Page 34

To say we’ve struggled to find a way to be together would be an understatement. Most of the time, we’ve had to settle for his car, but that’s nothing less than truly uncomfortable.
Ronan shrugs as he thinks about my question. “I heard Amanda Isaacson was having a party at her house. I didn’t mention it since I didn’t think you’d be interested. You didn’t want to go to that, did you?”
The last place I want to be with Ronan looking as good as he does in that tux is anywhere near her. She made it perfectly clear when he and I started dating that she’d had her eye on him for a long time, and a drunken Amanda hitting on my boyfriend isn’t how I wanted to end prom night.
I shake my head and hope my expression doesn’t make it too obvious I don’t like her. I’ve never told him what she said to me about wanting him, so he probably wouldn’t understand my feeling about her.
“Are you hungry?” he asks as he opens the mini fridge. “Not that there’s anything in here, but I can run for something if you are.”
Again, I shake my head. “No, not really.”
God, I wish I had something else to say. We’ve been dating for a year, but suddenly, I have nothing clever in my head.
I used to get like this a lot when we first started going out. Ronan was so cute and so popular, and back then, I often felt like I didn’t belong with him. I’m not hideous, but I’m not like the other girls at school. They all seem to know exactly how to do their makeup and hair the best way to make them as beautiful as they can be. My hair rarely does much of anything but hang straight down from my scalp. And when it comes to makeup, I’m almost completely ignorant on how I should use it. On most days, I slap a little mascara and blush on before breaking out my favorite lip gloss, and I’m ready for school.
Thankfully, my sister Kelly knows all about makeup so she did mine tonight. If not, I would have looked like my usual self in this pink prom dress.
Ronan stands in front of me, so I look up at him. He really is the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen. If he knows that, he doesn’t seem to care, though.
“Is something wrong, Kate? I didn’t want to go to that party either. If you want to go somewhere else, we can. Just tell me, and I’ll get us there.”
God, is there another girl who has a better boyfriend in the world?
“No, I’m okay here. Unless you aren’t. Do you want to go somewhere else?” I ask, suddenly unsure he even wants to be here alone with me.
He smiles, and it’s like the sun coming out from behind the clouds. “No. I’m right where I want to be.”
When he’s like this—sweet and so caring about everything I want—I want to tell him I think I’m the luckiest girl in the world. All my friends tell me never to do that because then he’ll get complacent and not be so great once he knows how crazy I am about him, but it’s not like I haven’t told Ronan how much I love him before. Anyway, he’s not like other guys at school. How many of them would sit next to me at my dining room table watching me study and helping me get ready for finals?
Ronan, my Ronan, is one of a kind.
When he leans down to kiss me, the ends of his silk bow tie brush against the sides of my face. I push them out of the way, but I can’t help but giggle at how cool they feel on my skin.
He realizes what’s happening and slides the black tie from around his neck, tossing it on top of his jacket. I reach up and unbutton his top shirt button, and for a long moment, I can’t help but stare at how good he looks.
In truth, he could wear a ratty t-shirt and a pair of his oldest basketball shorts, and he’d still look incredible. I don’t know how, but for him, it seems almost effortless.
Ronan returns to kissing me, but now he cradles my face in his strong hands. I feel like I’m in heaven when he touches me like this. Like I’m something so important he wants to cherish me.
When he slowly pulls away, I miss the feel of his lips on mine. He’s probably wondering why I’m not doing anything to reciprocate. I want to, but it’s like I get lost in how he makes me feel when we’re alone like this and I forget he’d probably like to know I care too.
“I’m sorry. I got a little into my head there for a few seconds,” I say, avoiding his gaze.
He crouches down in front of me and smiles, making my insides do a flip. “It’s okay, Kate. I like how you’re someone who spends time thinking. It keeps me on my toes and makes me have to figure out what to do.”
Hearing that makes me sad. Ronan doesn’t deserve to wonder if I care about him as much as he cares about me.
I reach out and cradle his face like he did with me a minute ago. “Don’t ever think I’m not absolutely, positively crazy in love with you, Ronan King. Because I am. I just don’t show it all the time because I’m too busy thinking stupid stuff.”
“Nothing you could think would be stupid, Kate.”
Tonight was supposed to be about us having a place to have sex without worrying someone would walk in on us, but it’s quickly turning into my ruining our time together because I’m insecure. I don’t want to be. It’s just that I sometimes worry one day Ronan will figure out he wants to be with someone who knows how to do her hair and makeup expertly.
Maybe someone who’s a cheerleader since he’s a star athlete.
I shouldn’t say anything about that, but it’s like I can’t stop myself.
“Sometimes I wonder why you want to be with me at all. I’m not like the girls all your friends hang out with. They probably ask you why you’d want to date a girl like me whose head is always in her books.”