the artistic gene in him too, and she was right. But with you, she wasn’t sure what you’d turn out to be, but I know she always believed you’d be someone people would look up to. Not in a business or artistic way, but I remember her telling me she had a feeling her last child would be someone who touched people.”
Hearing my mother believed I’d be someone special makes me happy, but I can’t help but wonder what she’d think of me now. Whatever incredible things I was going to do can’t happen anymore. I doubt anyone is looking up to me after all that’s happened.
“I hope she’s not looking down right now with disappointment,” I say in a low voice, avoiding Eleanor’s gaze.
She reaches across the table and gently touches my left hand. “Oh, no. Ronan, your mother adored you. Your father too. You have no idea how happy she was when you were born.”
“Kellen used to always tell me they should have stopped with him,” I say with a laugh, remembering how he’d throw that in my face when he was angry as a kid.
“She and your father didn’t know if she could have another baby after Kellen since she had such a hard time with him. When she found out she was pregnant again, the doctors warned her that it could be a difficult pregnancy that may risk you or her or both of you, but she never wavered. And oh, did she have morning sickness with you! We went through more saltines in those nine months than this house has seen in thirty years! But then you were born, and I swear I never saw her happier. Of course, she then told your father they were done having kids.”
“Well, you know what they say. Stop when you finally get it right.”
“She believed in you, honey. Your mother never doubted for a second that you were someone special. I know she’s lookingdown from heaven and seeing how hard things have been for you and wishing she could help.”
I know Eleanor is simply trying to be nice, but I can’t deny hearing how much my mother thought I’d do in this world depresses me. She was gone before she saw me do anything with my life, and now that’s all I can look back on with pride since nothing I’m doing now is worth much.
Standing from the table, I smile and say, “Thanks, Eleanor. For everything.”
As I step into the hallway, I nearly run into Sabrina standing just outside the kitchen. “Hey! I didn’t want to interrupt you and Eleanor since I heard you two were talking. Are you going somewhere?”
I almost answer the same place I’m always at, but I stop myself. I don’t want to spend the rest of the day in my room.
“Not sure. Maybe for a walk.”
That seems to thrill her, for some reason. “Great! I’ll come too! We can talk.”
Unsure what she wants to discuss, I shrug and start walking back toward the door in the kitchen. Maybe I’ll take a walk around the estate again. It’ll remind me of Kate.
Sabrina hurries to keep up with me as we walk across the front grass. As we pass the gardener named Leo tending to the flowers planted around the front of the house, I give him a casual nod and he returns the gesture.
“Hey, have you ever gotten a message from your mother?”
I turn to look at her and shake my head. “My mother died when I was only ten. I don’t think she left me any message, though.”