Page 62

Looking around, I wonder if she can see me now. If she can, is she as disappointed as I am at what my life has become?
I see another large tree ahead, so I walk toward it and sit down in the shade it offers. Wiping my forehead, I close my eyes and think about how I’d be playing ball now if it weren’t for my accident. I’d be out on the field, just in from the grass where I always played. I can practically smell the scent of fresh cut grass fill my nostrils.
For the first time since I was a little boy, I haven’t watched even a single game on TV this year. I tried, but I could only watch a few seconds of a Yankees game before I had to turn it off. It hurt too much knowing that’s all I ever wanted to do and that dream will never happen for me now.
Tears burn my eyes, so I wipe them away. When I open my eyes, I’m stunned to see a rabbit sitting not five feet away. It’s just staring at me, like it thinks it knows who I am or can’t figure out what I’m doing out here with him.
I wait for it to move, but it doesn’t. For a second or two, I wonder if someone is pranking me and put a rabbit figurine there for me to see. That doesn’t make sense, though, since I haven’t told anyone what I asked my mother to send me for a sign.
Is this for real?
After a minute or so, I start talking to it. The rabbit remains still, so I say, “I hear you might be a sign. Know anything about that?”
Still, he doesn’t move. He simply stares at me. So I continue.
“I asked my mother to give me a sign she can see me and isn’t disappointed in me. I’d like to think that’s you. To be honest, I need it to be you. I’m struggling here. I want to get back to a normal life, but I’m a mess. The girl I loved and lost is back, and all I can think is I’m going to lose her again. I want to be the person I used to be, but I can’t be.”
Stopping, I hold up my right arm for the silent rabbit still staring at me, and I’m surprised when it doesn’t flinch at my movement. “Because of this. I don’t know what to do now that I can’t do what I’ve always dreamed of doing. I don’t have to do anything, I guess. I have enough money to just lie around. I don’t want to do that, though.”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling some of my sadness leave with it. “What would you do if you lost one of your paws? It would suck. Trust me. Then again, it would probably be worse for you since you walk on all four of your legs. The thing is, though, I needed the hand I lost to play ball. That’s all I ever wanted to do, and I finally got my chance. And then, one night, in a flash, the chance was gone. So now I hang out here and chat up rabbits in my spare time. Nice, huh?”
He stares at me, and I feel compelled to say what I never utter out loud. Lowering my voice, I say, “If this is you, Mom, let meknow I didn’t let you down. Show me something that will let me think you’re watching over me.”
I finish talking and watch as the rabbit appears to nod his head before hopping away. Tears fill my eyes at the thought that this was really my sign.
Tilting my head back, I look up through the green leaves above me toward the sky. “Thanks for listening, Mom. I love you. I miss you so much. It’s been so hard these past few months. I wish you were here.”
By the time I get back to the house, I feel like a new man. Maybe that whole rabbit thing was just one living creature watching another ramble on about his life, but maybe it was what Sabrina claimed would happen.
All I know is I want today to be a new start for my life. And for Kate and me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Kate
My phone vibratesacross the table as I sit reading over my new job policies for the third time, so I reach for it and see it’s Ronan. Excited to hear from him, even though it’s only been a day since our lunch together, I hurriedly answer.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“I was wondering if you’d like to do lunch again. How about Monday?” he asks, and I swear I hear a tiny hint of fear in his voice.
Hoping to let him know he doesn’t have to worry, I quickly answer, “Sure!”
Normally, I’d ask where, but I get the sense Ronan isn’t ready to leave Matthias and Ava’s house yet. That’s okay with me. I’m not exactly slumming it by going to lunch at the King estate.
“Okay. Say noon?”
My heart fluttering, I answer, “Okay. Noon sounds great.”
“I want to tell you about something Sabrina told me about. I didn’t buy into it at first, but it turned out to be true. It’s going to sound completely crazy.”
Just the mention of her name makes me uncomfortable. I can’t put my finger on why, but I don’t like her. Yes, it may be simple jealousy, but it feels like something more. Something darker. I wish I could figure it out.
“Oh?” I say, trying to sound interested when all I want to ask is, “What did she tell you, and was she wearing that black bikini at the time?”
“Yeah. I’ll save it for when we have lunch because it feels like something I want to tell you in person, but it’s cool.”
“Oh, okay. I guess I’ll see you Monday at noon,” I say, wishing I didn’t have to wait two days to see him again.